Nickname Archives

I used to never get angry at anyone until about 5 months ago. I will be talking to someone or just watching TV and I will start getting annoyed for no reason. That in turn will lead to anger but I don’t know why. When it’s happening I can’t reason with myself enough to wonder why it’s happening. It’s not until I am alone later that I realize what had happened. I need to find a way to fix this because it is starting to hurt my family and friends.
I have always loved to hang out with friends but lately when I text my friends I get mad and just stop texting them. Later I will wonder why I didn’t do it I get mad at myself. I want to do things with them but my anger mood swings always gets in the way.
My family means the world to me and I love them to death but I have been getting in a lot of fights with them recently. I just got in a fight with my sister yesterday over nothing. She had just asked me a question about myself and I blew up at her for no reason. It wasn’t like she was asking me anything bad I just got angry.
I don’t want to be mad anymore but I don’t know what to do to fix this. I just want to be back to my normal happy self. I used to get the nickname if smiley from all of basketball coaches because I was always in such a good mood. I want to get that nickname back. Please help me.

Thank you for writing. Your letter shows you to be an insightful and caring person. Instead of blaming others for your situation, you are looking for ways to get back in charge of your feelings so you don’t hurt the ones you love. Good for you.

You didn’t mention if anything happened 5 months ago that could have started this. Is something bothering you more than you want to admit? If that’s the case, a few sessions with a counselor might help you get to the bottom of it and to figure out what to do to make things right again.

But if this change of mood has come on you all of a sudden with no discernable reason, the first step is a trip to your medical doctor. Your irritability and touchiness just might have a medical reason. Hypothyroidism, for example, may lead to depressed mood. Insufficient sleep is also a major cause of depression in teens.

If you are medically fine, then it’s time to see a mental health professional. What you are reporting may be the onset of a depression. Many people think that depression only shows up as sadness and being down. But in some people, irritability is the primary symptom.

The good news is that you can be treated. Medical causes can be addressed. Psychotherapy can help you learn how to manage your moods and get back in control of your life.

There are also a number of techniques you can try to better manage anger on your own. Check these out:

Practice mindfulness and deep breathing: When you start to feel angry, take a moment to pause and engage in mindfulness and deep breathing exercises. Focusing on your breath and being present in the moment can help calm your mind and reduce the intensity of your anger.
Identify triggers: Keep track of situations that trigger your anger, and try to identify patterns or underlying causes. Being aware of your triggers can help you anticipate and prepare for them in the future.
Develop healthy coping strategies: Experiment with different coping strategies to manage anger, such as exercise, meditation, journaling, or talking to a trusted friend or family member. Find what works best for you and make it a habit to use these strategies when you feel angry.
Address underlying emotional issues: Sometimes anger is a manifestation of deeper emotional issues, such as stress, anxiety, or depression. If you find that your anger is consistent or intense, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional to address these underlying emotional issues.

Remember, it’s normal to feel angry from time to time, but it’s important to handle anger in a healthy and constructive way. Seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be helpful in managing anger and improving overall emotional well-being.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

For three of the previous four years I was on several anti-depressants and have always had anti-anxiety prescription drugs available. This year i’m not takking any anti-depressants because they never really helped. I have only a few exams left and then my master’s thesis, but i can’t do anything. i escape into fantasy and SF films and novels- the only thing that shuts me and the world out for some time.

What worries me even more is this apathy that seems to come whenever i’m about to fall to pieces. it is saving me, but i’m also unable to feel anything – my best friend’s father passed away and i barely felt anything. i acted my part, I have always been good at acting, but there was only a void inside me.
Some of my friends like to joke and call me “Jesus”, and others simply think of me as a great guy. But i feel like none of those things (of course i don’t think i’m Jesus :)… i feel wrong, this emptiness is my only protection and yet i hate it.

I live in Croatia, but I’m Palestinian. I used to suffer because of it, and tried to deny my heritage. When i realized i was more and more intrigued by my heritage, and converted to Islam, it led to a breakup of a three-year long relationship. Today most women i meet end up being my friends because, when i’m not in the apathy mode, there is something that justifies the Jesus nickname. Within days, I end up being a friend with almost every woman and man i meet, and usually exploited. The reason for nothing more happening was always that i was “too nice”. I’m a pretty good looking guy (by some even more) i keep myself fit, mostly it was me who got picked up, not the other way around. One of my exes wanted to break up because she said she felt “too good”. I was about to leave the room and she stopped me, saying she was sorry. I stayed. I tried to bring back my feelings, but for a month there was nothing. I turned on the apathy switch to protect myself and never managed to trust her enough again to turn it off.
All of my friends tell me that i should be more of a bastard towards women (including female friends), but i can’t do that, it does not come naturally to me, and goes against everything I am when I am not feeling this way.

The question, if there is one is – how do i get out of this rut of apathy? How do i become more thick skinned so that i don’t retreat back into it?

I hope you answer.

It sounds to me like the diagnosis of depression may have been correct. As you found out, medication alone isn’t helpful. Medication can lift your mood but it can’t help you learn how to interact more successfully with other people. I doubt that you need to be a “bastard” in order to be more interesting to women and more able to take care of yourself with friends of both sexes. It sounds to me like you have learned that the best way to get along is to go along with whatever other people want. Yes, that eliminates conflict. But it also means that people don’t get to know who you really are. When they are with you, they only see some reflection back of themselves. If people wanted to be friends only with themselves, they would make friends with mirrors. People want the give and take and interesting experiences that come with understanding and responding to differences.

I urge you to get into therapy. Find a therapist who specializes in mood disorders. Then work collaboratively with your psychiatrist and your therapist to treat this long-standing depression. From where I sit, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The real world can be just as interesting and exciting as a fantasy game if you know how to play in it.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Nickname

Random Anger

Depression, Apathy, Anxiety, and Self-loathing