From Fiji: My best friend and I always fight and she finally said we can’t be friends anymore. Please don’t see this as a teenage problem. I sent her many messages and she did not respond. I told her I was hurting a lot, she didn’t bother.
I have really broken down. It was around this time last year when I broke up with my boyfriend because he cheated on me. We had a five-year relationship and he had been cheating since 5 years. When I was in Form seven, my then best friend also distanced away and years later, she came to me saying sorry and that she had done that on purpose. I was very broken.
Now my best friend whom I got very close to has left me. I cry all the time.I trusted her very much. Right now I am at work and I feel the pain as I am working. Like all the blame is on me. I haven’t talked to anyone, I feel completely alone.
I am a journalism graduate and currently working. But working here is also a problem as they are a little bit racist and I want to move out of here.
I miss my best friend but she doesn’t seem to care one bit.The thing is, I love her like my sister, I am very attached. All communication is cut. She always cuts off communication whenever something happens. I do not know how to cope .This is affecting me, my health and my mental and emotional stability.
I feel very unstable and it’s just affecting my work and everything. I really want to get over it. But more than that, I want to fix this. But it seems she is just annoyed with me. I wanted to go see her, but I decided against it because she has not responded to one message of mine. I am feeling very very hurt and so so alone. I can feel my heart hurt. This was one friendship that I gave my all to. My ALL to. I put in all my effort, always tried to be there but my best friend has always blamed me for whatever happens between us.
This time, she has left and didn’t look back to see how I would be, how I would cope. She knows how close I am to her, yet she just left. Like I am a worthless, crazy loser. I always run after her , trying to seek her out whenever something happens. When she hurts me, and I try to tell her what the issue is, she says I am a drama queen and so many other things.
She has forgotten who I am. Our friendship used to be so pure but now, she thinks so low of me.
Please help me cope.Please tell me what to do and how to cope. I am sad all the time and I do not know what to do. My family think it’s because I am dissatisfied with my job, and that’s why I am sad all the time. I am probably heading towards depression but I can’t tell anyone.
I am so, so sorry that you are hurting so much. You are wise not to try to chase your former friend. You’ve been hurt enough. You don’t need to put yourself through another rejection,
I’m seeing a pattern in your relationships that may be difficult for you to consider. You seem to repeatedly find yourself in relationships where the other person is emotionally less invested than you are. Your boyfriend cheated. Your Form 7 friend distanced on purpose. This most current friend has blamed you for any problems in the friendship and called you a drama queen.
I don’t think fixing this relationship is wise or healthy. Instead, I strongly urge you to talk with a counselor in order to figure out why you put yourself in relationships where you give more than you get. Unless you do, you are likely to continue to fall for people who will reject you. You deserve better.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
