Often I find myself more sad than happy. I don’t feel good enough to anyone, and when I try to say it to my family of a friend they always tell me to get over it. They tell me that I think the worlds out to get me when it really isn’t and I should stop acting the way I do. Sometimes I go to my room and regret even trying to talk to them. I can’t really get my way across to my family and it’s hard to talk to anyone else because they either don’t get it and get angry with me or I overreact and burst into tears, not being able to breathe. I often cry myself to sleep and sometimes sleeping is getting difficult right now. I keep waking up every hour or so to use the bathroom and my family members who have shared a room with me say that I always toss and turn in bed and grit my teeth often.
Lately I’ve been getting angry or sad over little things. Sometime my mother or father has said usually make me cry or I start yelling. I retaliate more at my mother than my father. I have put my hands on my mother but it was just a push. Sometimes my inner thoughts about myself get to me and I think worse than it really is; if I can’t win in something I think of myself as a failure, if I do bad on a test I think I’m stupid rather than thinking the test was hard. I call myself ugly and fat 24/7 and I don’t believe when other people tell me otherwise.
My family calls me lazy and it gets me angry. I don’t really do anything during the day but sleep and being on my phone or computer. I have been going to the doctor often for my obesity. I’m only 16 and weigh 350 lbs. this discourages me so much because I feel like I’m doing everything and I have done everything to loose it but it’s not working. I have been to behavior specialists and i have taken anti-depressants but i stopped doing so last year. Also, Last year have been diagnosed with poly cystic ovarian syndrome.
You have a lot going on and not much support. Your recent medical diagnosis is most likely contributing to your emotional distress.
I’m wondering why you stopped psychological treatment? Was it not working? If one therapist is not helpful, then try another. The same is true with medication. It often takes a great deal of trial and error before you will find the right therapist and the right medication. You shouldn’t give up.
Summer might be a particularly stressful time for teenagers because there’s less structured time. When school is in session, you’re not home all day. When people have extra time, they may focus more on their problems, which in turn causes them to feel more depressed than usual.
The excessive weight is also likely contributing to your depression.
I would recommend resuming therapy and trying to find a medication that could relieve your depression. With the assistance of your parents and your pediatrician or primary care doctor, choose a therapist who specializes in behavioral weight loss. There are many good behavioral treatment specialists who can assist with weight loss.
You should also consider joining a gym or an exercise group. Try checking with your local YMCA or your school. It would ensure that you’re physically active and also get you out of the house. It would also be a nice respite from your family.
You should also consider inviting your family to participate in family therapy. It might help to address the negativity coming from your family. They may not be aware of how their negative words are affecting you. Therapy might provide a safe haven for making them aware of this problem.
Don’t be discouraged. It is a difficult time in your life but it won’t always be this way. Time will pass, you will grow and things will change. You can accelerate positive, psychological change by resuming your mental health treatment. You will be glad you did. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice Blog
