From Dubai: Hello, I’m a girl from Middle East and I suffer a lot from everyone around me. I can’t even start with the main issue. But its related to my parents and family. They seem not to love and support me. They even don’t know my hobby and simple traits.
Starting with my father, he is always comparing me with my bigger sister and I hated her after I was loving her I wished to be successful as she is and how my father treating her more warming and supporting her. Mention that she is married. And my father also always comparing me with my cousins and criticize me and how I am shy and introverted person but I am not that. And when I order something I really need he ignore me. While he doesn’t ignore other sisters. He doesn’t support my dreams and hopes but only thing he do is criticizing.
Now moving to my mother, the one should and must be warming and supportive. She is also comparing me with cousins and she give support and love to cousins while she doesn’t do that to me which led me to literally hate them. I tried to tell her my secret maybe she will help me but all she does is mocking me and make joke of me and my secrets and telling my ant my secrets and break my privacy. She laughs at my flaws (physical) and my friends. She insulting me with things I never have control on it. They don’t listen to me and be against me when there is an issue with someone.
I cry hardly in my room and no one notice that and I hated them. I hated myself and felt so sorry that I do not love my self and no one do. And no one support me and don’t have anyone to talk with about what I feel.
All my friends I don’t tell them any of this because I feel so broken and feel that they will get bored of me. I hated my family also because they are as my parents. Also mention that I have low self-esteem and don’t appreciate myself. When a group of people talk and laugh loudly I feel badly because I think they are laugh at me. I’m 23 years old living with more than these problems but to keep it shortly I mentioned the main issue.
Please help me because I started to think of dying and hoping that I never exists and I wish that I could kill myself but my religion prevents me to do it and how I would like to kill myself to tell my parent they should notice me. And there is one last thing I really hate to see a good parent who support their children and happy. I really envy them and hate them a lot. I’m such a good person
It’s very, very sad but true that not everyone gets the parents they deserve. You are certainly not alone in this situation. I know that doesn’t really help but maybe knowing it will take the sting out a little. As painful as it is, your parents’ rejection of you and favoritism to others probably has nothing to do with you, really.
I wrote an article for LifeHelper some time ago called Rejecting Childhood Rejection. Rather than repeat what I said then, here is the link: #/lib/rejecting-childhood-rejection/.
Your challenge is to decide that your parents are simply wrong about you and to go about life in such a way that you can be successful and find other people who can and will love you for who you are. Your self-esteem won’t improve if you wait for your parents and relatives to give it to you. You need to start working on it on your own.
Start focusing on school so that you can both feel good about yourself and gain the skills you need to get a job and live on your own. And do let your friends be the kind of friend to you that you would be to them. I know you would comfort a friend. Let your friends comfort you. Share some of what you are going through and ask for some reassurance and help. Friends often become closer than family. Give your friends a chance.
The world is not your parents. There are many, many people out there in the world who, once they get to know you, will be the kind of “family” you deserve.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie