Tag:

Mri

Eldest Daughter Hearing Voices

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW August 9th, 2024

Our eldest daughter is 36 and has always been very out going and helpiful to eveyone. While she is now living in another state, we learned from her sister and friends she says she hears voices in her head and begins cursing and telling the voices to stop. No one else hears any voices and the sudden outburts are disturbing and can occur even when she’s speaking on the phone. She asked her mother to vist recently and her mother found the stories true, but she has seen a psychologist who refered her for an MRI .

I would like to know how I could help her. The issue has occurred about 10 years after we found her youngest brother had paranoia; our son absolutely refused help and won’t see a doctor. He got in some legal problems a few years ago and it was our daughter who helped bail him out by paying for a lawyer. She was very active in sports throughout high school and college. I can’t think of which is worse – a possible tumor or an uncureable mental problem.

It is so very frustrating as a parent to be unable to help your children even when they are adults now and making a living of their own. I know my concern now should be only for them, but I just want to cry. What did my wife and I do wrong?

I want to first address the last question in your letter, which is what did you and your wife do wrong. Please do not blame yourself. Perhaps there is more to the story but nothing you have described leads me to believe that you are to blame. You said that your adult children are having problems with paranoia and hearing voices. If this is true they may be suffering from psychosis-based disorders. These may include disorders such as psychotic disorder not otherwise specified (NOS), schizophrenia, schizophreniform disorder, schizoaffective disorder, delusional disorder, and the like. Science has not identified the precise cause of these disorders, but there is strong research to support the theory that they are organically based. That means that they are caused by a brain disorder or some unknown physiological or biological factor. You are not to blame.

There are other possible explanations for the symptoms such as neurological problems. Luckily, your daughter has been referred for an MRI. The other possibility to explain the voices could be drug use. You did not mention whether drug use was a factor but depending on the type of drugs, they can cause psychotic-like symptoms.

The main challenge you’re facing in this situation is distance. Your daughter lives in another state. This limits how effectively you can intervene. From a distance, you could speak to your daughter on the telephone and let her know you support and care about her. You could also act as a support system for those who are caring for her. Another way that you can support her and the family is to research psychotic disorders and share your knowledge with other family members. If your daughter has children perhaps you could suggest they temporarily stay with you and your wife. This might give your daughter a chance to receive the help she needs without the children having to witness this difficult time.

I understand that what you’re going through is not easy. It has to be stressful and frustrating to know that your daughter is suffering and there is little that can be done. It’s important to recognize that even if you were her neighbor there still may be little you could do to help.

To help yourself through this difficult time you may want to consider joining a local support group for individuals who have family members with mental illness. The most popular family support group around the country is offered through the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Many people find these groups to be very helpful.

Please do not blame yourself for what is happening. There is no reason to blame yourself. This is especially true if your adult children are dealing with organically-based disorders. I invite you to write back if you have any further questions. Thank you for your question.

August 9, 2024 0 comment

Weird seasonal behavior getting worse every year

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker May 31st, 2023

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

My husband was diagnosed with cluster migranes. He gets them every year around Thanksgiving. They are getting more severe and lasting for a longer period of time each year – almost 3 weeks now. He did go to a neurologist for this – MRI is clear.

Also, every March he goes into this paranoid rageful state. It too is getting worse and now lasts about 6 weeks into April. His paranoia is always centered on me – that I am a woman therefore I am unfaithful. His last wife ran off with his best friend 15 years ago. We have been together 12 years and I have never given him any reason to suspect anything. Unfortunately, the worse the paranoia and anger the more he drinks his beer. 6 – 8 cases of beer a week during this time is not unusual for him.

Every comment and non-comment, every look, even whatever is on TV sets him off. “I know what they really mean!” “You cooked that because that’s what your boyfriend likes.” “They really think this.” Then the name calling and horrible accusations begin again. In his drunken rage which he builds up to, he calls anyone associated with me and screams at them they are helping “that sl**** to cheat on me”. A former boss and a college director were both receipients of such phone calls. He tracks my mileage and won’t allow me to answer the phone or go anywhere without him and if he says no, which he usually does, we don’t go.

Then *poof*! Magically, it is over. He just wakes up one day his usual dysfunctional self instead of the drunken paranoid rageful one. He doesn’t remember most of the episodes or even most of what he said and denies that anything was ever wrong. His drinking cuts back to his normal 2 – 4 cases of beer a week. And his rage is now directed toward traffic.

Every year I go through this and every year it gets worse. I hope you can tell me what is wrong with him and how I can best deal with it and/or get him into treatment if that is what is needed.

I suspect your heading may be right. There are some people who react to seasonal changes of light and develop a depression, usually around November and again in March. This is called SAD, “seasonal affective disorder.” My guess is that your husband is self-medicating with alcohol, thinking it will give him relief. Unfortunately, alcohol is a depressant and only makes things worse. When your husband is depressed and drinks he becomes a very mean drunk with black-outs about his behavior.

You present his level of drinking very matter-of-factly. I’m concerned that you are so used to it that you can’t see that he is an alcoholic. 2-4 cases of beer every week isn’t “normal”. 6 – 8 cases is way, way out of control. For this to get better, he has to get in control of his drinking. I encourage you to find an Al-Anon meeting. (Call 1 800 344 2666.) That program can give you some personal support as well as some practical advice about how to encourage your husband to get treatment. Finally, your husband should be evaluated for SAD by a mental health professional. If that diagnosis is correct, he needs medication for his depression, not beer.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

May 31, 2023 0 comment

Abusive, Alcoholic Relative

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker April 2nd, 2021

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

The title says it all. I have a brother in law who has always been a big drinker. However, two years ago, doctors found a brain tumor. They caught it before it could get any worse, and his MRI’s have been coming up perfect ever since.

The problem is the fact that since then, his drinking has become much worse. He is not allowed to drink because of the medications he takes, but he lies and does so anyway. He has hurt himself – passing out drunk in the middle of streets, crashing while bike riding, the list goes on.

He has also become an abusive husband. He has admitted to it, and has apologized to our families about it all and promised to change. He was doing well for a few months but it has started again. While sitting in a car, he grabs the wheels and makes you go into oncoming traffic, he is rude, lies, and most of all, doesn’t appreciate the support he has. He is currently seeing a psychiatrist, and has been attending AA meetings, but he is also an atheist, so it hasn’t taken him very far.

My question is more for myself. How can I help him? My first reaction is anger. I know I’m not going to solve anything with that, but I just don’t know what to say or do anymore. How can I not be mad at him for being abusive? How can I not be mad at him for wishing he was dead instead of being granted this second chance at life after beating cancer? What can I do or say to help him? I’ve tried to get him to talk, but he’s a shrugs his shoulders kind of guy. Nothing seems to get through. I’m at a total loss. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

The first thing to do is to talk to a neurologist. Before assuming that this is a psychological problem, it’s important to rule out the possibility that he can’t help it. You didn’t mention where the tumor was located in your brother-in-law’s brain. Depending on where it was located, there could be brain damage that accounts for some of his behavior. It sounds like his executive function may be seriously impaired.

Unfortunately, doctors don’t always talk to each other and they often only get the information that the patient chooses to give them. See if there is a way to make sure the psychiatrist is aware of his medical history and aware of his current behavior. (You didn’t mention how you are related. The closest relative is often someone who can get a patient to agree to be accompanied to an appointment.)

If he is medically clear, then it’s possible that he is so deep in his addiction, he can’t get clear of it. Sadly, AA doesn’t work for everyone. For some people, the emphasis on spirituality makes it a non-starter. Further, since it is a totally volunteer organization, the quality of the group – and the help – is dependent on who is in it at the time. Some groups have members who really work well together and work the program. But sometimes groups become just a forum for mutual complaining. I suggest you talk to your doctor about whether there is a group with another approach in your area or if there is an AA group that is known to be seriously down to business. If there isn’t an alternative group, there may be a psychologist or addictions counselor in private practice who has a different approach. Of course, your brother-in-law may not go, no matter what you say.

Meanwhile — DON’T get in a car with him. No one should! Tell his doctor what he’s done while driving. It may be grounds for losing his license.

Encourage his wife to see a counselor. If she is putting up with his behavior out of love and her own gratitude for his recovery from cancer, she may be inadvertently enabling his alcoholism. She needs support to take care of herself and her kids. She may not be able to help him but she can protect herself and her children.

This is a terrible situation. It’s terribly sad to lose someone like this. All you can do is the best you can do. Love him the best you can but stay safe yourself and encourage others to do the same.

I wish you all well.
Dr. Marie

April 2, 2021 0 comment