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Relatives

“Teen Thing” or Real Issues?

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW August 14, 2024

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Q. I think i may have mental health issues i’m not sure. Well i’m asking this because for about a year now i haven’t felt… well right. At first i thought it was just a teen thing it’ll pass but it hasn’t and i’m scared that i may have mental health issues. I’ll go into more detail; Well alot of things have happened in my life i’ve felt alot of pain, Relatives have died, my dad had cancer, my parents got divorced and many other painful events. I hate showing my feelings so tend to keep everything inside but i really don’t think this is the best way to cope. Lately things have really got bad; death seems to dwell on my mind alot whether it’s my own, others or just the thought of death, and i have been thinking about suicide and i did attempt it once but couldn’t bring myself to do it. I live with my mum and she hates me she said she wanted nothing to do with me, she even says there’s something wrong with me. I can’t talk to her and my dad who i no longer live with has recently got a girlfriend and isn’t interested in me anymore. I tried to tell a friend once i was feeling suicidal but he just said seek professional help, but i can’t i don’t want to they’ll just ruin my life even more send me away i don’t want to go away. I just feel i have no future that my life isn’t worth living. I cry every day. I get hardly any sleep. I’ve completely lost my appetite. I don’t socialize. I just sit in my bedroom all day unless i have to go to school which i have begun to hate. I know something isn’t right but my question is what? I’m just really worried I’ll do something I’ll regret. I have an uncontrollable temper and have hurt many people in the past with it. I can really lose it sometimes. I just feel my life is on a downward spiral please help me? Do you know what could be wrong with me?

Your emotional instability and depression are understandable. You’re living with your mother who you said “hates” you and “wants nothing to do with you” and who tells you there is “something wrong with you.” You said that your father has a girlfriend and no longer has “interest in you.” You also wrote that some of your relatives have died, your father had cancer, your parents were recently divorced and that there are other painful events that have occurred in your life that you did not include in your letter. Any one of these situations or events would be extremely difficult to handle and you’re dealing with them all, simultaneously and seemingly without any help or support. This cannot be easy.

I believe that all of the abovementioned events and situations may be contributing to how you are feeling. It does not seem that there is anything “mentally” wrong with you meaning that you probably don’t have a mental health disorder. I say this because you’re living through a very challenging family situation in which you have no help and you’re reacting to what you are faced with. You are in a situation that is truly difficult to handle and you’re trying to manage it alone.

Please know, however, that there is help for you. You should go to a trusted clergyman, a teacher, a family friend or to the school counselor immediately. Tell them how you have been feeling and that you want their help. It is imperative that you stop trying to handle these matters on your own and that you go for help immediately.

You also said that your friend suggested getting professional help. This would also be a good idea. If you had a person in your life that you could go to for help, support or advice you would have an easier time knowing how to manage your emotions. You need someone like this in your life. Unfortunately, your parents do not seem to be fulfilling this role for you as they should. This is extremely regrettable because it is their job to provide you with advice and support. Because you do not have a person that you can go to for advice, you need to find someone who can help you. Remember, this person may be a therapist, a teacher, the school counselor, a family friend, a member of the church, etc. Please reach out for help. You deserve help and you need it. Please consider writing back and letting me know how you are doing and please find someone to help you.

August 14, 2024 0 comments

Schizoid, Schizotypal or Schizophrenia?

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW January 21, 2024

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Hi, firstly, english is not my native language, so forgive me if I make some grammatical mistakes.

I’ve been experiencing depersonalization and other symptoms since I was 14 (I’m 20 now). It all started kind of suddenly and made me become very reclusive during my adolescence. At the time when I first started having those feelings, I looked for psychological and psychiatric help but none of them worked (with the exception of clonazepam).

My social life got better, but I’m still very reserved, shy and introspective and found out that I tend to intellectualize my feelings in psychotherapy (which is a symptom of schizoid personality disorder), but I’m also depersonalized and rather paranoid and have problems to associate my thoughts sometimes (for example: I think “wall” and say “mall)- which is a symptom of schizotypal personality disorder.

To make things worse, I have a lot of relatives (none of them are of first-degree) with schizophrenia and I wonder if I’m displaying prodome symptoms of it throughout the years.

Am I going silently crazy?

It is difficult to know what disorder, if any, you may have. It is true that having a family history of schizophrenia may make it more likely that you would develop the disorder. Yes, it slightly increases your chances, but it does not mean that you are destined to develop schizophrenia.

You may not have any one particular disorder. You may be suffering from a number of various symptoms but nothing that is diagnosable at this time. I would suggest meeting with a mental health professional for a diagnostic evaluation.

I find it encouraging that over time your social life and presumably your social skills have improved. You do, however, continue to feel depersonalization as well as paranoia and those symptoms are concerning.

You asked about whether your symptoms are prodromal symptoms, presumably a sign that schizophrenia is imminent. It is difficult to answer that question. You have had symptoms since the age of 14. That would be an abnormally long prodromal phase. It is possible that what you are experiencing are prodromal symptoms but I cannot tell based on a short letter. The typical age for the onset of a schizophrenia episode among males is approximately 18 years old.

Because it may be possible that you are experiencing prodromal symptoms, I would strongly encourage that you be evaluated and that you consider treatment. If you are in fact experiencing the prodromal symptoms of schizophrenia then being in treatment could help to prevent a psychotic episode. When it comes to psychosis or schizophrenia early treatment is very important. Research has shown that early intervention is associated with a more favorable response to treatment and better outcomes.

I think it is wise to be concerned. It is also important to be proactive with treatment, especially when it comes to psychosis or schizophrenia. As I mentioned above I do not know if you are experiencing prodromal symptoms, but if you are then it would be advantageous to be in treatment with a mental health professional. Delays in treatment have been associated with less favorable outcomes.

If you’d like to search for mental health treatment in your community, please consult this directory.

January 21, 2024 0 comments

Can Schizophrenic Family Member Turn Against Others?

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW March 16, 2021

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

My mother is a schizophrenic. My mother is around 47 years old and she’s had schizophrenia since before she got married in her 20s I guess. My mother has turned against almost all of our relatives, we have no family friends and we barely go out. As they create scenarios in their mind and believe it’s true. I have a feeling my mother is gradually turning against us. Is this possible?

Also, I have a feeling that my brother (21) has also been genetically affected. Some people believe it might be some sort of demonic possession as the effects are on and off, but I think it might be schizophrenia. Can schizophrenia be passed on genetically?

Yes, unfortunately, it is possible for an individual with schizophrenia to “turn on their family.” I worked on a research study in which we were attempting to build a website for individuals with schizophrenia and their family members. We had to alter our recruiting process because we found that so few individuals with schizophrenia had retained positive connections with their family.

It is important to separate the individual from their illness. In other words, an individual with schizophrenia might “turn on their family” because of their symptoms, not because they don’t love their family. Individuals with schizophrenia are not thinking clearly. Schizophrenia is a thought disorder. Delusions, hallucinations and paranoia interrupt an individual’s logical thinking ability and tricks them into believing in a false reality. That is the cruel nature of the disease.

I worked with a client who believed that her husband was plotting to harm her. Every move he made was perceived as being part of his plot to harm her. At one point, she called the police and falsely reported that he was dealing drugs just so he would be arrested. She only did it because she wholeheartedly believed that he was attempting to harm her. He was not but in her illogical mind, he was. By having her husband arrested, she was attempting to protect herself.

In many ways, schizophrenia is a family disease because it affects the family to such a large degree. In the example above, it would’ve been understandable for the client’s husband to have been furious with her for having called the police but he realized that she did it because of her illness. No one wants to have or chooses to have schizophrenia. Schizophrenia afflicts people of any gender, race, or socioeconomic status.

With regard to schizophrenia being passed on genetically, it is possible. Having a family member with schizophrenia increases the likelihood that other family members will develop the disorder. It does not guarantee that members of the family will develop the disorder but the genetic risk is real, though slight.

Your brother is also showing signs of schizophrenia and “some people” believe that he is possessed by demons. Historically, individuals with schizophrenia were thought to have been possessed by demons. The current understanding of schizophrenia is that it is a brain disorder that is brought on or exacerbated by stress. If your brother is experiencing signs of schizophrenia, then he should be evaluated by a mental health professional immediately. Time is of the essence with regard to schizophrenia and psychosis. The sooner that he can begin treatment, the sooner his symptoms can be decreased or eliminated.

I would recommend contacting the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). NAMI is an advocacy group that provides support and psychoeducation about mental illnesses. Many NAMI members have family members with mental illnesses and can relate to your situation. I wish you the best of luck.

Kristina Randle

March 16, 2021 0 comments

Could Genes Play A Part In Developing Schizophrenia?

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW August 16, 2011

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Hello, My great Uncle suffers from schizophrenia, although I’m not sure what type (whether it’s paranoid, catatonic, etc.) It was brought to my attention that I [apparently] display some early symptoms of schizophrenia, though personally I believe it’s not so.

Some of these symptoms included anxiety, lack of motivation, social isolation, “stone faced” or expressionless, inability to differentiate dreams from reality (for things that happened up to 5 years ago), and so on.

Could they be right? Or is it nothing to worry about, just something that comes with age?

No one has determined conclusively that schizophrenia is genetic. There are still many theories about what causes schizophrenia but no one theory has been proven to be the cause. The prevailing theory is that schizophrenia is a brain disease. It is also believed, by many scientists and researchers, that stress and environment can play a major role in the development of schizophrenia.

Research shows that individuals who have relatives with schizophrenia are at an increased risk for developing the disorder. It is important to note that the increased risk is slight. Having a relative with the disease in no way guarantees that other family members will develop it. Again, the risk is slight and its development depends on many factors.

Some of the symptoms you have described are associated with both schizophrenia and schizotypal personality disorder. Anxiety is one such example as is social isolation. Lack of motivation, in the context of schizophrenia, would be considered a negative symptom of the disorder. Negative symptoms are characteristics of an individual’s behavior that should exist but do not.

Schizotypal personality disorder is characterized by a lack of social interaction and extreme anxiety in social situations. Individuals with this disorder tend to keep to themselves. They don’t have many or any close friends. They are very shy and have difficulty interacting with other people. They sometimes believe that they have special or magical powers.

Schizophrenia is similar to schizotypal personality disorder. In fact, it is most closely linked to schizophrenia, when compared to all the other personality disorders. The main difference between schizotypal and schizophrenia is that the individual with the personality disorder, for instance, may believe that other people are talking about them (ideas) versus the individual with schizophrenia who knows it’s true because they remember it happening (delusion).

The inability to express emotions, “stone faced or expressionless” might be considered a symptom called flat affect. Flat affect refers to an individual’s inability to show or to feel appropriate emotions.

You also mentioned having trouble with differentiating dreams from reality. You asked whether that is something that “comes with age?” I am not certain that I fully understand this question, however, it is abnormal to lack the ability to distinguish between dreams and reality. That symptom might be a reference to psychosis. Psychosis is a break with reality. Essentially, it is the belief in thoughts or ideas that are not real.

I cannot determine whether you have either disorder or any disorder. That determination would need to be made by a mental health professional who could evaluate you in person. I would highly recommend having a psychological evaluation. The “find help” tab could assist you in locating a mental health professional in your community. I wish you the best of luck.

Dr. Kristina Randle

August 16, 2011 0 comments

My mom is in denial of her drug addiction

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker April 28, 2011

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

My mom has shown patterns of being in denial for as long as I can remember. This time it’s really affecting the family. A few years ago she had to undergo surgery for her back, and has been taking pain pills since then. At this point she has moved up to the patch, which is a lot stronger than even some terminally ill people would take. She has always been pretty depressed but in the last 2 years, she has been worse than she has ever been. All she does everyday is lay in bed. She has neglected paying bills, including the mortgage and now the house is in danger of being foreclosed on. She hardly eats, or moves around. I’m afraid that she is becoming mentally prepared for death (not suicide, just the loss of the will to live in addition to poor health). She will never admit that she has a problem with drugs, and I believe that is what is making her depression worse. She needs treatment but I have no idea how to go about it. Am I able to talk to a psychologist on behalf of her? I suppose I should note that she is a single mother of four, so I don’t have a father to turn to. How can I help her?

You must be terribly worried. You’ve been watching your mom fade away and have felt helpless to help. She does sound dangerously depressed. I don’t know if her medications are the cause or if she’s truly in such pain that she can’t manage the demands of regular life. But she certainly does need some help.

I can think of a few things you can do, if you haven’t already.

First, insist that she make an appointment with her doctor and get her to let you go along. She can’t see herself from the outside as you can. Tell her doctor what you’ve told me. It may be that there are alternative medications that can give her relief from pain without making her so dysfunctional.

You said that you don’t have a dad but you didn’t mention if you have other relatives to turn to. If other people in the extended family are in a position to help but haven’t known what is going on, it’s time to contact them. I don’t know if she’s addicted or if her depression has so taken over that she hasn’t felt worth any help her family could give her. Either way, “protecting” your mother by not telling other relatives contributes to her isolation.

Finally, you can go to a therapist for yourself. A therapist can help you figure out what you need to do to both take better care of yourself and possibly be more effective with your mom. A therapist can also help you identify local resources. At some point, you and your therapist may decide to invite your mother in to share some of your sessions. Sometimes someone who won’t go to therapy for herself will go if it’s framed as a help for someone they love. The goal could be to find ways for you and your mom to be a team to take care of her and to make sure that essential tasks for running the household get done.

This is a lot for someone who is only 21 to handle. The situation requires that you be more mature and organized than your mother is. I’m sorry you find yourself in this position. But your letter suggests to me that you see things clearly and you are anxious to help. You made an important first step in writing. I hope this response gives you some direction for what you can do next.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

April 28, 2011 0 comments