Hello. So I’m really confused currently. I’ve never really been normal, mainly just an outcast of society. Always been strange and weird.
It all started when I was just a small child; my mother always told me to not trust strangers because stranger danger, you know, the usual things mothers would tell their children. I took it to extremes though, I still do. I don’t trust ANYONE I don’t know. It may seem normal but the thing is, I feel like every person out there that seems suspicious, even just a guy with a few tattoos is out to get me.
When I was about 5 I literally started running away from my friends because a car was coming towards us. It was just driving away.
I constantly feel like I’m being watched and I know who’s doing it. A black and white clown who murders children, I don’t see him, but he is there.
I’m also paranoid about my webcam, I feel like someone is watching me through it so I tend to look at it and talk to it. I once straight up told it to go to hell and I make weird faces at it. I once went as far as to tape it down because I was so scared.
I see things as well. I always find something I love on the internet but in a matter of hours or days my mind turns it completely creepy. I see things strangely out of the corner of my eye. I see faces form in objects but when I look at it’s, they’re not there.
I hear things as well but only if there is noise along with it. I was in class the other day and people were talking and it wasn’t very loud but then other voices joined in. Same with music, I hear voices mixed in between the music but when I stop it the voices stop as well. I know it’s not the music. People read my mind. I talk to two girls in my mind called Ana and Mia, it’s just me talking but sometimes it’s not.
One part of me denies the problem but the other part is screaming that I do have a mental illness and that I’m crazy. But the thing is, I like it. Not for the attention, I don’t want that. It just fascinates me.
Any clue?
Seeing and hearing things are not normal. Nor is believing that people can read your mind or see you through your web cam. These symptoms are concerning.
It’s good that you recognize that a problem might exist. Your next step should be discussing your symptoms with a mental health professional. Ask your parents to assist you in finding professional help. Inform your parents about your symptoms and ask if they’re willing to help you.
Upon meeting with a mental health professional, he or she will gather information about your psychosocial history. It will help him or her to determine what might be wrong and what treatment is most appropriate. Treatments might include medication and/or counseling. Both of these could help you to eliminate these symptoms from your life.
You did the right thing by writing to us at Psych Central. Be certain that your next step is speaking with your parents and being evaluated by a mental health professional. I wish you the best of luck. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle