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Might I Have A Mental Problem?

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW February 24th, 2023

I was wondering if i might have a mental disorder. people have described me as being cold hearted, and socially retard. I dont have friends and i havent had one for years, I have a group of friends when i was in elementary school, and then when i went to middle school that group shrank and then in high school i had no friends just a couple of people i just talked to, I get anxious when im in public ( walking fast), I always get paranoid when people just start laughing or giggling around me, i think that they are talking about me. Iv thought of suicide before and tried it once but couldnt go through with it that was a few years ago i still think about suicide on a weekly basis’s it seems. I used to be really quite around people and kind of forced my self out of my shell but it seems that i still cant form any form of meaningful connection with anyone, when ever i talk with someone i have trouble collecting my thoughts and at times people have trouble seeing my logic, when ever i talk with someone i always lose get bored and lose interest with the person, and what bothers me is not the fact that i dont have friends but that i cant seem to “fit” in. I went to college for a year but droped out, i was bored and uninterested, then i joined the military, i dont hate my job but i also dont enjoy it, i feel as if i should be doing something greater with my life i want to do something with my life, that very few people can say they have done. The only time i feel happy is when I’m in the ring fighting someone. Theres a lot more i could write but the question is might there be something mentally wrong with me or am i just being paranoid?

Diagnosis over the Internet is difficult. I cannot say with certainty whether or not you have a particular diagnosis but there are several symptoms that would be indicative of a problem, including: anxiety, believing that others are talking about you, difficulty making a connection with others, and suicidal thinking. Those may be symptoms of a specific mental health diagnosis including, though not limited to, depression, anxiety disorder, or personality disorder.

Another possibility exists. You may not have a diagnosable mental health disorder but rather are feeling an overall dissatisfaction with your life. You feel that you “should be doing something greater” with your life. That statement supports the assertion that you are experiencing a general dissatisfaction with your life. At some level, you may feel that you are capable of more than you currently have achieved.

My recommendation is to have a psychological evaluation. An evaluation would be advantageous for several reasons. One reason is that the clinician can gather many more details about your life and history and make an objective determination regarding a mental health diagnosis. Secondly, he or she could provide a referral to the appropriate treatment provider, if necessary. Finally, the clinician can answer any specific questions that you have regarding your symptoms. The find help tab, the top of this page, can help you to locate a mental health professional in your community. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle
@DrKRandle

February 24, 2023 0 comment

How Do I Stop Fighting with My Parents?

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker November 7th, 2022

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Up until recently, I’ve had a great relationship with my parents. I’m currently in my last year of university, and I’m trying to figure out what the next step in my life will be. I have applied to graduate school and have been accepted at one school and wait-listed at a second. I realized during the application process that the school that has accepted me is not a good fit for my personality or my academic and career goals. I’m not certain that a PhD program is what I want anymore, anyway–especially at a university that I’m not too keen on in the first place.

A lot has changed in my life lately, and I’ve recently returned from studying abroad and realized that there many more opportunities and avenues to pursue than I’d originally imagined. I’ve tried discussing these concerns with my parents, but whenever I do they either tell me to just go to grad school as planned, or they get scared that I’m throwing away an opportunity and will end up doing something that will screw up my life forever, which inevitably ends up in a long argument that leaves everyone angry.

I told my mother the other day that all I want is for them to trust that I will make informed decisions, follow my heart, and learn from any mistakes that I make. I understand that they want nothing less than the best for me, but over the years I’ve come to see that there are things about me that they will never understand because they’ve never experienced what I have. I’ve studied in a foreign country and have been abroad several times since I was a teenager; they’ve never left the United States. I’m trilingual, but they only speak English. I’m majoring in the sciences, but they’ve never set foot in a lab.

I’ve never disagreed with my parents over something this major before–even when I was in junior high and high school, we got along very well. Am I being immature or short-sighted for not wanting to go to a graduate school that I feel is not right for me? (For the record, I’m going to follow up my applications at the other universities I’ve applied to and seeing what happens there. Also, we’ve agreed from day 1 that they will not be paying for my graduate education–I will). I feel terrible knowing that I’ve scared and upset my parents, but I also know that I’m an adult and I need to what I feel is right for me and to accept the consequences of my choices. I want to have a good relationship with my parents, so what can I do to fix this?

Congratulations on your considerable achievements. From what you say, you are making some very mature and reasonable decisions about the direction you want to take. You’re probably right that your parents are frightened for you. The economy stinks. You have what seems to be a sure thing in the acceptance. They saw smooth sailing ahead for you and now you’re making waves.

But here’s the thing: At some point, every young adult has to separate in order to become a full adult. Sadly, that separation often seems to have to be done in anger. It doesn’t. You are not separating from loving your parents. You have no desire to drive a wedge that will be permanent. What you do want to do is to claim your own path. Since you are paying for your own graduate education, you do have the right and the responsibility to choose for yourself.

You can’t fix the conflict. But you can fix the anger. Stop arguing. Arguing gives the impression that you can be talked or argued out of a decision. Instead, emphasize that you love them very much and wish they’d give you their blessing. But be clear that your decision about what you study and the career you choose is yours to make. If your folks invite you to fight about it, simply restate that you love them and that you know they want the best for you but that you are clear about what you are going to do. Then change the subject to something you all enjoy. Be sure to express your appreciation to them for raising you to be the kind of person who has had the courage to travel abroad, the dedication to do so well academically, and the appreciation for the importance of family. They’ve raised you well but now it’s time for you to take on responsibility for yourself.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

November 7, 2022 0 comment

Am I Normal or Not?

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker August 30th, 2022

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I have thought maybe I would classify under ultradian/rapid cycle bipolar because my father, grandmother and great-grandfather suffered from bpd and my moods change over the course of hours to a couple of days at most. However I don’t really suffer through “manic” episodes, it changes between “depressed” and “normal”. My “depressed” moments go from being exhausted for no reason, just being.. “done”, being upset that my life will never be as happy as when I was younger, and thinking that the future is pointless because I’ll be in school for 5 years, work through my whole life, then die. But sometimes I seem to “get over” these phases for a couple of hours/days in which I consider my mood to be “normal” and then it repeats. I have not seriously considered suicide, but recently I don’t even want to risk putting myself in a tempting situation.. Would rapidly switching between “normal” and this kind of “depression” be a certain illness?

I am also slightly sceptical though because my mother has always been worried I will inherit the bpd gene so anytime when I was just sad as a younger teen she was worried that I was going through a depression phase. I am wondering if I’m just convincing myself that there’s something wrong with me, when there’s nothing (even though I would NEVER wish for myself or anyone else to experience mental illness)? I don’t know what to do because I feel like even if I go to the Dr, I can answer the questions the “right way” and it may not be accurate. For example, if I am convincing myself I have an illness I’ll answer the questions in a way that will “confirm” it, or if I’m convincing myself it’s all in my head I’ll answer the questions in a way that will “deny” any illness.. I’m confusing myself and I don’t know whether these thoughts would contribute to my “symptoms” or not….. I don’t really know what I’m doing or what I’m looking for from you guys…. I just don’t know.

I’m sorry for my weird thought process, if it doesn’t make sense to me I can’t assume it would make sense to you, but thank you for your time either way. All the best.

There is no need to apologize for yourself. You are asking very, very good questions.

First, there are two types of bipolar disorder. Cycling between depression and “normal” is Bipolar II. People who have also had at least one episode of mania are diagnosed with bipolar I. So, if you have bipolar at all, it’s likely that it’s bpII.

However, you ask another really good question: Is it at all likely that you have been made so hypersensitive to the possibility that you have bipolar that you are mistaking normal adolescent hormonal changes and emotional growth for a disorder? I can’t answer that question on the basis of a letter. What I can do is suggest that you make an appointment with a mental health professional and take your letter with you to the first session. Your letter describes the situation very well. Asking the counselor to read it first thing will help her understand your confusion. The counselor will then be able to ask you questions that will help determine what’s going on.

I do think that settling the question will be helpful to you. You don’t want to be constantly second-guessing yourself or worrying about yourself every time you have a sad feeling. On the other hand, if you do have bipolar II, you may want to consider some treatment so that you can manage it effectively. It doesn’t have to dominate your life.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

August 30, 2022 0 comment

Can I change who I am?

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker July 25th, 2022

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

For so long I’ve really felt like I couldn’t define myself, and it contributed to depersonalization and other problems. Now looking at it I see it’s not that i can’t define myself, it’s that my definition of myself is the opposite of what i want to be. I am cautious, yet want to be adventurous, anxious, yet want to be mellow, inflexible while wanting to be adaptive, realistic while wanting the ambition realism cannot support, isolative and self-supporting while I’d rather be reliant on people if it meant I would be social, and more. I know who I am, and I know who I want to be, but the only things left uncontradicted are not any thing important. Can I change who I am to fit how I want to be, and if so, please aid me with a detailed description of how it is even possible. I really need this. If it means anything, self esteem also plays a big part.

You’ve clearly given this a lot of thought. Good for you! All things are possible — including reinventing yourself. I can’t give you a full program in a forum like this one but I can give you a few ways to get started.

Don’t underestimate the things you think are unimportant. Everyone has to start somewhere. The qualities that are solid (what you called “uncontradictable”) form a base to work from. They may seem minor to you but they do provide a foundation for what you build next.
Do work on that self-esteem. It’s hard to do a self-improvement program if you don’t appreciate your own good qualities. I suggest you find at least a couple things each day to appreciate about yourself. Positives produce more positives. It’s a fact. In our article 6 Tips to Improve Your Self-Esteem we state, “Boiled down to its simplicity, self-esteem simply means appreciating yourself for who you are — faults, foibles and all. It seems like other cultures don’t grapple with self-esteem as much as Americans do, perhaps because of the emphasis we seem to put on materialistic indicators of self-worth (like what kind of car you drive, what school your kids attend, what your grades are, how big a house you have, or what your title is at work). The difference between someone with a healthy or good self-esteem and someone who doesn’t isn’t ability, per se. It’s simply acknowledgement of your strengths and weaknesses, and moving through the world safe in that knowledge.”
Choose the two or three changes you want most to make. Think hard about what someone would be like who has those qualities. Picture yourself doing them. Picture it in detail. Would you stand, sit, or walk differently? Would you change anything about the way you dress or present yourself in the world? Would you need to know more about something? Got the picture? Now – act as if you were already there. Do it as much as you can for at least three weeks, maybe four. This is like trying on a new pair of jeans to see if they fit. Act “as if” until you either feel comfortable in the new role or you decide that maybe it isn’t what you had in mind after all.

In case you’re skeptical: These things really do work. Give it a try.

If you don’t have a good support system, you might also want to get into therapy for awhile in order to have someone in your corner to talk to and to get feedback from. It never hurts to have some unqualified support when we’re trying to do something challenging.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

July 25, 2022 0 comment

I love my ex-counsellor and miss her deeply

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker January 4th, 2020

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I had been seeing a counsellor for social anxiety who was on a placement at a practice that is local to me. One of the reasons that I feel anxious socially is because I feel that I don’t fit in. I am not attracted to girls the same age as me as they all seem to spend their time boozing and smoking on street corners and they dress as if they have no self-dignity, for example wearing mini-skirts that more closely resemble belts.

My counsellor wasn’t much older than me and she was so helpful, sweet, beautiful, feminine and I loved the way that she dressed. I also felt improvement week after week whilst seeing her. Because of these things I developed feelings for her and fell in love with her.

One day she told me that her placement was up and she could no longer see me. This news absolutely devastated me.

I have seen two counsellors since she left but I don’t feel the same changes being made that I did under her. I still see a counsellor and she is helping me but just not to the same extent that I felt under my previous counsellor.

In some ways it feels worse than losing somebody close to you to death because you usually have something to remember them by. If I had a photograph I would find things so much easier.

She has inspired me so much but I just wish that I could see her again…

It doesn’t surprise me that you developed such strong feelings for your counselor. Not only did she give you some good help but she closely matched the kind of woman you are looking for: intelligent, sympathetic, professional, adult. Ideally, you would have had time to work through your feelings for her while you were still working with her. That not being the case, the best compliment you can give her is to use all you learned.

It also doesn’t surprise me that you aren’t making changes at the same pace you did with your former counselor. The most change in therapy usually happens in the first few months. After that, it’s a slower, incremental process. You got that first burst of help with your first counselor. That doesn’t mean that she was better than the therapist you are now seeing, just that she was the one who launched you in your healing.

I encourage you to talk with your current counselor about how to meet women who are more compatible with your intelligence and maturity. I assure you, all women in their twenties are not party animals. Most are in fact getting on with adult life. That means they have started their careers, dress professionally, and are more interested in good conversation and sharing interesting activities than in drinking too much and flirting in a bar. Expand your world beyond the university. Volunteer at an organization that does good work or get a part-time job where there are people your age who are interested in the same things.

I’m very glad you had such a positive experience with your former counselor. Please take it as the gift it was and keep up the good work she helped you start. She did her job. Now it’s your turn to do yours.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

October 17, 2011 0 comment

Approaching the Psychiatrist

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW December 11th, 2019

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Hi, I came across your website and answered articles when I was searching for a way to talk to my doctor about add. I’m 20 and I’ve made the appointment on my own. I have issues with my mom who says I am being dramatic over this. I constantly have negative thoughts about my body image and when I get very overwhelmed I fall into a pattern of binging and purging. I have a short temper, cant take being yelled at. When I was in high school I would restrict with food and was always thin looking back I wish I had spoken up. Now I catch myself over eating when I’m stressed, I am always stressed. I can’t focus at work and I work 2 days a week at a great internship, I actually do things and everyone is so nice but I can’t focus to do computer work. I find myself not being able to account for time. On the days I don’t work I could stay in bed the whole time. The morning is afternoon before I know it. I am very motivated and always have a list of things to do but it takes me forever to get out of the house. Schoolwork is very difficult even with my phone turned off and no distractions. I am going into my junior year of college and this past year was very hard. My mom told me I was distracted and having too much fun. I have to put in more work then everyone else and its extremely stressful because I not partying or watching TV I just cant focus and get the information in. it is so frustrating. My boyfriend has adhd and he brought up researching add, maybe this is bad, I am not saying I have add but I fit some of the symptoms, honestly I’m looking for guidance. I went to a regular doctor because I am not too old for a pediatrician and I am not sick, I do not have mono but I did end up crying for no reason during the appointment so I walked out of my physical with a clean bill of health but with an anxiety/panic coping packet. I have a short temper and find myself picking out little things during important talks that set me off and I look back realizing I was off in my thinking. I don’t know what to do, there are many factors playing into this but I have an appointment with a psychiatrist and I am afraid of not knowing what to say. When I told my parents how I felt I was shot down, and when I told my doctor that I had met once I was given an anxiety packet. I read through ways to cope and holding my breath for 5 seconds doesn’t take the edge off being mad. I have always screamed and raised my voice and fought and when I try to hold it in I end up crying for no reason. I’m not sure where I’m going wrong or where to turn.

Going to the psychiatrist is a great place to start. When you speak to the psychiatrist, inform him or her of the symptoms you mentioned above, which include:

difficulty concentrating;
difficulty accounting for time/losing track of time;
bingeing and purging;
depression;
high stress levels;
short temper;
highly sensitive;
crying spells; and
negative thinking.

Be very specific about your symptoms. I would encourage you to see both a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. A psychiatrist can prescribe medication to improve your symptoms. Psychotherapists utilize talk therapy. Both types of treatment are usually indicated for the majority of mental health problems.

You believe that you may have ADD. You may have some of the symptoms of ADD but not all of yours match. Bingeing and purging are associated with eating disorders. Sometimes, when an individual feels highly stressed or out of control, they engage in bingeing and purging behaviors as an attempt to gain some level of control. Their attempt does not provide them the relief that they want. In other words, bingeing and purging simply doesn’t work. Instead, bingeing and purging are very dangerous behaviors that significantly damage the body.

You also might be exhibiting signs of depression including: negative thinking, short temper, crying spells, and hypersensitivity. It is difficult to know with certainty what diagnosis you might have, which is why it is important to have a psychological evaluation from a mental health professional.

To summarize, report your symptoms to your psychiatrist and inquire about a referral to a psychotherapist. When you meet with them, report all of your symptoms and be very detailed. The more information you can provide, the better they will be able to assist you. Bring a list. Hopefully, they will then devise an appropriate and comprehensive treatment plan. I hope this helps you know how best to proceed.

I am very encouraged by the fact that you are willing to return to the doctor. This time, be certain to be as specific, as detailed as possible and ask for referrals. This is one way to ensure you will get the help that you desire.

If you have any additional questions, please do not hesitate to write again. I wish you the best of luck. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

July 25, 2011 0 comment

I don’t fit anywhere

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker September 17th, 2019

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

(forgive me for the spelling, english is not my first language) I come from a good family, I have always been successfull at school, sports and verry popular with girls (although i had no interest in them). I grew up with everything i needed to be happy. However, I have never felt close to anyone. I have been in contact with a lot of nice people in my life, some that i can call friends, but i never felt at ease with them. My parents told me recently that when i was verry young I was always playing alone, even when other children were around. I don’t know why, but I have never felt comfortable with people, and with the world around me.

I have recently told my family that i was gay (a thing that i always knew inside of me). Everything was ok with them, they love me for what I am. I tought it would be good for me to say it, but everything is worst with me now. I have lost even more interest in people around me. I DEEPLY HATE the way the world is working, I have lost all interest in school, sports and most of my remaning ‘friends’. I wake up at noon every day, wishing I could fall back to sleep and stay in my dreams. I can’t sleep at night because I end up crying in my bed asking why did I end up like that. I don’t even know what I like anymore. I would rather throw up than go to work. I want to find another job or study another subject, but the more I think about it i just find out that I really have no interest in anything. I just feel like I am body without a soul.

I have always been alone, I have everything to be happy but I can say that I have never been in my entire life, and now I can’t see any future for me. I tought I might be depressive or something, but I am not sure. I have always been like that, things just got worst throught my life. I don’t think a pill or a treatment will make me like this world or people around me.

Am I normal?

Yeah. I think you’re a normal guy going through a real hard time. On the one hand, it feels good to be “out” to family who love you for you. On the other hand, you know that the world at large still has a ways to go before sexual orientation is a non-issue. Your emotional state makes complete sense to me. It sounds to me like you need some mentors who can help you figure out how to be truly yourself and live happily with others.

You are lucky to live in a city that has an organization that can offer the support and practical help you need. Contact the Canadian Association for Education and Outreach. Among other services they offer is GayLine at 514-866-5090. From their website: “Our mission is to provide a high quality free and confidential help and information telephone service in English for gender and/or sexual minorities. ” They talk to people about issues like these:

Coming to terms with your sexual orientation
Coming out to friends and family
Dealing with loneliness
Problems finding lovers and friends
Contemplating suicide
Discovering that your child, partner or friend is gay
Getting information about safer sex and AIDS
Working out problems in your relationship
Surviving conjugal violence
Handling discrimination and violence related to homophobia

You made an important first step in contacting us here at LifeHelper. Please find the strength to make a call.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

July 5, 2011 0 comment

I’m in love but lost my libido

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker April 18th, 2019

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I have been in a relationship for almost 5 months now with someone I’ve known previously for about a year and a half. The relationship itself has been going great and I really think I am in love, however lately, I am feeling completely devoid of my libido. I am attracted to my partner but the attraction is not translating into sexual desire anymore. This has been a pretty recent thing (2 weeks or so) but it has been almost impossible for me to even have sex because i practically physically reject it. There are stress factors in my life right now, but I’ve been stressed before and its never had this drastic effect on me physically. I’m trying to figure out if I’m loosing sexual desire for my partner as we get more and more comfortable together or if its just something with me (which I feel is more likely because until recently I’ve always been crazy attracted to him). I still enjoy spending time with him, but I really want to get the sex back, it was a great part of our relationship and something I personally enjoyed.

It’s certainly possible that this is about the stresses in your life. Sex may feel like one more demand on an already overloaded system. You may be wanting comforting and quiet reassurance more than the excitement and intensity of sex while you are sorting out other issues.

However, it may also be that you’ve hit a decision point in your relationship. Somewhere around 3 – 6 months into a relationship, people start asking themselves if this is a relationship that will last. Once the glow of newness has slowed down some, we take another look at the person we’re with and make another assessment about our readiness to commit. Sometimes people do this consciously. Sometimes it’s the unconscious that does the work. If this isn’t about your stress, it may be you are sensing that you’re not really ready to settle down or that there is something not quite right about the fit between you.

I suspect that a factor that makes it harder for you to do this reevaluation on a conscious level is that the two of you knew each other before you became a couple. You may think that you already knew what you needed to know and that there’s something wrong with you if you find something lacking now. That’s not necessarily true. Sometimes people love each other in a friend or almost sibling-like way; not in a committed lover-type way. The relationship is in fact loving, caring, and supportive but it’s not sexual. Maybe you tried out whether this friendship could be taken to the next level and have found that it can’t. If that’s the case, I hope you both can back off and still care for each other. Good friends are hard to find. There’s no need to lose a friend just because you don’t have the chemistry of lovers. I know it’s not always possible to mutually decide to put the brakes on but it’s worth a try.

Then again, if you’re not ready to commit to one person (and at only 25, that may be the case), then it’s only fair to tell your partner so. If he can agree that you two can enjoy each other without implying that you are getting ready for long-term commmitment, it might work. Or – if he’s the marrying kind – he might decide to move on.

I’m sorry not to be able to give you a definite answer to your question. I hope, though, that I’ve given you some useful things to think about.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

May 19, 2011 0 comment

I’m Depressed and No One Knows

by Julie Hanks, MSW, LCSW December 2nd, 2019

written by Julie Hanks, MSW, LCSW

First off I would like to thank you for taking the time out to help me. But the problem is I’m depressed but nobody knows it. Half the reason I am is because I have no really close friends to hang out with or etc. While everybody is usually going to the movies, the beach, or somewhere fun I’m at home. My mother has started to notice it, she always suggests I hangout with my friends but truth is I don’t have the heart to tell her I don’t really have any. It started at the age of 11 when I started to notice I didn’t have a lot of friends like all the other kids did.

I have tried on several attempts to makes friends, but all miserably failed. I try not to be clingy or to appear desperate. I think I have been cursed not to have any friends and it kills me every single day. I don’t wanna go talk to a counselor in person, it makes me feel even more abnormal. And I don’t wanna tell my parents because they’ll feel bad for me and I hate it when people feel sympathy for me.

I’m just tired of feeling so alone all the time, I mean it used to not bother me as bad but now that I’m getting older it really has taken a toll on me. I just wish I had somebody to talk to, or to share my feelings with. I’ve tried to make friends before but I’m probably what you could call a “outcast” I don’t really fit in and it really does bug me.

Another reason why I’m depressed is I get made fun of a lot. Every time I got to school I get called fat, ugly, pig, horse face, I know I shouldn’t let it bother me but it does. It gets so bad sometimes that I feel like just running to the bathroom and cry my eyes out. Getting made fun of has really taken a toll on my confidence as well. I used to be really confident now I can’t even stand looking at myself in the mirror.

Another thing is I always compare myself to my cousins. I mean I’m the youngest of the family. All of my cousins are gorgeous, have an abundance of friends. They always have someone took talk to. They don’t know it but their the only ones I hang out with. I haven’t been to an actual friends house in over a year. Which is pretty bad if your my age. I just wish I could be happy and perfect like they are.

Thank you for listening and really do hope you respond, because the truth is this is my only hope. And again thank you for taking the time out to read my “story”.

Thanks for reaching out for help so you can start to feel better. It is painful, especially during the teen years, to be excluded from peers and to feel on the outside of social events. I feel bad that you’ve been so mistreated by your peers. No one deserves to be bullied, made fun of and tormented, including you. If this is happening at school, please reach out to a counselor or administrator so they can help put a stop to this cruel behavior and make sure that they keep your identity private so you don’t have to suffer retaliation from peers. Their behavior is unacceptable.

I’m curious about your comment, “I hate it when people have sympathy for me.” Sympathy and empathy are ways that people express love and concern for you, which is what we all ultimately want and need. I know it feels like a huge risk, but the only way to help the loneliness is to let someone in and share your painful feelings with — your parents, or a trusted teacher or school counselor. Please let someone know how down and alone you feel. Please talk to your parents about your depression and ask them for help in finding a counselor in your area who works with adolescents. Also, your parents or counselor can help you find an adolescent therapy group to help you practice relating to peers in positive ways, help you understand why relationships are so difficult for you, and develop the skills to build and maintain strong friendships.

It’s hard to believe, but your life can get better and you can have meaningful relationships, but the first step is to let someone in your life know about your pain and ask them for help.

Take good care of yourself.

Julie Hanks, LCSW

March 16, 2011 0 comment