Hi, Please help. In October 2013, my Granny had passed away due to a long term battle with Cancer. Shortly after this (January 2014) my Girlfriend of 6 years had developed Psychosis and spent the next few months going in and out of hospital. I have stayed with her for the past year and a half dealing with it. throughout the past year, I have had two friends that were getting rather violent and angry towards me and stopped talking to me as a result in April. I had a friend commit Suicide in May. I have other friends whom I talk to and see every now and then, However I feel as if they are avoiding me.
I feel disconnected from the world and people. I recently broke up with my Girlfriend because I thought it was the relationship that was causing me to feel this way. She would have her ups and downs, days in which she was Happy and bubbly and other days in which she was down and upset. She would be in bed and sleeping after taking her tablets at 11 and would sleep until about 1 or 2 the following day.
I can’t help but feel down. I feel as if there is nobody here to help me. I feel like everyone I care about is going to leave me or die. Its obvious I love and care for my Girlfriend however I think i need time to sort my head out. Nothing interests me and I can’t concentrate. I’m constantly thinking about everyone leaving me and that all I am is a burden on my friends.
I often Question if breaking up with my Girlfriend was the right choice. I feel disconnected from her. The sex is at best just full of effort from both of us and If i continued down this route with my Girlfriend I would have gotten severe depression or worse, However I can’t help but feel I’ve made the wrong choice and I should stick it out with my Girlfriend because she’s the only one that has ever cared for me.
Please reply and Thanks for Reading.
You are dealing with a number of recent losses which understandably have made you upset. On top of that, you have noted possible symptoms of depression.
I don’t have enough information to know if you made the right decision regarding your girlfriend. You said that staying with her would’ve led to severe depression but did not say why. If you are correct, then it would seem that breaking up was the right decision.
She is also experiencing her own psychological difficulties. Neither of you sound healthy enough to maintain a flourishing relationship, at this time. After you both are more stable, maybe then consider reestablishing the relationship.
You should consider counseling. Depression and relationship problems are two of the most common reasons people enter counseling. Counseling can provide you with guidance about your relationship and teach you how to manage your possible depression symptoms.
Another option is a grief/bereavement support group. Many people benefit from talking about their losses. Sharing your loss often facilitates the healing process.
Once you are feeling more stable, you will be in a better position to make decisions about your future and with whom you want to spend it. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
