Ok…its a lon gone and hard to explain. My mother has just recently decided that we need to move four hours away from the town we live in now. Just recently a girl I’ve known an dated on and off for eight years told me she loved me. I have extremely strong feelings for her, and I think I might love her too. ONE PROBLEM- in about 6 months I’m going to be long gone and living in some po dunk town four hours away from here. I might not ever get to see her again! On top of the rest of this, my step dad and grandpa died about 6 months ago. Since then my life has gone completely downhill. I know I won’t ever get to see her again if I move and I can’t stay. It’s like I’m anchored in one place but and irrisistable force is forcing me in a different direction. It feels like someone is twisting my heart around with a piece of sharp ice. No matter what I do my life just gets worse, and worse, and worse!
The worst though is that I found out that last year when my mom put me on homebound and she didn’t see me for months, she tried to slit her wrists. So if I leave she might do something stupid…especially if she’d never see me again. I wouldn’t even have a way of contacting her. On top of losing all that Im losing by moving, I’m moving to a new town and going to a new school- we all know what happens to the new kid in high school. I just don’t know what the hell to do or why I should live anymore, why I shouldn;t just off myself. I just cant take any more stress or heartache or I might do something stupid because I dont know how to deal with this.
I understand that you are experiencing a great deal of stress. Nothing in life seems to be going your way. Please understand that life has its ups and downs. At this point in time you are experiencing several unfortunate and unpleasant situations. Yes, it is undoubtedly a difficult time for you but it is important that you realize that your situation will likely improve. You’re assuming, for instance, that you’re not going to like moving. Assumptions don’t always turn out to be true. The truth is that there’s no way to know if you will like or dislike your new town or school. Yes, there are some individuals who when they move have a difficult time adjusting, but you may surprise yourself and like it. Your move may not be as negative as you are predicting it will be. My advice for you regarding this matter is to stop assuming the worst outcome and to keep an open mind.
As for the girl that you like, there is no denying the fact that leaving her may be difficult. It will likely not only be difficult for you but as you mentioned it may be very upsetting to her, to the point where she might harm herself. Given the situation, it is advisable that you do one or all of the following: speak to your mother, her parents, or consult the school guidance counselor about your concerns regarding your girlfriend. The fact that she may harm herself is a very serious concern and not something you should be dealing with on your own. Perhaps if you and she had a constructive way to deal with the inevitable move, then it could help ease the transition for you both. I hope you will strongly consider informing an adult about the fact that she may harm herself.
I am also very concerned about the fact that you are considering suicide. As mentioned above, life has many ups and downs. It will not always go smoothly. That is the case for everyone. You need a better stress management strategy in place for when life gets tough. You may be considering suicide because you’re not sure how to handle difficult life circumstances. Please know that you can learn alternative methods for handling stress that do not involve harming yourself or ending your life. You can do this through counseling which has been shown to be very effective for many people. Millions of people are helped by counseling. If you’re not sure how to access counseling, then you should speak to your mother about how your feeling or go to a school counselor immediately. If you feel that you cannot keep yourself safe, then you should go to the emergency room and inform them about your plans for suicide.
Your life is likely going to change upon moving but don’t assume that there is going to be a negative outcome. It may turn out to be the best move of your life. The point is you don’t know what the outcome will be and you should not make assumptions. The smartest thing you can do now, as a mentioned above, is to speak to your parents or a school guidance counselor.
If you’re suicidal then call emergency services or go to the emergency room immediately. It’s also important that you have in your possession a number to a suicide hotline. Please call 800-273-8255 in the event that you feel overwhelmed. This is the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline which is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. Thank you for your question.
