I have had 2 homosexual dreams but I am only aroused by women. Gay thought keep coming to mind, but I truly hate it. What is wrong with me? I just woke up from a 2nd gay dream. In Dream 1, a man tried to have sex with me, after I followed a woman into a shower, but I ran away from the man. In Dream 2, I tried to kiss a girl but i ended up kissing my best friend (a dude), but in the dream I hated it also. I constantly have homosexual thoughts during the day but tune them out. They do not arouse me. I dream about women constantly and the thought of man on man action does not turn me on. I love my friend, but not in that way. Am I gay?
You are absolutely normal. At 18, it is usual to explore the full scope of your own sexuality. You are curious about all kinds of sex and you probably think about it a lot. It’s part of the natural sorting process that people go through if they will let themselves. Whether you are hetero or homosexual or something else will naturally come to you over time.
According to TeenHealth’s website, “As people pass from childhood into their teen years and beyond, their bodies develop and change. So do their emotions and feelings. During the teen years, the hormonal and physical changes of puberty usually mean people start noticing an increase in sexual feelings. It’s common to wonder and sometimes worry about new sexual feelings. It takes time for many people to understand who they are and who they’re becoming. Part of that involves better understanding of their own sexual feelings and who they are attracted to. During the teen years, people often find themselves having sexual thoughts and attractions. For some, these feelings and thoughts can be intense and seem confusing. That can be especially true for people who have romantic or sexual thoughts about someone who is the same sex they are. “What does that mean,” they might think. “Am I gay?” Being interested in someone of the same sex does not necessarily mean that a person is gay — just as being interested in someone of the opposite sex doesn’t mean a person is straight. It’s common for teens to be attracted to or have sexual thoughts about people of the same sex and the opposite sex. It’s one way of sorting through emerging sexual feelings. Some people might go beyond just thinking about it and experiment with sexual experiences with people of their own sex or of the opposite sex. These experiences, by themselves, do not necessarily mean that a person is gay or straight.”
“Why are some people straight and some people gay? There is no simple answer to that. Most medical experts, including those at the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the American Psychological Association (APA), believe that sexual orientation involves a complex mix of biology, psychology, and environmental factors. Scientists also believe a person’s genes and hormones play an important role. Most medical experts believe that, in general, sexual orientation is not something that a person voluntarily chooses. Instead, sexual orientation is just a natural part of who a person is. There’s nothing wrong about being LGBT. Still, not everyone believes that. These kinds of beliefs can make things difficult for LGBT teens.”
Even when you’ve made a clear decision, there will be times when you will kind of try on other alternatives in your dreams and fantasies and thinking. It’s part of being human.
You don’t need to stress about it.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
