Tag:

Irrational Fear

Fear of Developing Schizophrenia Due to Genetic Risk and Environmental Factors

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW March 28th, 2022

My oldest brother was recently diagnosed with schizophrenia in the last year and has been decompensating very quickly. I also have a maternal grandmother who had the disorder as well.

I am a counseling graduate student and have knowledge on the risk factors of developing the illness myself. I know that I have about a 10% risk, genetically speaking but I know there are environmental factors, too.

I recently read literature on a toxin called Toxoplasmosis that you can get from cat feces and that it can increased your risk x2-3. This is worrying me as I have lived with cats all of my life. I know that others things such as substance use and stress can impact your developing of the illness. I have had a great deal of stress in my life and have used substances socially throughout college.

Needless to say I am very worried about developing schizophrenia. I know that the onset for women isn’t until late 20’s early 30s and I am only 23 right now, so I’ve got a ways to go. This gives me great anxiety as there is so much uncertainty as to if I will develop schizophrenia or not.

I have been obsessing over this fear and cannot seem to get it out of my mind. I see a counselor weekly who has reassured me that I would be showing early signs by now and that I’ve got nothing to worry about. But of course, the anxious mind continues to worry.

I am in desperate need of some guidance as to where to go from here as I am starting to drive myself insane with this fear.

Fear feeds on illogical thinking. Anxiety disorders thrive because illogical thoughts are entertained as real possibilities. That means they are given more weight than they deserve. That seems to be happening with you.

Your stated anxiety level would suggest that you believe that there is a high probability of developing schizophrenia but that is not true. You presented nothing beyond general facts and assumptions as your evidence to suggest that you will develop the disease. Thus, you have presented no convincing evidence to suggest that your level of anxiety is warranted.

Generally speaking, you have a slightly higher risk of developing schizophrenia because of genetics but that in no way means that you will get it. Most people who have a family member with schizophrenia don’t develop the disease. You’re making assumptions that have no basis in fact. Fear seems to be guiding your thinking.

The fact that you are in graduate school and seemingly have no symptoms of the disorder are both very good signs. If you were to study the lives of the people who have schizophrenia, there are often early warning signs. Case studies have shown this to be true.

In general, your anxiety level should match the likelihood of your developing the disease. Your likelihood of developing schizophrenia is only slightly higher than what it is for the average person and in that case, your anxiety level should be very low.

It is important to believe what is true and not what you fear to be true. The key to overcoming anxiety is to believe in reality and in facts. Focusing on what is real will help you to stay grounded and to not become overwhelmed with anxiety. Hopefully, those are the types of discussions you are having in therapy. Thank you for your question.

Dr. Kristina Randle

March 28, 2022 0 comment

Social Anxiety Disorder?

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW February 24th, 2022

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I show a lot of signs of different disorders, but I’m not sure if I actually have one or which one or ones I do have. Within the past few months, I’ve gradually found it much harder to leave my house. It is affecting me to the point where I have to take days off of school because I get physically ill (nauseous) from being around so many people for such a long time. I tend to stay in my room more than anywhere else. I am extremely cautious about talking to other people and it is a very hard thing for me to do. I don’t pick up the telephone no matter what, and I will not call people either. I don’t keep many close friends, and the ones I do have I only see at school or talk to online. I’m terribly afraid of public speaking, working in groups, or being around people in general, and a lot of that is because I’m afraid of what they will think of me. I get very anxious about doing things like going to school, and I have suffered a few minor panic attacks from that. I have extremely low self esteem, maybe even close to self-loathing, and this also prevents me from talking to people I believe. My moods also change very quickly, and are pretty extreme as well.

It is always difficult to offer a reliable diagnosis over the Internet. Please keep this in mind. Based on the information you have provided you may have agoraphobia or social phobia. Both are anxiety disorders. Agoraphobia is a fear of being in places where you may not be able to escape. It usually involves a fear of crowds or being with other people in general. Some individuals with severe agoraphobia can no longer leave their homes due to extreme fear. The fear can be crippling. They essentially become prisoners in their own home. You can read more about the characteristics of agoraphobia here.

Characteristics of social phobia include having an irrational fear of interacting with people. It also involves a fear of putting yourself in situations which may involve scrutiny or judgments by others. Individuals with social phobia tend to avoid social events because of their intense fear of being judged. You can read more about social phobia by clicking here.

Your situation is very concerning. Your anxiety is preventing you from attending school. If you cannot attend school then you risk failing. Social anxiety disorders tend to become progressively worse over time. It is important that you seek help for this issue. Anxiety disorders are very treatable. Many individuals with anxiety disorders are able to overcome them.

According to HelpGuide’s website, “When it comes to treating anxiety disorders, research shows that therapy is usually the most effective option. That’s because anxiety therapy—unlike anxiety medication—treats more than just the symptoms of the problem. Therapy can help you uncover the underlying causes of your worries and fears; learn how to relax; look at situations in new, less frightening ways; and develop better coping and problem-solving skills. Therapy gives you the tools to overcome anxiety and teaches you how to use them.”

The first step in getting help for social anxiety disorders is often the most difficult because it usually requires physically leaving your home to attend psychotherapy appointments. The prospect of that may be very frightening but it is a necessary step to cure this problem.

My advice is this: speak to your parents. Inform them that you possibly have an anxiety disorder. Tell them that you need help and you need it now. As indicated above, anxiety disorders are very treatable but it requires you asking for help. I hope that you are able to get the help you need. Please consider writing back to let me know how you’re doing. I wish you well.

February 24, 2022 0 comment

Afraid of Middle-Aged Men

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker September 27th, 2021

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Back story of my problem. When I was a child my step-father molested me. Since then, I have this irrational fear of white middle-aged men that are bigger than me. As soon as they grow elderly and feeble that fear dissipates, and up until they are middle-aged (under 40-ish) they are awesome. For the longest time I ignored my phobia, realizing that it was silly to fear every white middle aged man that crossed my path. I also know rationally that not every middle aged man is out to get me. So here is my problem today.

My fiance’s boss and a lot of his co-workers hug me when I drop by or run into them at company events. Usually, I get an uncomfortable lurch in my stomach, but I will it away and try to be nice. I’ve been doing this for about three years. One day I couldn’t ignore the feelings any longer and then I couldn’t stop thinking about them. My punishment for not dealing with it 15 years ago I guess. Suddenly it’s become something that I can’t handle anymore, but they always hug me and I can’t just tell them not to. They will think that I hate them or that they’ve done something wrong.

The only way to stop them from thinking that way is to open up about the molestation (which I don’t want to do with them), and that would lead to them being insulted by me comparing my experience with a child molester to them. Or, they understand and stare at me like I’m some fragile nutcase for the rest of my existence. Not something I want. Also, this is all kind of out of the blue for them. I haven’t had an issue with it in their eyes for 3 years. I can’t just say, “Nope sorry, can’t hug me anymore. It makes me feel sick.” So… I’ve been avoiding them. Which they are starting to wise up to. How do I get over this fear? I don’t know what to do. I’ve opened up to people about being molested, and I’m fairly open about what happened to me if asked directly, but I don’t believe this is appropriate to open up to my fiance’s boss about. Is there anything I can try to do that will help me confront and get over this craziness I’m feeling?

You don’t have an “irrational” fear. You had a terrible experience. Memories of that experience are being triggered by men who remind you of the perpetrator when they get physically close. This is very common and nothing to be ashamed of.

You are wise not to share your history with your fiance’s colleagues. It’s not their business and it could be awkward all around. I hope your fiance can provide you with some extra support when you are with his coworkers. it’s absolutely apropriate for you to draw some boundaries around your personal space. However, as you pointed out, after three years it’s difficult to change things with this particular group without an explanation. But you can certainly be more assertive about who you will accept hugs from in the future.

The other solution to your current situation is to get into some therapy to help you separate the present from the past. I don’t see this as a “punishment for not dealing with it 15 years ago.” Instead, I hope you see it as an opportunity to put an ugly event behind you now that you are older, stronger, and able to make effective use of treatment. I expect it’s terrible to feel like your stepfather still has any power over you. You don’t want what he did to determine how you react to other people who are only being warm and welcoming, not abusive. Therapy can help you regain your sense of personal choice and power.

At only 25, you have a lot of life ahead of you. I hope you will get the help you need to have a life free from this kind of fear.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

September 27, 2021 0 comment

Borderline Personality Disorder and Coping Methods

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW January 29th, 2020

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I am a college focused girl and to others, it may seem that the only troubles in my life are balancing Advances Placement classes. In the past year, however, I have been encountering many signs of Borderline Personality Disorder in my behavior which seem to be rapidly growing in frequency and magnitude.

I am usually in a state of content or maybe a mild depression. It tends to worsen on stressful or bad weather days. My first sign of mental abnormality was the irrational fear of tornadoes of couple years ago, although I don’t know if that denotes any real correlation with BPD. I have an ustable relationship with my mother, who seems to have irrational anger and criticizes the smallest things, routinely saying I will never be as good as she is. She give little praise on my academic achievements, which hurts my already low self-esteem. In March of 2010, I kept having a aching feeling of emptiness and detachment. When I would become frustrated with myself or situations harming me that I could not change, I’d dig my fingernails into my scalp and arm. As it worsened, I felt claustrophobic in a way. I felt the need to get out of my own skin. The episodes would occur suddenly and would pass in an hour or two.

Eventually, my boyfriend found out, and somehow worsened the situation. Approximately 85% of the freakouts happen in his presence. When I am upset about a trivial matter, something seems to take over me. I feel like I am being purposely difficult, although I am in my right mind. I start to blame him for everything, punching walls, hurting myself, screaming at him to get out. But as soon as he does, I call him and tell him that he is horrible for leaving me, and sometimes have subtly threatened suicide. I calm down with time, being held by him, or occupying myself with something else. It’s just awful.
I was curious if this does indeed sound like BPD so I could research coping methods. I unfortunately could not see a psychiatrist or psychotherapist for the next 11 months until I turn 18, because my mother does not believe I may have an actual illness. She only believes I am a drama queen. Your input and advice is vital to me. Thank you.

I appreciate the very detailed account of your situation. You may be showing signs of borderline personality disorder but of course, only an in-person psychiatric evaluation could determine this for certain. One aspect of your letter reminds me of someone who may be demonstrating borderline-like personality traits:

I start to blame him for everything, punching walls, hurting myself, screaming at him to get out. But as soon as he does, I call him and tell him that he is horrible for leaving me, and sometimes have subtly threatened suicide.

Individuals with borderline personality disorder have significant difficulty with relationships. They desire relationships but they often act in a manner that drives people away. A very popular book that describes this trait, which is associated with borderline personality disorder, is I Hate You Don’t Leave Me. Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder by Jerold Kreisman. You might find it to be a very useful and educational book. It offers valuable insights into why individuals with borderline personality disorder act the way that they do.

With regard to interacting with your boyfriend, something about him may upset you. Perhaps you expect him to behave in a particular way toward you and when he doesn’t it disappoints you. An additional element of the relationship is that you apparently feel as though it is acceptable to treat him poorly. It was not wrong of him to leave a situation in which he was being abused. It was the correct action for him to have taken.

The Kreisman book may be of interest but you may want something more didactic. Books that may help you with coping skills are: The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide by Alex Chapman and Kim Gratz; Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey Wood and Jeffrey Brantley and almost any book by Marsha Linehan that is written specifically for BPD sufferers (as opposed to professionals who treat BPD clients).

You may want to consider other self-help materials that are less focused on BPD and give more relationship-based or general life advice. Check the reviews on Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

I admire your willingness to ask for help and to know when it may be necessary. Individuals who are interested and invested in correcting their issues usually have the most success with change. I hope this helps. Good luck.

Dr. Kristina Randle

March 22, 2011 0 comment