Agoraphobia, fear of public places and college. Neglected by own father and abundant feeling of worthlessness. Feels threatened by father sometimes and suicide being the only option available. Fear of future enrages my weaknesses and loss of interest in studies and all my previously admired hobbies. (From India)
While there wasn’t an actual question in your email it sounds like there are several issues that are impinging on you as you enter college. I appreciate you reaching out and explaining the struggles you are having.
Your university has a counseling center and I think as you transition into your studies talking to someone there would be very important. Each of the elements described—the fears, abandonment, suicidal ideation, and your lack of interests, are all concerns the counselors at the university can help with. I’d make an appointment with them and have them start helping you sort through them with you… and more importantly, find effective ways to deal with them.
Wishing you patience and peace,