I don’t see the point of living anymore: i’m here because i’m afraid suicide if the only thing that makes sense for me to do now, but am open to other opinions. first of all, i don’t believe in god, so there’s no spiritual theater that needs to be addressed. i was in an accident 2 years ago which led to 2 things: back pain and juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. i dont enjoy my life–i have more doctors than friends, my family is disgusted with how antisocial and isolated ive become. the only people i talk to are those i see online playing video games, my friends all go to school hours (if not states) away. i have a serious addiction to perscription pain drugs, which my parents know about and are disgusted with.
My family was my strength but my parents are now getting a divorce, my sister is a pathological liar (telling people she’s pregnant at 14), my other sister has turned to cigarettes to keep from cutting herself, my older sister has become the worlds biggest bitch but is moving away with her husband this week. my dad pops anxiety medicine 3 times a day and then scolds me for taking my vicodin, my mom goes to virginia every other weekend to meet with what is most likely her lover and asks me for a few pills each time before she heads off.
From these things i don’t like living anymore–i haven’t enjoyed it for years now and i don’t see what reason there is for me to go on. i’m not afraid of hell, the only reason i haven’t done it yet is because i could never put that on my family. i wouldn’t even try to make a statement–there wouldnt be a gunshot or a suicide note. id just go away somewhere no one would find me, and then just lay down and die. that’s what i dream about–the only way to get away from all this
If you are having thoughts of suicide, you should immediately go to the hospital for evaluation and assistance. This is imperative.
Many people who have attempted suicide comment that they were thankful to have survived. They were grateful because they had gone on to live a much better life- a life they never imagined was possible. I have heard this type of message from many people. There must be something to this.
Depression can make someone feel that there is no hope. Depression clouds a person’s judgment and because of this, depressed individuals often come to erroneous and incorrect conclusions. This means that depressed people often judge their reality incorrectly. The decision to commit suicide is usually a decision that is being made by a person who is in deep despair and not able to see reality clearly. It is highly likely, as with many other depressed individuals, that you are misjudging reality when you conclude that suicide is the only option for you. You are wrong. There are other options.
You feel that there is no other solution to your problem. There absolutely is. Most of the people who survived their suicide attempt came to realize that there is help for depression and things can usually get better. Many finally went to get help. Their message to others in similar situations is always the same “there is help available and I wish someone would have told me.” They feel so strongly about this message that many of these people dedicate their lives to helping others in similar situations who also feel equally as hopeless.
There are therapists who are trained to help you overcome your addiction and depression. With the right therapist, you can change your life for the better. I know that your family situation is not ideal but this is the case for many people. What you are facing others have faced and there is help for you if you make the effort.
You mentioned your family and how they would feel if you ended your life. Research shows that the family members of people who have committed suicide often suffer tremendously. They struggle to understand why their loved one chose to end their life and did not ask for help. Family members often blame themselves or each other for the terrible event and many families ultimately fall apart as a result. Please realize that with the right help, you have a high change of turning your life around and decreasing or eliminating your depression and thoughts of suicide.
Please choose to get help and heed the message of those people who are still here to tell their story of hope.
