Tag:

VA

Sleep apnea and disturbing dreams.

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker April 6th, 2023

I suffer from sleep apnea and GERD, although not officially diagnosed; I recently retired from the military and there were “key words” missing from my out-process physical, so I cannot receive treatment from the VA for the sleep disporders or GERD.

I frequently become so fatigued at work from lack of sleep that once home, I cannot recall my commute ‘getting home’. I will wander in a dream-like state around the house until bedtime and not recall anything the next day.

Perhaps unrelated, but also strange, is that if I lie on my left side, I have difficulty falling asleep but I sleep more soundly. And if on my right, I fall asleep quickly, but I snore greatly and my dreams are vividly bizarre and disturbing. “left side dreaming” is more normal. Sleeping on my right side, I will dream in full color and typically have at least 4 of my 5 senses, with full recall upon awakening.

The trouble is, with such graphic dreams, the full sensory awareness of often gruesome scenes will stay with me the following day. One example is a dream I had (right side dreaming), where I watched a vehicle accident unfold. As the observer, I heard the screeching of tires, the clash of metal and witnessed the destructive effects in absolute fine detail of the collision on the bodies of the vehicle’s occupants. Approaching the aftermath, I could smell the mix of hot motor oil, gasoline and blood mixed with the engine coolant spilled at the site. These sensations stayed with me the entire day. I could recall at will, any portion of the dream as if it were a real incident I had witnessed.

Thank you for your time and attention.

First — Why are you driving? If you are so fatigued you can’t remember getting home, you probably weren’t in any state to be on the highway. Please don’t risk your own and other people’s lives this way. You have a serious problem and you need to get to the bottom of it before you hurt someone.

Please make an appointment to see your doctor. If possible, you need to get a sleep study done to ascertain whether or not your fatigue and strange dreams are indeed from sleep apnea. If they are, you might benefit from using a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) machine. A CPAP machine increases air pressure in your throat so that your airway does not collapse when you breathe in and you get uninterrupted sleep. If you try the CPAP machine for a week and the fatigue and disturbing dreams cease, that’s the end of the matter.

If the sleep study doesn’t confirm apnea or if it does and using a CPAP doesn’t help, please talk to your doctor about whether a diagnostic cranial CT scan might be in order. The sidedness of your dreaming and the multisensory experiencing of the dreams concern me. I don’t mean to alarm you but sometimes disturbing sensory hallucinations signal that there is something amiss in the brain. It just makes sense to at least check out the possibility with your doctor.

Please write back and let me know what you find out.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

April 6, 2023 0 comment

Job Burnout and My Employment

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker May 5th, 2019

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I’m an Air Force veteran… separated from service in ’95 honorably. Since ’95,I’ve been through 14 jobs all told (9 welding, 1 maintenance and 4 odd jobs for cash). I liked the Air Force(welding/machinist) job and a mining machinery job the best… I’ve been released from probation during the maintenance job and fired from a welding job two years ago over a dispute with the boss about timeliness/quality of my work(which he was becoming more critical about). Most jobs I’ve been laid off from; however three weeks ago I was laid off from my last job after an anger episode I displayed after a project I was working on needed rework when I made a mistake due to not understanding what was to be done.

My last boss and most of my supervisors agreed that I do good work overall (I hold a welding certificate from the state of Illinois and Missouri), but I’m feeling increasingly resentful towards my career field due to lack of work, layoffs,minimal pay/benefits when I’m working, ill equipped shops, a**hole type coworkers/supers at some jobs,etc. My wife is going through stressful times trying to help/care for her mother,who has some form of dementia and is uncooperative and combative in some instances… And our 16 year old son is having trouble in/with school.

All of this adds up to some hard times emotionally/mentally for me and all of us. I myself have noticed I’m getting a “shorter fuse” so to speak with my job issues.. and I don’t like it. I’m afraid I may already be unemployable since I’ve sent out over two dozen resumes/applications earlier this year and have attended six interviews with no results. Any and all words of wisdom,advice,recommendations,etc. will be much appreciated. Thanks for your help.

Yeah. Times are really hard for the trades. I do sympathize with how frustrating the job situation is. It also sounds like your house is becoming an emotional pressure-cooker. You’re angry. Your wife is stressed. Your son is having some troubles of his own. As tempting as it is to want to sink into a depression, it certainly won’t help. In fact, you’ll end up feeling even worse because then you’ll be depressed as well as jobless.

I have to tell you: 2 dozen resumes and 6 interviews is barely scratching the surface when it comes to serious job hunting. The rule of thumb is that unless you are making 2 contacts a day, you aren’t really looking. Finding a job is your job right now. That means dedicating at least 40 hours a week to the project by searching the job market, making personal contacts, arranging for informational interviews, and perhaps searching farther afield than you have been.

Or — maybe it’s time to retool. At only 45 years old, you have a whole career span (20+ years) available to you. If you go back to school to learn an additional skill set, you may make yourself more employable. If we were talking in my office, we would also start to brainstorm other job possibilities for you. Some jobs might be related to what you already do but I’d also encourage you to think about other options that you maybe never allowed yourself to think about before. If you’re on unemployment, there might be funding available for you to retool. As a vet, you may also have educational benefits coming to you. Do check with your local VA to see if they have career counseling or job placement counselors available.

We’re not done yet: I also hear you when you say that your “burnout” plus the home situation is resulting in a short fuse. It might be that you have more of a chip on your shoulder than you realize. People are surprisingly sensitive to when there is a powder keg in the room. It doesn’t make for good relationships with co-workers and bosses. An anger management group or a course in conflict resolution might give you some better tools for handling your frustration so you can be effective, not just angry. This would be helpful on the home front as well as on any job. Again, check with your local VA. They might be able to tell you where to get that kind of help.

I’m impressed that you wrote to us for suggestions. You are doing your best to take responsibility and to take charge of yourself. That takes some of the burden off your wife and it is a positive role model for your son.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

February 5, 2011 0 comment

Job burnout

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker April 30th, 2019

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I’m an Air Force veteran…separated from service in ’95 honorably. Since ’95,I’ve been through 14 jobs all told(9 welding,1 maintenance and 4 odd jobs for cash).I liked the Air Force(welding/machinist)job and a Mining Machinery job the best…I’ve been released from probation during the maintenance job and fired from a welding job two years ago over a dispute with the boss about timliness/quality of my work(which he was becoming more critical about). Most jobs I’ve been laid off from;however three weeks ago I was laid off from my last job after an anger episode I displayed after a project I was working on needed rework when I made a mistake due to not understanding what was to be done.

My last boss and most of my supervisors agreed that I do good work overall(I hold a welding certificate from the state of Illinois and Missouri),but I’ feeling increasingly resentful towards my career field due to lack of work,layoffs,minimal pay/benefits when I’m working,ill equipped shops,a**hole type coworkers/supers at some jobs,etc.

My wife is going through stressful times trying to help/care for her mother,who has some form of dementia and is incooperative and combative in some instances….and our 16 year old son is having trouble in/with school. All of this adds up to some hard times emotionally/mentally for me and all of us. I myself have noticed I’m getting a “shorter fuse” so to speak with my job issues..and I don’t like it.I’m afraid I may already be unemployable since I’ve sent out over two dozen resumes/applications earlier this year and have attended six interviews with no results. Any and all words of wisdom,advice,recommendations,etc. will be much appreciated.Thanks for your help.

Sometimes life truly is very unfair. You’ve had a lot heaped on your plate at once. The economy stinks. You wife is probably less able to be supportive right now because she is also trying to care for her mother. And you must both be very worried about how best to help your son.

Part of the problem with jobs may well be the economy. But you also have the integrity to see that you have issues that are contributing to your unsteady employment. I certainly respect that kind of honesty. You can hardly be blamed for being frustrated. But as you well know, how you handle that frustration can either help or hinder your employability.

You enjoy your work. You’re good at it. It’s a testament to your abilities in your trade and your positive social skills that you’ve been hired by so many places. That’s an amazing track record during these hard times. It says to me that you will find more work if you keep at it. You will keep the work if you also do what you need to do now to learn to manage your frustration and retool so you stay competitive.

I wonder if you are taking full advantage of the help available from the VA. You may qualify for educational benefits so that you can add some specialized skills to your resume. Do also check out www.vetjobs.com/ if you haven’t already. Meanwhile, look into whether there is a counseling center (either through the VA or a community clinic) near you where you could get some coaching on how to handle your frustration more productively.

Meeting with your son’s teachers and the school guidance department may give you some direction for how to help your son. Most important of all is to stay involved with your son’s life — both by supporting him in his schoolwork and by making it a point to spend time doing things with him. That lets him know you are in his corner. It might be helpful for you and your son to be more involved in his grandmother’s care. If the family works as a team, no one will feel like their needs are always taking second place to grandmother’s illness and your wife won’t feel like it’s all on her. Finally, many local senior centers have support groups for those who are caregivers of people suffering from dementia. Helping the helper is key to preventing burn out.

As daunting as this whole situation may be, your best bet is to stay active. You have several fronts to manage at once. Take a big step back and make a list of the things you need to do to keep yourself and your family in balance during this difficult time. A plan of action will focus your efforts. Use the period that you’re on unemployment to hone your skills or get some additional training. Show your son that when the going gets tough, the tough get going by using every resource they can find.

I do wish you well.
Dr. Marie

January 16, 2011 0 comment

Combat Vet needs help

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker November 9th, 2019

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I am a Combat vet, Iraq 05-06 right before I deployed I lost both of my parents within a month( natural causes) three weeks later I was in the thick of it in Bagdad, when I came home I was fine for about 4-5 months then I started getting depressed and having anxiety attacks. I sought treatment from both the civilian and military doctors, nothing helped. I just recently lost the last of my family, my brother due to cancer. I am still experiencing all of the symptoms and now I am starting to see things out of the corner of my eye, dark movements. I do not want to talk to anyone or be around people, I also find myself almost wanting to put myself in situations that that would give me the chance to hurt someone, especially when I am angry. I also am starting to have thoughts that (Not that I would do it) things might just be better if I were not around never been born etc.the doctors have given me all sorts of meds Cymbalta, Abilify, Xanex, Welbuitrin nothing helps “try Deep Breathing” “relaxation” whatever it doesn’t work. I know I need to go back to the doctor but I know all they are going to do is say ” try this drug, or try that one” what do I really need to do?

A: You’ve experienced multiple losses and trauma. Your whole system is saying, “Enough. I can’t take any more.” It’s understandable. It’s normal for symptoms to return. It hurts. It hurts because it is emotionally painful. And it hurts to feel like you’re losing control. Of course you’re depressed and anxious.

By all means, go back to your doctors for a medication evaluation. But I don’t think medication and calming routines are enough. I think you need the “talking cure” as well. Underneath the depression and anxiety is a layer of grief and rage. Although medication can help you feel better, those problems can’t be just medicated away. You need time and a safe place to mourn your family and to work through the trauma. If your local VA doesn’t offer group and individual treatment for PTSD, I urge you to find a clinic that does. Specifically look for a therapist who has experience working with military personnel. If you have a spiritual life, I also urge you to look to your chaplain for support for your losses. It’s especially hard to feel orphaned and without the comfort of family when we feel out of control, confused, and emotionally upset. Do try to remember that you carry the people who loved you within you and they would want to help you get to the other side of this.

Finally, make sure you are getting some exercise. As tempting as it is to withdraw and do very little, that will only contribute to the problem. Inactivity reinforces depression. A power-walk or run or playing a little basketball (or whatever other sport you like) can reduce your anxiety and produce endorphins that will help mitigate the depression. Unless your doctors advise otherwise, commit to at least 30 – 60 minutes of breaking a sweat every day.

Thank you for all you’ve done for the rest of us. I am truly sorry you are now going through such a hard chapter in your life. I do believe that honoring your experiences and your grief with time and therapeutic attention will get you to a better place.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

January 13, 2011 0 comment