I have 4 “versions” of myself. The main one (me) is the artistic one and sees everything in a positive light but can get depressed easily. The second main is Jake who is logical and sees everything more realistically but can get angry easier than the rest of us and is the strongest. The third version is Jack who is a over confident person who has no emotions for others and gets things he wants for the body’s benefit. The fourth one jakey is the happiest out of all of us and is very careless about the body. jakey sees things as “life is short so why not” type of attitude.jakey comes out in a very happy scene or when I get into a deep depressed state. We are all aware of each other and we all share the same memories. They started to exist after an overwhelming event of getting out of a bad relationship, going home to angry parents, and going to school was hell. I was 13 at the time and I kept my sadness inside because I didn’t want to worry my parents even more. I have a history of suicidal actions, and self-hurting actions. There are times where we all fight like siblings but nothing too harsh. They don’t look different from me however they act a lot different from me. I hope this make sense. Its not multiple personality because they look like me but they act very different from me (hence they are called versions) However, I know that it’s not nothing. I’ve decided to accept them and let them have full control of the body for one day throughout the week. Please tell me if this is a mistake or if there is something better I should do. Thank you for your time.
You stated that this is “not multiple personality”, but you should avoid self-diagnosis. The only way to know with certainty if you have DID, or any disorder, is to be evaluated, in-person, by a mental health professional.
You may be describing dissociative identity disorder (DID), formerly known as multiple personality disorder. What’s most concerning is your history of suicidal and “self-hurting actions.” Studies indicate that people who have tried to end their lives or to hurt themselves in the past have an increased likelihood of trying it again in the future. That’s concerning, especially in the context of the distress associated with your “four versions.” When you recognize that a problem may be present, it is best to consult an expert.
Relative to other types of mental health conditions, dissociative disorders are not well understood. In general, it is thought that some people disassociate in response to traumatic experiences. You mentioned having a history of trauma. It’s possible that these “versions” developed to buffer the trauma in your life, to protect you from experiencing psychological pain. In other words, it’s a defense mechanism. Defense mechanisms only last for so long. Trained professionals will know what to do and can guide you through the process of integrating the “versions.” Choose a therapist who has experience with dissociative disorders. Good luck.
Dr. Kristina Randle