I have been experiencing hallucinations for a little more that a year. I am 20 now, and have been experiencing a lot of stress due to school-what I had thought to be a potential cause. I had considered talking to someone about it but it seems to be too much of a risk. Another symptom that has struck me recently is my inability to handle social situations, I find myself wanting to be alone more than I used to. I cant seem to act appropriately in specific social contexts. My friends can tell the difference, I’m more distant, and apathetic. in less then a half hour, Iv gone from depression to moments of extreme euphoria — which has also prompted unusual behavior. When something goes wrong, almost immediately, my mind assumes tampering of some kind of sort. after which i can reason as to be irrational.
I am going to school for electrical engineering. The majority of which is math based. If I lose my ability to do math I am going to assume I have lost my mind. I have taken up chess as a hobby, as it is the perfect test for a rational mind. My question to you then is not whether or not my mind is leaving me, for I am convinced of this, it’s whether or not I should spare my family from the burden that I would become. If I am not a weight on their shoulders surely I would be onto someone else.
I am not sad about my current condition, I’ve learned to cope. I only regret not being able to do the good that I had so hoped to fulfill. My values had held the virtue of economy, my goals were forged with everyone in mind. I had hoped to be a force for good, and yet I have been struck with ailment that would hinder my mind. please help me figure out what to do!
You’re making a mistake by not seeking professional help. You are not a mental health professional. Leave issues of mental health to the professionals. Few mental health professionals could design a tuned inductive circuit. They would wisely leave it up to an electrical engineer. Chess is based on logic and as a logical person you should come to the logical conclusion that you are not qualified to diagnose yourself and most certainly not qualified to treat yourself. Get help. You have your life ahead of you and it can easily be the rich life that you have desired. The key is to simply to make up your mind that seeking help is the right thing to do.
If you were having physical health symptoms, would you judge it as “too much of a risk” to consult a medical professional? I highly doubt it.
Mental health symptoms are every bit as serious as physical health symptoms in the sense that they require professional treatment. You are no more equipped to treat your own mental health symptoms than you would be to treat your own physical health symptoms. That is true not just for you but for all laypersons.
You’re worried that seeking help is “too much of a risk” but not seeking help is a much greater risk. Based on your letter, your symptoms have not improved and have made your life more difficult. Seeking help to prevent your symptoms from worsening is much less of a risk than allowing the symptoms to grow out of control to the point where you have lost your ability to think rationally. Without intervention, your symptoms could progress to the point where you are unable to complete your electrical engineering degree. Thus, the longer you wait to seek help, the bigger the risk you are taking.
You insightfully recognize that a problem exists. I hope that you can also recognize the importance of seeking professional help before this problem further disrupts your life.
Virtually all colleges have counseling centers where students can receive free mental health counseling. In cases where longer-term care is needed, the counseling center staff can refer you to specialists in the community. I urge you to utilize those services so you can prevent the development of future problems. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
