Ok so I am 16 and in my last year for secondary school and my school life has been fun as i have enjoyed my life so far, but since April my mum has stopped dropping me by car or picking me up by car from school so i now travel by bus, so one day on the bus i was listening to music when my mind dosed off and i started to fantasise about killing the passengers of the bus in very grotesque ways such as running there face between the tyres of cars so that there face rips off their skull and just look like a pancakes and then i would feed it to the passenger next to them and i also do something grotesque to them, and its come to point where i enjoy it, and now i can just think about it and do it to any one i want whether it be family members or class members i really have no remorse so the ways which i kill them are bloody and unreal. I do not suffer from any sort of depression, (when i searched for this question, most people had been suffering from depression or had thoughts of committing suicide which i have not yet) and i do not have any problems against the people that i think about killing it just that it makes me happy killing in my mind. I have not told anyone so far as they may laugh at me (which i would also do), i am not sure if this is something normal or if this is something i should worry about as it may lead on to much worse thing but currently i do not believe that i will complete or act out these thoughts as it is illegal and against my religion but who knows something might click and even that may not stop me. All I asking is should i tell anyone, or should i just leave it be and not act on it, and what actions should i take (also i have come to being fascinated by surgeries which involve needles and knives and also murders which involve a lot of blood and i have not played video games in a year due to exams creeping closer so i do not think that that is the problem). Thanks
These fantasies occur to you during the boredom of a bus ride. You know the difference between right and wrong. You don’t seem to be at risk of carrying out these actions. You not depressed or suicidal or otherwise unhappy or unsatisfied with your life. Generally speaking, people don’t “snap.” That only happens in movies and other fictionalized versions of graphic violence.
When these fantasies arise, try refocusing on something less violent. Reading a book or listening to music or distracting yourself with more positive imagery might eliminate these fantasies altogether. The goal is to change the nature of your fantasies, if possible. Counseling could help you to achieve that goal.
Call emergency services if you believe that you cannot control your behavior or are at risk of harming someone. They can protect you. Good luck and don’t hesitate to write again with additional questions. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
