I am noticing a trend in my own life, whereas my own negativity and bitterness has become a part of my personality. I have always been on the blunt end of any experience; social rejection, bullying, assault and alienation seem to follow me on a constant basis no matter how I change my attitude. I have learned to simply just accept this, as life for me will never get better, and all attempts to possibly change that belief are futile. My own actions regarding this have not warranted this type of behavior to happen; I try my best to be empathetic, caring and understanding to many people that I have come across, but I always either receive nothing in return or get outright, unreasoned hostility. I tend to talk to people that are no lesser from my own life, for they have also undergone the same issues that I have, but it has become clear to me that not even they want to associate themselves with me.
I was not originally like this when I was growing up. When I was younger, I generally felt happier and compassionate when it came to things like this. I was still treated as an inferior person, but my past optimistic behavior allowed me to see through those bad experiences and enjoy life. However, many things along the way had caused me to lose those attributes as I had gotten older. People started treating me different, and I wasn’t prepared to come face-to-face with this new particular type of behavior. They started to bully me to the point where all I could just do is cry in a corner, they started to alienate and completely ignore my presence, and they had caused me to change. Looking back at that particular time made me adapt to this person that I am today.
Could self-fulfilling prophecy cause in this attitude that I am seeing in people now, or is it coincidence that is making people feel this way to me? Am I purposely causing people to treat me like this, regardless of my attitude as of now? I would like to know as what the next step would be in this, since I don’t know the answer myself.
P.S.: I am currently receiving therapy and medication for PTSD, schizoaffective disorder and psychosis. Neither of which appear to be helping me in this regard. Thanks.
Without more information about your relationships and interaction style, it’s difficult to answer your question. With the assistance of a therapist, you can analyze how you are behaving with others. An analysis of this type will determine how your behavior may be contributing to problematic relationships. That’s the best way to answer your questions about your difficulty in relationships.
Generally speaking, if you are continually having the same problems in relationships, then you may be doing something wrong. Once you are aware of these issues, you can change them. That’s the first step in correcting behavior. We can’t change our behavior if we are unaware of it. Therapy will help you objectively analyze how you behave with others.
If your therapist isn’t helpful, find another one. You should also consider group therapy. The group can provide valuable feedback about your interaction style. It can also model new ways of interacting with others.
Medication can alter your personality. Check with your psychiatrist to determine if it’s affecting your interactions with others. I hope this helps. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
