I have this partner in life now who has been diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia since 2008. We have been schoolmates long way on our high school days before. After 7 years we’ve meet again most probably earlier of February 2011. At first, I really don’t have the idea that he has been sick that way. We tried to communicate normally as younger adult, who is starting to feel something in between us, like falling in love. Like the usual couple, we started dating and be together after long talks. It feels like I have the best days of my life after all the tragic relationships I have been through. I always prayed and ask for signs that this would be it. He is the ONE. Before we put ourselves into this, he told me about his health condition. I was really fallen for him. And those signs really meant for him to be called mine. I accepted him wholeheartedly and tried to go more deeply with his life. Then, I have learned the inner side of him, which is the one I totally asked for. we were so inlove but then everything is changing inch by inch till we reach 3 years of being together. In every year we spent, we’ve been into a roller coaster ride. the first quarter was so odd, I called it “the peak season of nightmare”. He can’t be understand. He is somehow vocally hostile for me. and he is brutal in his physical approach to his mom and brother.
For 3 years of what we are, the first year of loved and all caress turns into deep sorrow and pain the following years. I can really say, I am deeply hurt inside by all those manifestations he going through and for all the instances that we can’t keep ourselves from too much of an argue. after a year of ups and downs, our love or shall I say my love turns so deeply that grows. I became pregnant from him. yes, we had a one year old child now. but due to his condition, his mom decided to separate us. give gaps in between us behind the child. It was awful, it hurts.. i know deep within him, he was hurt too. he don’t want that way. I don’t know again, for what intent reason, according to his mom, he has been showing too much violent early this year. he don’t want to get contact with me anymore. we are not the same as before. but we use to see each other merely a few hours a week after they have fetch our son in my place.
yes! we had child yet they decided that we will not be together in one place. the support is there for the child but as a family there is none. by the way, he was in chronic stage. he is in medication right now. I wanted him to be fully rehabilitated but it is difficult for them to pursue. factors would be: he doesn’t cooperate well though he insisted he is trying. and the family itself is in denial stages. acceptance does varies a lot.
is there a chance for us to become as family? can he be back to normal father for his child? I love him and we loved him so much that I am still waiting in vain. please help me. If my stand still be okay?
If I understand your question correctly, your partner has schizophrenia but was previously symptomatic, can sometimes be violent and has only just begun taking his medication. You want to know if there is a chance for the family to reunite and if he can be a “normal father.”
Those are tough questions to answer. The truth is, only time will tell. If he complies with treatment and does so consistently, then there is a good chance he can remain stable. If not, then his symptoms will likely return.
Ask anyone who has a family member with schizophrenia and they will tell you how challenging it can be to cope with the dynamics of the disorder. It can profoundly affect all members of the family. In fact, the challenges associated with having a loved one with a severe mental illness was the impetus for the development of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), one of the largest family-oriented advocacy groups in the United States. It’s a struggle for both family members and the individual living with the disease.
Continue to be supportive of your husband but recognize there’s probably only so much you can do. It would be advantageous for you to read about schizophrenia. If you Google the terms “schizophrenia and family support” you will find many resources on the subject. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
