I’m only 13 years old. I think I am bi-polar but I honestly don’t know whats wrong with me. My mom is a single parent,my dad died when I was only 6 months old. Anyways, I am always depressed and sad for no reason. I’m always arguing with my mom and my two brothers everyday. When I do I act so crazy I dont even understand why I do. Then I cut myself. Not with a knife,with my nails.
I want to stop and I want help but I feel like everyone is gonna look at me like I’m crazy,probraly am. I feel like my mom doesn’t know how I feel in the inside and I try to tell her all the time but she always says that I need to go to a mental hospital. But only if she knew how I really felt,I don’t think she would say that.
Sometimes I just want to run away and never come back and hope that everyone will just forget about me and go on with their life. I dont know what to do. I’m so young and I’m just so crazy. I hate myself and I cry all the time about it and just think to myself why cant I be a normal kid and why can’t anyone just understand me. I only have one small scar. When people look at me they must think I’m happy cause I act normal when I’m out in public and with my friends but really in the inside I’m just depressed and filled with emotions that I don’t know how to get rid of. I just want to be normal and wish that my family can just understand.
I’m so very glad you wrote. I’m sure it’s frustrating that you can’t get through to your mom. She may be thinking that this is normal 13-year-old girl emotionality. She may not want to believe that her little girl is in so much distress. On top of that, you act normal a good deal of the time so your mom and other people may think you’re just into drama.
I can’t make a diagnosis on the basis of a letter. For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re crazy. You do need to see someone who can help you sort this out.
I suggest you start with your school guidance counselor or school nurse. They can often be helpful in talking to a parent so that a student gets services. Your family doctor can also help. At 13, it may be that you have a hormonal imbalance that is contributing to your up and down feelings as well. Please do get that checked out. If you are physically okay, the next step would be a mental health evaluation and perhaps some counseling to help you deal with your stormy emotions and the tension in your relationship with your mother. You are motivated to be “normal.” You’ll do well in counseling.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
