I used to never get angry at anyone until about 5 months ago. I will be talking to someone or just watching TV and I will start getting annoyed for no reason. That in turn will lead to anger but I don’t know why. When it’s happening I can’t reason with myself enough to wonder why it’s happening. It’s not until I am alone later that I realize what had happened. I need to find a way to fix this because it is starting to hurt my family and friends.
I have always loved to hang out with friends but lately when I text my friends I get mad and just stop texting them. Later I will wonder why I didn’t do it I get mad at myself. I want to do things with them but my anger mood swings always gets in the way.
My family means the world to me and I love them to death but I have been getting in a lot of fights with them recently. I just got in a fight with my sister yesterday over nothing. She had just asked me a question about myself and I blew up at her for no reason. It wasn’t like she was asking me anything bad I just got angry.
I don’t want to be mad anymore but I don’t know what to do to fix this. I just want to be back to my normal happy self. I used to get the nickname if smiley from all of basketball coaches because I was always in such a good mood. I want to get that nickname back. Please help me.
Thank you for writing. Your letter shows you to be an insightful and caring person. Instead of blaming others for your situation, you are looking for ways to get back in charge of your feelings so you don’t hurt the ones you love. Good for you.
You didn’t mention if anything happened 5 months ago that could have started this. Is something bothering you more than you want to admit? If that’s the case, a few sessions with a counselor might help you get to the bottom of it and to figure out what to do to make things right again.
But if this change of mood has come on you all of a sudden with no discernable reason, the first step is a trip to your medical doctor. Your irritability and touchiness just might have a medical reason. Hypothyroidism, for example, may lead to depressed mood. Insufficient sleep is also a major cause of depression in teens.
If you are medically fine, then it’s time to see a mental health professional. What you are reporting may be the onset of a depression. Many people think that depression only shows up as sadness and being down. But in some people, irritability is the primary symptom.
The good news is that you can be treated. Medical causes can be addressed. Psychotherapy can help you learn how to manage your moods and get back in control of your life.
There are also a number of techniques you can try to better manage anger on your own. Check these out:
- Practice mindfulness and deep breathing: When you start to feel angry, take a moment to pause and engage in mindfulness and deep breathing exercises. Focusing on your breath and being present in the moment can help calm your mind and reduce the intensity of your anger.
- Identify triggers: Keep track of situations that trigger your anger, and try to identify patterns or underlying causes. Being aware of your triggers can help you anticipate and prepare for them in the future.
- Develop healthy coping strategies: Experiment with different coping strategies to manage anger, such as exercise, meditation, journaling, or talking to a trusted friend or family member. Find what works best for you and make it a habit to use these strategies when you feel angry.
- Address underlying emotional issues: Sometimes anger is a manifestation of deeper emotional issues, such as stress, anxiety, or depression. If you find that your anger is consistent or intense, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional to address these underlying emotional issues.
Remember, it’s normal to feel angry from time to time, but it’s important to handle anger in a healthy and constructive way. Seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be helpful in managing anger and improving overall emotional well-being.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
