Tag:

Employment

Extreme Boredom at Work

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW February 3rd, 2021

I am having a serve issue at work. There is never enough to do. I literally have, at the most, 1 hour of work a day. I work in Higher Education as an administrative assistant in one of the offices. I try to read, color, organize, anything, but it still is not enough to keep me busy. I have expressed that I can handle more work, but the managers are too busy to find more work for me to do. I own a home and have a lot of animals, so I have to make sure, if I leave, that I have enough money to pay for all of my responsibilities. My problem is, I lack the courage to leave. I feel this is the top, if I go anywhere else, it will be “below” this job. I have never felt this way before. I do not know if it is the energy of working in Higher Ed or what, but I feel extremely stuck. I feel like if I leave, I will regret it. I have so much fear. But, I know deep in my heart that this boredom is causing me to feel anger and even hatred! I need to be busy, I need to move around. I am not the type of person that sits all day. I have a small farm at home which I love tended to. But, this, my means of making money, is destroying me. Please, any advice?

If your job is “destroying” you then consider leaving. The word “destroy” means to cause something to no longer exist. It is ill-advised to choose a job that, by your own admission, will destroy you.

If you choose to leave, do so responsibly. Research other jobs. Investigate other career paths. Try networking with people who are doing jobs that interest you. Having this knowledge might decrease your fear of leaving your current job.

Fear should not be the reason for your choosing to stay. Fear can be crippling. It should not be guiding your decision-making process. One should always use logic and reason to make decisions and never fear.

If you can’t leave your job because it is not feasible at this time, then you will have to find new creative ways to fill your time. Talk to your employer about increasing your workload. Maybe there are other departments that could use your help.

You have a decision to make. You can take action and make changes. You chose this job and you can choose another. “Choose” is the operative word. There are certainly other jobs you could do to earn a living, but right now you are choosing to stay.

I would also recommend counseling. Having an objective third-party provide support and expert guidance would significantly decrease your fear and assist you in moving forward. It will also expedite the process of finding work that better suits you. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

February 3, 2021 0 comment

Not Sure What To Do

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW March 31st, 2019

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

After High School I moved to another state to enroll in a Bible College. The first year was an amazing year and I absolutely loved it. The second year was the complete opposite. It was a disaster and I was severely depressed. The school had turned into a prison to me, one where I couldn’t even have control over my own life. At least that is what it felt like. When I came back home from my second year, I knew I was going to stay home. I was going to get a job, enroll at the university in town and move on. However as the summer droned on I had a really hard time finding a job and its really scarce here to get employment. Along with all of that my parents are possibly getting a divorce. My brother and his wife are working on getting a divorce as well and he moved back home with us. So now there are five people living in a two bedroom house. Its crazy. At first it was really difficult, now we are at the place where no talks about it. Recently my friend from college has invited me to come back and live with her. There I can get work and go to the community college for much less. It sounds like a smart thing to do, but sometimes the easiest thing isn’t always the right thing. I am torn. I love being home but my family is emotionally draining and I am extremely lonely because all of my friends are in another state. However I feel like if I move back then I’m not doing something for myself, I’m just letting my friend take care of me. And I can’t keep hopping states every time life gets hard. What do I do? Or can you at least help me make sense of all this confusion?

The easiest choice is often the incorrect choice but there are exceptions, and I believe this is one of them. Option one would be to stay in your hometown where the living situation is less than ideal, the outlook for jobs is bleak and your family life is emotionally draining. You are not enjoying the company of your family. Living with them leads to significant distress.

Option two would be to live with a friend in a new town in which work is plentiful. You could attend a local community college. In addition, you would have the opportunity to be with people you enjoy spending time with.

Option two seems like the wisest choice but I certainly don’t know your whole situation. I am basing my advice on only the 320 words that you have sent me.

You need a job. You have a desire to return to school, and community college affords you that opportunity. In addition, leaving home allows you to be with friends and move forward with your life.

If you consider your options from a logical perspective, the choice becomes clear. Everyone has the right to conduct their lives in the manner that they wish. I see option two as your desire to move forward in life but ultimately, the choice is yours. You may want to consult a therapist. Working with an objective third party might help to focus your thinking. I wish you the best luck. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

September 14, 2011 0 comment

Inadequacy & Job Rejection Have Led to Depression

by Julie Hanks, MSW, LCSW November 20th, 2019

written by Julie Hanks, MSW, LCSW

I have big goals, big dreams, big hopes for the future. I’ve built my life on working toward accomplishing these dreams. I’m generally a really optimistic, ambitious person. Anything I set my mind to, I succeed at in some way.

Until this year. It’s been a year of consistent, debilitating disappointments. I wrote a book and put my heart into it. I polished it and sent it out into the world. I received 30 rejections.

I’m a newly qualified teacher with two Masters degrees and $100,000 of student loan debt. I’ve applied for dozens of jobs and haven’t even gotten an interview.

I can’t stop the feelings of inadequacy and being not good enough because I’m LITERALLY not good enough. It’s been confirmed by 30 rejection letters and dozens of job applications unanswered. Nobody wants what I’m offering, even after I’ve worked my entire life to be prepared. I only have one person to talk to–my mom–and she’s insistent that I’m just being “negative”. This makes me feel so much worse. All I’d need to feel better is a few words of sympathy, but when I explain that, she says she can’t solve my problems for me (I don’t want her to, I just want to feel like I’m not alone). We both want me to move out, but seeing as I have no money and no chance of a job no matter how much I apply, I’m stuck here. It’s so unhealthy. My heart constricts just thinking about staying here another year.

This is the worst I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I’ve always been able to see the light at the end of the tunnel in the past, but this past year’s disappointments has obliterated the optimistic girl who could find the silver lining in everything.

You are obviously an intelligent and motivated woman who’s taken many steps to be successful in the workplace, so it makes sense that being unemployed and having multiple book rejections would be totally discouraging! It sounds to me like living at home isn’t helping either. Have you asked for your mom specifically for empathy and emotionally support? I suggest you let her know exactly what you’re looking for, even giving her the exact words, when you share your struggles with her. You mentioned that she’s the “only” one you have to talk to – why is that?

I suggest that the first step you take is to branch out socially so you have additional support during this difficult time. Try getting involved in some community groups that interest you, like book groups or hiking groups, for example. Consider spending some time volunteering. Look for ways to broaden your circle of associates and friends beyond you mother.

Since your current employment efforts aren’t going as planned, it might be time to get more creative in your problem solving by taking your passions, gifts, and training, and refocusing them temporarily. Here are a few examples of what I’m talking about.

Housing: What about looking for a housing situation where you manage an apartment complex in exchange for rent, or you check in on an elderly person in exchange for living in a basement apartment?

Employment: What about applying to non-teaching jobs while you’re waiting for the right teaching opportunity to come along? Any job will allow you to save money and move out on your own so you’re not “stuck” living with your mom. Consider refocusing your teaching experience by developing a course for community education classes in the evenings, for example.

Writing: How about taking your love of writing and looking into writing a column for a local newspaper or website while you’re waiting for opportunities to get your book published? Have you looked into self-publishing options?

My personal and professional experiences have taught me that, even when things don’t go as planned, no life experience is ever wasted. Many professional opportunities I’ve had have come through developing a network of personal and professional relationships that have opened up doors that I didn’t even know existed. As you expand social circles you’ll be developing key relationships that will likely open doors for you, too.

Thanks for writing in. Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

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August 17, 2011 0 comment

Job Burnout and My Employment

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker May 5th, 2019

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I’m an Air Force veteran… separated from service in ’95 honorably. Since ’95,I’ve been through 14 jobs all told (9 welding, 1 maintenance and 4 odd jobs for cash). I liked the Air Force(welding/machinist) job and a mining machinery job the best… I’ve been released from probation during the maintenance job and fired from a welding job two years ago over a dispute with the boss about timeliness/quality of my work(which he was becoming more critical about). Most jobs I’ve been laid off from; however three weeks ago I was laid off from my last job after an anger episode I displayed after a project I was working on needed rework when I made a mistake due to not understanding what was to be done.

My last boss and most of my supervisors agreed that I do good work overall (I hold a welding certificate from the state of Illinois and Missouri), but I’m feeling increasingly resentful towards my career field due to lack of work, layoffs,minimal pay/benefits when I’m working, ill equipped shops, a**hole type coworkers/supers at some jobs,etc. My wife is going through stressful times trying to help/care for her mother,who has some form of dementia and is uncooperative and combative in some instances… And our 16 year old son is having trouble in/with school.

All of this adds up to some hard times emotionally/mentally for me and all of us. I myself have noticed I’m getting a “shorter fuse” so to speak with my job issues.. and I don’t like it. I’m afraid I may already be unemployable since I’ve sent out over two dozen resumes/applications earlier this year and have attended six interviews with no results. Any and all words of wisdom,advice,recommendations,etc. will be much appreciated. Thanks for your help.

Yeah. Times are really hard for the trades. I do sympathize with how frustrating the job situation is. It also sounds like your house is becoming an emotional pressure-cooker. You’re angry. Your wife is stressed. Your son is having some troubles of his own. As tempting as it is to want to sink into a depression, it certainly won’t help. In fact, you’ll end up feeling even worse because then you’ll be depressed as well as jobless.

I have to tell you: 2 dozen resumes and 6 interviews is barely scratching the surface when it comes to serious job hunting. The rule of thumb is that unless you are making 2 contacts a day, you aren’t really looking. Finding a job is your job right now. That means dedicating at least 40 hours a week to the project by searching the job market, making personal contacts, arranging for informational interviews, and perhaps searching farther afield than you have been.

Or — maybe it’s time to retool. At only 45 years old, you have a whole career span (20+ years) available to you. If you go back to school to learn an additional skill set, you may make yourself more employable. If we were talking in my office, we would also start to brainstorm other job possibilities for you. Some jobs might be related to what you already do but I’d also encourage you to think about other options that you maybe never allowed yourself to think about before. If you’re on unemployment, there might be funding available for you to retool. As a vet, you may also have educational benefits coming to you. Do check with your local VA to see if they have career counseling or job placement counselors available.

We’re not done yet: I also hear you when you say that your “burnout” plus the home situation is resulting in a short fuse. It might be that you have more of a chip on your shoulder than you realize. People are surprisingly sensitive to when there is a powder keg in the room. It doesn’t make for good relationships with co-workers and bosses. An anger management group or a course in conflict resolution might give you some better tools for handling your frustration so you can be effective, not just angry. This would be helpful on the home front as well as on any job. Again, check with your local VA. They might be able to tell you where to get that kind of help.

I’m impressed that you wrote to us for suggestions. You are doing your best to take responsibility and to take charge of yourself. That takes some of the burden off your wife and it is a positive role model for your son.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

February 5, 2011 0 comment