i am 15 and i fear something is wrong with me but my doctor has told me i do not have bipolar but i do have ADHD and insulin resistance.
when i was young my brothers and sisters were extremely mean to me. i was told i was adopted and they even printed out fake adoption papers. they told me they were going to kill me one day. i was told i was a mistake that i should have never been born.
now one moment i am extremly violent with some situations. one is my sister i see her or even hear her voice and i want to just literaly kill her but i wont because i know it is wrong instead i prey on her insuturies and call her very hurtful words like slut because she is a stripper and anthor situation one day my mom was outside talking to a friend and i kept calling for her beacuse i wanted to talk to her. She finally came and i was trying to talk to her about this person that was outside (which i really did not like) and i asked her to shut the screen door so i could talk to her and she did not. the next thing i remeber was my mom slapped me and i hit her (see what the hell is wrong with me no one should ever raise a finger to there mother) my glasses were broke and then after an hour i calmed down and was o.k.
After each of these rages the next day i feel fine as if i am glad but now looking back i feel horrible about what i have done.
Please tell me what is wrong with me so i can do something so i do not hurt anyone else.
thank you.
First, go back to your doctor and ask what to do about the insulin resistance. You may not have ADHD. One of the symptoms of insulin resistance is difficulty with concentration and focus. Further, depression and irritability are often correlated with IR. Start doing the things you need to do to treat the IR (exercise, nutrition) and you will probably feel quite a bit better, both physically and emotionally.
A separate issue is that you were emotionally abused by people in your family who are supposed to love you. Apparently your siblings were convinced there wasn’t enough love to go around so they had to eliminate the competition. You know how much it hurts. I imagine you are horrified that you are now doing the same thing to your sister.
It will take more than willpower to change how you react to your family. Talk to your high school guidance counselor to find out if there is any place in your town where a teenager can get some free counseling and support.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
