I don’t know what’s happening to me. I keep hearing things and seeing things that are terrifying me, but whenever I tell my parents about it, they just say they don’t see/hear anything. To make it even worse, they start belittling and insulting me for it (they’ve actually just been doing that unprovoked lately). I feel like I’m a burden towards my family and I just want these feelings to go away. Overall, I’ve just been feeling empty, like I’m worthless and just cause problems. I don’t want to be the problem child, but I don’t know how to make my parents happy anymore. I recently saw something crawling up my wall (I have a huge phobia of bugs) and my parents said nothing was there and got mad and insulted me for it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and I just want this to stop. Please someone help me.
I’m sorry that you’re having these issues with your parents. It’s not okay that your parents belittle and insult you. That’s not a reflection of you or your value as a person. It’s more a reflection of them or potentially their own personal problems.
I understand that their reaction feels personal but try not to take it that way. It’s possible that they are stressed, don’t know what to say, have trouble knowing how to react appropriately to their child expressing a need for help with problems they may not know how to solve, etc.
Some parents hold false cultural beliefs/stereotypes about mental illness or believe that if you ignore a problem, it will go away. Others might chalk it up to a phase or they simply do not to know how to help you. Please know that I’m not making excuses for your parents. I’m simply trying to explain why they might be reacting the way they are. Often, when people react inappropriately or poorly in situations like this, it is due to fear or not knowing what to do. It not because of something you did wrong.
In the meantime, I would recommend documenting your symptoms—the things that you are seeing and hearing that frighten you. It would be good to have a record of experiences, especially to provide to a mental health professional.
I would also recommend contacting the school guidance counselor, if possible. Understandably, it’s summertime and there may be less faculty at school, especially given the pandemic, however, many schools have counseling services available all year round. If you can, contact the school guidance counselor via the Internet. You should tell them about what you’re experiencing and they may be able to convince your parents to take you for help.
Another option is to discuss your concerns with a trusted family member. Perhaps you have an aunt or an uncle whom you trust, who will take you seriously. If so, they may be able to intervene.
The most optimal option is to contact a mental health professional. This may not be easy to do, especially if your parents are ignoring your concerns. If you have access to a doctor (most often a pediatrician in individuals under 18), they may also be able to help. If you can share this information with your doctor, you should. They too can help.
The bottom line is that you want to do whatever is in your power to share this information with someone you think could help. They would be in the best position to help you. Understandably, this may be difficult because of your parents but do what you need to do in order to receive help. With the right treatment these problems can be resolved.
It’s also important to remember, as I’ve stated earlier, that you are not a burden and you are most certainly deserving of help. Your parents likely have their own problems which might explain why they are inappropriately reacting to you. Don’t stop trying to access help until you get it. Let people know what’s wrong and ask for help, even if you have to ask repeatedly. Sometimes, we have to be our own best advocate. Good luck and please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
