I suffer from bipolar and anxiety. I’m a wife and a mother of two. I had seen the same psych doctor for 10 years. Then it got to the point that I couldn’t drag myself to go to my spots. Finally, they booted me from the clinic. I’m still taking the same meds I begged my doctor to change as they were not working. My mother passed away in jan 2015 and my step dad in April 2016. They have me on 3 different meds cymbals, gabapentin n Valium. I started school in March to try to take my thoughts away from all the overwhelming stuff. Well the whole time I’ve been in a brain fog. I feel disassociated with reality. I either sleep alot or to much. I don’t go in public because I get high anxiety or pop two or three Valiums. I sleep to much or to little. Thoughts of suicide come and go. Because I think of all the suicidal lies. I’m scared some days of it but I get threw it somehow. There’s day where I plan out to do it but don’t. I’m not really suicidal right now. I can’t
lock myself up as I’m going threw an adoption. I seen one psych doctor ge was weird but made me go up on my meds that I don’t like I don’t feel they are helping. I can’t seem to get out of this brain fog or funk whatever u wanna call it. I feel like smoking pot though I havent. I’m tired all the time. I never feel fully rested no matter how much I sleep and I generally feel overwhelmed in life. What are your thoughts and suggestions?
The only form of treatment you are receiving seems to be medication. I would strongly recommend counseling. Counseling might be the missing element in your treatment. Medication without counseling is not a comprehensive treatment when it comes to most mental health disorders. You might also benefit from group counseling or a bereavement support group.
You may have taken on too much responsibility. At the height of your suffering, you decided to begin school and apparently are in the process of adoption, all while trying to care for yourself, your two children and grieving the recent loss of your mother and stepfather. In addition, you’re not sleeping. It would make sense that you might feel overwhelmed; most people would feel exactly the same way.
This is a serious issue because of your suicidal thoughts. Consider delaying the things that can wait (i.e. school and perhaps adoption) until you are feeling more stable. You should also seek counseling. Once you begin counseling, your therapist can refer you to a new psychiatrist to determine if a medication change is necessary.
If you have suicidal thoughts, go to the emergency room or call emergency services. They can protect you from harming yourself.
These issues are highly treatable. Counseling can make a major difference in your life. It is well worth trying. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
