I’m a 25-year-old guy with a bachelor degree in english translating (which I suck at it btw) and now I’m living a void life. I live in Iran. I’ve been depressed since I was 17, but I wasn’t this much depressed back in time. Back then I thought being alone and having no love in my life or being ugly and awkward is the worst thing that can happen but the truth is right now things are even worse. About 8/9 months ago my ex broke up with me and 2 months later I realized she’s engaged. We were together for one year. We had our troubles. She wanted to get married and finally it all ended. After a while I realized that she was the last meaning of my life and I would do anything to have her back and marry her. But it was late. Too late actually. Since then I’ve been thinking about her everyday and I highly doubt I’ll find love again.
When i look back at my life I see a lot of things. I had tonsil removal (Tonsillectomy) when I was 8. 2 years later I removed my vermiform appendix and few days after surgery it got infected so i had to have a surgery again. After that the doctor said this boy can’t be as strong as he is. His body would be much weaker. I have a very huge nose which I was humiliated a lot because of it. I’m very skinny and can’t weight. I have tried everything even protein shakes. I’m extremely skinny and a bit short. Maybe I should have died at the time I was born. I think I have ADD which makes things worse. I can’t concentrate on my work. I might even get fired in the near future.
Since this world has become much more shallow (because of the media and hollywood, etc) I don’t think I should be among people. People always prefer smart and beautiful people. It’s a fact. Don’t tell me personality matters. If personality mattered we would have lived in a much better world.
I have come to a conclusion to end my life. I live in Iran and can’t immigrate so don’t tell me I can change my life by doing that. I would appreciate it if you could reply to this email professionally.
Let me answer your question directly, no, it is not the “right time” to commit suicide. Getting help is the answer, not suicide.
Problems are a part of life. We all experience them, but your challenge might be that you lack coping skills to navigate life problems. Counseling could help. Coping skills can be learned.
Studies show that people who have attempted suicide and survived are glad that they did not die. They had difficulty envisioning an end to their suffering and incorrectly thought that suicide was the answer to their problems. Having survived their suicide attempt, they realized that their problems were solvable and their feelings of hopelessness eventually passed.
People who are contemplating suicide tend only to see the negative potential outcomes of life. They are so oriented towards negative outcomes that they overlook the potentially positive outcomes. Who’s to say that you won’t meet another women to love or marry or meet someone who loves your personality? Ending your life will most certainly ensure that you’ll never get to experience those possibilities.
Counseling, can help in many ways. It can help you to be more successful in relationships. It can help you to feel more confident. It can help you to appreciate life, and on and on.
I have worked with many people who have had relationship problems. I once had a client who was renowned for his good looks and physique. He dressed meticulously, spent up to an hour trimming his moustache.
Every woman that he had dated, over his 15-year dating history, broke up with him. His longest relationship lasted three months. He was devastated. His appearance did him absolutely no good.
Probably, everyone reading this answer, has seen really beautiful men and women, with partners who were not very good looking, prompting a comment of this sort “what does she see in that guy?”
I believe you are over valuing looks.
I’m not certain how accessible mental health treatment is in Iran but I would strongly urge you to seek professional help. Millions of people have felt the way you have, have sought professional help and have fully recovered. If you’re willing to seek help, you can expect the same outcome. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
