Human Beings Archives

I know most people think this is stupid but I am really serious with my girlfriend and we have alot of fun together an we are so In love. we r in high school but next year we graduate and we want to move in together. the problem is her parents are ridiculous. they are terrible human beings. we had sex and they got mad at her even tho we were completely safe and we have been together a long time now. they want her to break up with me even tho we have Both improved each others life so much and they threaten to make her transfer schools and she is so scared. her parents don\’t treat her well mine aren\’t the greatest but I\’m worried about her. once her mom even told her that she hates her and that made me so angry. her brother who graduated a while ago really enjoys us as a couple and has no idea about the situation with his mom. he does know we had sex but is totally fine. I know most people think that my problem is stupid and say it’s just a high school relationships but it’s not. I feel something with her and she\’s the only thing that makes me truly happy and we are scared and confused. if u could help me It would mean alot. I know u can\’t solve this problem but I just need support I need someone to tell me our life gets better thank you

Being protective of their daughter doesn’t make her parents terrible people. On the other hand, it’s not okay for a mom to tell her daughter that she hates her. It sounds like everyone is upset and may be saying things they regret.

I know it may seem romantic to be in an “us against them” relationship but that seldom works out. Romeo and Juliet were teens whose parents disapproved and we all know how that turned out!

If you want to help settle things down, you need to find a way to forge a respectful relationship with your girlfriend’s parents. That means getting to know them as people and finding ways for them to get to know you. Her parents don’t know about the wonderful qualities that your girlfriend sees. They only see a guy who wants sex with their daughter.

It might help if you and your girlfriend talked with them about how you’ve improved each other’s lives and what you hope for in the future. Show her folks that you are a substantial person. That means doing well in school, maybe having a responsible job or doing some volunteer work, and working toward goals for a good life. They may never agree that it’s okay to have sex outside of marriage but they may be able to accept you being in her life if they see you as a responsible and mature young adult.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

My life at home is really really stressful and my relationship with two out of three siblings is TERRIBLE. School is a pain and I hate to admit that I actually feel SCARED to go most of the time or even think about it because I’m just feeling so confused about it and all the amount of work that I have to do for it is daunting. I also have AP exams and school exams coming up soon and am feeling totally lost about it all so the stress in that particular area of my life is seriously mounting. Friends? Lets just not get into that. I can’t sleep either and am getting five or so hours a day lately.

I feel like complete and utter crap most of the time and I really want to stop feeling like this nearly 24/7 but I don’t want to TELL anyone including friends or parents that I’m having such a hard time. Call it a pride thing, be being stubborn, or just plain stupid. I honestly don’t care. I just want to fix this problem on my own but I don’t know how.

OK. You have already made the important first step of admitting there is a problem. The first thing you can do on your own to make yourself feel better is to work on your sleep. Human beings, especially adolescent human beings, are not wired to function on only five or so hours a night. You really need more like 8. Read up on how to turn your sleep around. Set up a schedule. Make sure to get all stressful things done and out of the way long before bedtime. Don’t drink coffee or caffeinated soda after lunch. Get some exercise in every day. Give it an honest try for at least a week. If it doesn’t iimprove at all, that it could be that the sleeplessness is a symptom of depression. But my first guess is that it’s a bad habit. Let’s at least start there.

Next, have a serious talk with yourself about whether you really want and need to do AP work in all your classes. Are they required for your eventual goals or have you gotten caught up in something that really isn’t necessary? I know this is heretical talk in some circles but it isn’t necessary to have straight As and all AP courses to get into many very good colleges. Admissions officers are looking for people who do other things besides studying all the time. Have a clear discussion with your guidance counselor about how to reduce your stress.

Still feeling terrible? Get a checkup if you haven’t already. There are many medical problems that show up with the same symptoms as depression. You may have a vitamin deficiency, for example.

Still no good? Sigh. Now you have to rethink your position about not telling anyone. Ask your doctor if she or he has a suggestion for someone to talk to who has experience working with teens and their families. In the meantime, you can try using the Boys and Girls Town hotlline as a place where you can remain anonymous but still get some support and practical help with your problems. Their number is 800-448-3000.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Human Beings

Parents Upset We Had Sex

How are you supposed to stop feeling so depressed if you don’t want to go to/tell anyone?