My name is N– and I am not sure what’s going on with me. I have times where I feel has if someone is in my head or as if someone wants to kill me. I have urges to tell people (my sister, friends…) “they want to kill me” or “they are after me” but I don’t know who they are and can’t explain myself, thats when I just want to hide in my closest and curl up in a ball facing the wall. I feel like maybe they won’t find me if they can’t see me from the windows. Sometimes I can hear everything way too loudly and it drives me nuts. Sometimes I can have the feelings and emotions as if someone is yelling at me but I don’t hear them, I just block my ears and rock my body back and forth. I can hear the electrical static in lights, computers, televisions and more. There are times I don’t feel human and other times I feel like aliens are watching me from a space ship. I frequently have violent dreams and I wake up in a panic but most of the time don’t remember what I dreamt. When I watch television everything feels real as if I was living it. At times I imagine myself has the victims of what I’m watching or has the suspects (shows like Law & Order and Arrow) and the same for real life situations I hear about on the news or internet. The tricky part is that I can go a week or two being okay and then all of a sudden it all comes back.
I’m sorry that you’re having these frightening experiences. It’s important that you tell someone about what’s happening. It would be best to tell your parents so they can set up an evaluation. If you feel that you can’t tell your parents, then tell your sister or another trusted member of the family or even a school faculty member. It’s important that you tell someone about what’s happening.
You may be experiencing symptoms of a mental illness or possibly a physical illness. Those are possibilities, but without an evaluation there’s no way to know what’s wrong. An evaluation is necessary to determine what might be wrong.
During the evaluation, you will be asked to describe your symptoms. It’s important to be as honest and thorough as possible. Report all of your symptoms, just like you did in this letter. In fact, you might even bring this letter with you. It might make it easier to remember your symptoms.
After the evaluation, you might learn that you have a particular diagnosis. What’s most important is the plan for treatment. Your symptoms are likely treatable with medication and possibly counseling. The evaluator will discuss your treatment options with you and your parents.
Do not keep these symptoms a secret. I know they can be frightening but you need to tell someone. You want to do everything in your power to prevent your symptoms from getting worse. Good luck. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
