Low Energy Archives

I’m a 35-year-old mom of 2. I grew up with a narcissistic mother & absent father. In my childhood I had to deal with emotional neglect, physical & sexual abuse, and I was bullied in elementary school. With that said, I had a lot of (cognitive) therapy as an adult and I (thought) I was doing ok.

About a year ago I got physically ill and was diagnosed with a chronic tick-borne illness. I’m getting antibiotic treatment at this moment, 4 months and counting.

I have been sitting home a lot because of this, not being able to work, and am having a lot of alone-time. For the last month or so I have been noticing a change in me. I have become emotionally flat. I can’t really feel happiness or joy, but I do tend to cry a lot. I feel very uninterested towards other people. I get easily agitated and have sudden outbursts of irritable behavior, sometimes out of the blue. I don’t feel like talking. I am very indecisive, can’t seem to make up my mind on anything nor decide if any solution or action is a good or bad one. I have zero motivation. I used to love to draw and paint but neither makes me happy anymore. I don’t do many household chores, just the most essentials, but I’m not sure if that’s because of a lack of motivation or a lack of energy. Lastly, I have a lot of anxiety, like going to public places, being afraid for my & my kids’ safety, etc.

This all scares and worries me. Could it be side effects from the antibiotics, or is my trauma from the past catching up with me?

Thank you in advance.

Yes, it could be medication side effects or it could be an effect of the illness itself. Another possibility is that because you are physically ill, your energy levels are depleted. Physically, when we are not well, it affects our psychological health.

Being sick also means having to rest. Resting equates to inactivity. Inactivity and sickness makes people feel irritable, tired and unproductive. Some people feel guilty when they are not productive or working. If you had the energy to work and to resume your life, you might not be experiencing these symptoms. It’s possible that once you are feeling better and resume a normal level of functioning, these problems will dissipate.

There’s also no evidence to suggest that this issue is related to your negative childhood experiences. You were an otherwise healthy, normal functioning adult until you were beset by physical illness. It could very well be that your physical illness is the source of your feelings, not your childhood.

You mentioned therapy, but it was not clear from your letter whether you are in treatment. If not, I would highly recommend it. Having extra support during a difficult time can help tremendously. It would also be advantageous to surround yourself with as many supportive people as possible. Avoid isolating yourself even if you feel the urge to do so. You might also join a support group for people living with chronic illnesses. That might help you to cope with the psychological strain of physical health problems. Hopefully, the antibiotics will help to restore your health and you can resume your life as soon as possible. Thanks for your question. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

From Canada: I am hoping you can point me to a direction on how I can read more about this issue. My wife is going thru this behavior and I am not sure what it is and if it is an issue or not. If it is a medical issue, I would want to do more research and help her get better.

My wife is very normal on most of the days. I have been married to her for almost three years now. Ever since our marriage I noticed that she has these episodes of low energy, anxiety, irritability, etc every two weeks. I can literally predict now when the issue will happen. When the episode happens, she will feel low, with thoughts of no purpose in life, wastage of life, not having any pleasure in life, etc. She calls herself ugly duckling.

Many times these episodes go eventless and she comes out of the state in a couple of days. More often though, these episodes become really bad. It usually is triggered by some or the other incident that on any other day would be very normal. When she becomes irritable, she will be very loud, very fast in thinking and speaking. She will bring out all the old incidents in random order and start screaming at me. She will start calling me with disrespectful names with words I cant even describe. She will call herself the maid or someone I use for satisfaction of my lust. These events are getting more and more serious every two weeks. They are becoming more violent, etc. She even refers to having to kill herself.

After the couple of days of above incidents, she goes back to normal and loving wife. She is very sensitive in general but those 2-3 days she will be a total differernt personality.

I initially thought this was bipolar mania depression but when I took the test on her behalf, it came out negative. It indicated some form of depression but was not able to pin point. I was wondering if someone can help me qualify the symptoms so that I can read up on the issue and prepare myself to help my wife out. I want her to be really happy and cant see her in such pain for those 2-3 days.

Please help
Thanks

Since you are in your 40s, I’m going to guess that your wife is as well. For that reason, the first stop is with her doctor and perhaps an endocrinologist. You didn’t mention whether your wife’s episodes correlate in any way with her menstrual cycle. It’s possible that she is perimenopausal and that her mood shifts are related. It’s important to establish whether or not that is the case before concluding there is a mental health problem.

I understand and appreciate that you’ve been trying to be helpful by investigating possibilities on line. But no matter how sophisticated an online test may seem, it does not compare to seeing someone who has 7 or more years of schooling and many years of experience as a mental health professional. If the problem were simple, you would have easily found an answer. Since you didn’t, it’s time to see a professional.

If she is medically fine, encourage your wife to make an appointment with a psychiatrist or psychologist. I hope she’ll let you go with her since you are able to observe from the outside what she is experiencing inside. Take as much information to that appointment as you can. (It would be helpful if you tracked the mood shifts for a few months and made notes about onset, behaviors, and when she gets back to her usual self.)

You are both suffering. There is help available. Your letter shows me that your motivation is there. I hope you and your wife can work as a team to figure out what is going on and to follow recommendations that may relieve you both.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Low Energy

Not Doing OK

Wife Has Bi-Weekly Episodes of Low Energy