Tag:

Euphoria

Please Help Me Find Out What’s Wrong with Me

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker May 22nd, 2023

From a 15 year old boy in Australia: Ever since I was a very small child I’ve felt disengaged from everyone else, as a 6-10 year old only having perhaps one real friend who I very rarely spent time with and many more friends that seemed very real to me but were in fact figments of my imagination I suppose. As well as this I spent most of my time reading. I think this may be built around the sexual abuse from an older boy who I thought I was one of my best friends, or my parents divorce. This has also affected my ability to trust people in my life now.

I no longer have problems with differentiating between real and not, but since the age of eleven I have been displaying other symptoms and such. I have little to no ability to concentrate on anything, my schoolwork is going progressively downhill, I’m almost permanently hyperactive, when I’m not hyperactive I lack in any energy whatsoever; falling asleep on my desk and staying in bed all day, on a normal school night i will get 4 hours of sleep,

I go from euphoric to depressive in the blink of an eye (eg. I will be acting like I on top of the world, jumping around, laughing yelling, and five minutes later I will be crying uncontrollably as I scream at myself in my head), I’m permanently irritable, I move in extremes, either moving incredibly slowly or moving overly fast. I never feel calm, I feel the need to be physically Self destructive,I find it hard to make friends and socialise, I make myself seem cold and emotionally devoid to those I am not close to. I have severe emotional breakdowns somewhat often, and I often find myself contemplating how much easier it would be to just die.

Im sorry if I haven’t given enough data but I would really appreciate having an idea of what’s wrong with me. Thanks

I’m very glad you wrote. I can’t, of course, provide a diagnosis on the basis of such a short letter. What I can do is strongly urge you to see a therapist who can do exactly that. You need a professional evaluation to determine if your symptoms are an outcome of trauma, a mental disorder or your sleep disorder. There are also signs that you should be evaluated for possibly being on the autism spectrum.

In my opinion, you have suffered much too long. You deserve the treatment that can help you settle down and live a happier and more constructive life. You deserve to feel better, to have friends and to get a good night’s sleep every night.

Treatment works! But treatment is only effective if it is targeted to what is wrong.

You made an important step toward health and well-being by writing to us here at LifeHelper. Now do the next step. Make an appointment, today if you can, with a therapist who specializes in teen issues. A therapist will be able to hear your entire story and then make both a diagnosis and a treatment plan. You have nothing to lose except a few hours of your time. You have everything to gain.

If you aren’t sure how to find a therapist, talk to your parents, your doctor, your school counselor or a teacher your trust. And do take your letter and this response with you to the first appointment. It will help you get started.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

May 22, 2023 0 comment

Should I See a Specialist?

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker August 31st, 2022

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Okay, I’ve been pretty sure that I’ve had some kind of psychological disorder for almost three years now, since I was 16. I haven’t been to a specialist as such because mental disorders aren’t something I can explain to my parents. Although now, I am looking at visiting one just to be sure. I just want to know what you guys think.

I have frequent feelings of euphoria and depression. These have varied extremely over the years. When I was around 16, they were incredible and unbearable, almost always following each other. At that point in my life, I was also very depressed and felt caged, thought I was bipolar. As I grew, they became more tangible and I was able to deal with them better after I’d left home and gone to college at the age of 18. I still feel them, and I feel as though I have no control over them, even as I try to emotionally streamline myself now. I used to feel desperation but lately I’ve grown very numb and my states oscillate between being incredibly euphoric or into plain nothingness, or pointlessness. My drive for life constantly fluctuates.

I have self harmed in the past, and had suicidal tendencies, that are recurrent even now. These tendencies however are mostly passive and I wouldn’t act on them. The need to self harm varies on the level of depression I feel.

I’ve greatly numbed myself and do not feel pain as vividly as I used to. Nothingness defines my depression. I feel alone and helpless and sometimes wake up in panic in the middle of the night unable to control it.

I have varied states of over-eating/sleeping and lack of sleep/appetite which are recurrent throughout ever 2 months nearly also accompanied by complete normal states

My states of high and low can last anywhere from 10 minutes to a few weeks. I do feel normal for periods in between, which can last even up to a couple weeks. When I feel normal, I feel fine and wonderful (not euphoric)

I used to have very low self esteem and my views of myself changed rapidly according to how I felt. I could feel worthless and dejected and then bounce to feeling invincible and wonderful. These feelings of low self worth have changed over the last month after I confronted my father about some underlying issues, and discovered the meaninglessness of life. I don’t think they are gone but rather that they are deeply imbedded but I don’t care about them anymore

I have used to have severe abandonment issues, but they have also changed over the course of the last 2 months, but this may also be due to the numbness I feel towards these issues. I have recently gone through some relationship troubles. I have very evident trust issues and do not trust nearly anyone.

Despite all of this, most days I am able to function properly and I am actually quite happy. I tend to become socially reclusive at times and this leads to either peaceful solitude or depression. At college, I have a bit of a reputation to be crazy and insane.

I feel reckless and impulsive at times. It makes me feel alive. I crave this feeling.

I have a horrible attention span. I can’t watch television shows and until recently found it really hard to finish a book (I used to be an avid reader when I was younger). I feel as though my thoughts are racing at times.

The mood swings tend to leave me quite exhausted. I do not let myself get close to people often, I think it may be because of abandonment fears. My relationships are quite stable even if my feelings towards a person may change continuously.

I develop very strong emotional relationships with people as compared to the norm, people trust me easily. I have been told continuously that I have a talent for empathy and understanding. I am aware of my emotional power over people and know I can get what I want out of them, but sometimes it happens unconsciously. Regardless, I actually do care about these people and have very strong morals when it comes to keeping their secrets. I do not use them.

I do not feel needy and clingy most of the time, but there are moments in between. I used to feel empty a lot. Now, I feel nothing or empowered.

I have a family history of depression, my cousin is diagnosed with it, and my aunt was.

There are times when I am very irritable and other times when my love for people and the world in general is undoubtable.

I felt unloved and neglected by my parents for the longest time. I got over it almost completely during the last 2 months. I also think I am numb to feeling that way now, I can’t even imagine it.

I deal with being alone really well. Most of the time I enjoy being alone, I enjoy solitude. Now and then, usually after some kind of trigger, I feel dejected.

I do not crave love or worldly attachments as far as I can understand. I crave passion and my common state is being fine and in love with the world and all of its mysteries

I used to be very sure this was borderline PD, but after looking through cyclothymia, I feel like this could be more apt as I do not feel empty or unloved or needy anymore and have states of being normal in between. Your thoughts?

I think you should go see that specialist. From your letter, I can’t tell if you are just a very passionate, sensitive teen who has been learning to manage her own feelings over the last few years or if there is something amiss.

People normally have highs and lows. The greatest artists and thinkers tend to experience them more intensely. Good therapists tune in to others and are able to still keep themselves in balance. Is that you? Or are you out of control? A counselor will be able to help you decide.

I do worry about the tendency these days to pathologize almost any feelings that are above or below neutral. It’s as if we’re all expected to be driving a car at one moderate speed all the time, regardless of the circumstances — never fast, never slow. It would be boring and at times dangerous. It’s more sensible to learn to drive the car (or your feelings) according to the situation.

So I think you should get your question settled so you can relax about yourself. A mental health counselor will be able to hear your entire story and discuss your history thoroughly with you. A good place to start would be with your letter and this response.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

August 31, 2022 0 comment

Define Bipolar Spectrum?

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW May 3rd, 2021

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I have suffered with depression a lot in my life. I have been on and off meds and it keeps coming back. I told my family doc and she tried different meds and still it seemed to work for about a month and then nothing. She put me on the maximum amount of wellbutrin (450mg) and .5mg klonapin and said she thinks I need a mood stabilizer so I contacted a psychiatry practice to try and understand this more.

I have horrible mood swings, I get irritated very easily. I start the day feel great, I get my cleaning done, play with my kids and then i start to get irritable and depressed which just leads to more irribility and frustration because i can’t stop feeling angry and depressed.

My doc appt yesterday i reviewed my family and self history. It was extremely difficult to talk about everything but i told her that i go between depression, irribility, anger, anxiety to feeling like i can take on anything (more creative/clear thoughts).

She told me i definitely fall somewhere on the bipolar spectrum but never explained that. What does “falling on the bipolar spectrum actually mean?” Does it mean I am actually bipolar? What is the bipolar spectrum?

Your doctor may have used the phrase “bipolar spectrum” because she believes that you have bipolar disorder but is not sure which type. The three main types include bipolar I disorder, bipolar II and cyclothymic disorder. Bipolar I is considered the most severe and cyclothymic disorder, the least severe.

Individuals who have bipolar I disorder experience episodes of mania. People with mania feel euphoria, grandiosity and emotionally “high.” They can also feel irritable. Their mood shifts rapidly. They can feel euphoric one moment and then quickly feel depressed and angry. Their behavior is erratic and they often behave in irresponsible ways. Psychosis can also be present.

Individuals who are diagnosed with bipolar II also experience mood instability but not to the same degree that occurs with bipolar I disorder. Typically, more depressive symptoms are present than hypomania symptoms.

Cyclothymic disorder is a chronic mood disorder that is present for at least two years. Like bipolar I and bipolar II, it is characterized by fluctuating mood disturbances and hypomania but the symptoms are less severe and less frequent. Many consider it a milder form of bipolar disorder.

You take medication for your symptoms but that is not enough. Psychotherapy is an important treatment for mood disorders. Medication can stabilize your symptoms but psychotherapy allows you to address the underlying problem. You found it difficult to detail your family and self-history which tells me that you have yet to address the emotional pain that may be at the heart of some of your symptoms.

I would recommend psychotherapy. Please consider it. Comprehensive psychological treatment involves both psychotherapy and medication. I wish you the best of luck.

Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice Blog

May 3, 2021 0 comment

What Might Be Causing New Onset Of Delusions?

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW August 3rd, 2019

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

The past few months I have started to have mild delusions. The first that I can recall is the most frightening experience I can recall. I raced from one paranoid thought to another, lost control of my movement frozen in place but jerking my head around rapidly and hearing myself making a sound between a scream and a groan, and this felt like it would never end.

That was the most extreme though. Since then I have had one case that I was certain a shirt and empty plastic bag was a brick of marijuana that someone had made me hold on to and panicked that I would be found out by family or authorities. I can’t be sure if some other episodes have been a delusion or real. I have also had other occasions where it feels like part of my body is slipping and I can’t control it.

I have also been experiencing a new level of paranoia. Sometimes this lasts for a few minutes and sometimes for a few hours. I will be in complete despair or fright about family or an attacker. (possibly made worse when a man followed me noticeably in his truck as I walked unprotected for 20-30 min before I got help recently)

For some background…I was suicidal as a young teenager, but haven’t been in years.
A few years ago I displayed some disordered eating, but do not believe this lasted long enough to signify an eating disorder.

I have recently wondered if I am bipolar also because I seem to experience a roller coaster of despair and not wanting to talk to anyone or thinking I have no one to turn to, to suddenly feeling fine or even a rush of euphoria that I believe interfered with my school work.

Sometimes I feel like I just need to get drunk, but I rarely drink. I also may be struggling to cope without the aid of a drug, but I don’t believe I was truly addicted so I am unsure about this.

I had a brain tumor removed at age 6 somewhere around my spatial center, but have not had problems since, however it has recently been suggested that I may have some lingering side effects that have to do with my sense of direction.

I don’t even know where to start, what direction to look in, or how to communicate to a doctor.

The best place to begin is to make an appointment with your primary care physician (PCP). It is important to rule out a medical explanation, especially because you have a history of a brain tumor. As you mentioned, some of your symptoms may be attributable to the lingering effects of the brain tumor.

When you visit the PCP, provide a detailed report of your medical and psychiatric history. Also report your current set of symptoms. The more detailed you are about that information, the easier it will be for the doctor to assist you. You were very detailed in your letter. It might help to bring the letter to the appointment. Prior to the appointment, prepare a list of your symptoms and the questions that you have. Having a list ensures that you won’t forget important details.

Your PCP may suggest that you undergo a variety of medical tests. He or she may also refer you to a psychiatrist, a neurologist and a psychotherapist for additional tests or evaluations.

You alluded to the fact that you are either currently using drugs or you have a history of using drugs. I am not sure if you were referring to prescription drugs or to illegal drugs. Illicit drug use can exacerbate and in some cases lead to the development of psychiatric symptoms. It is important that your doctor is aware of all past or present drug use. You may not want to reveal that type of information to your doctor but missing facts can result in an inaccurate diagnosis and subsequently, an inappropriate plan for treatment.

It is important that you are evaluated as soon as possible. Start with your PCP. I hope this answer helps you to know how to proceed. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

August 21, 2011 0 comment