From Canada: I am hoping you can point me to a direction on how I can read more about this issue. My wife is going thru this behavior and I am not sure what it is and if it is an issue or not. If it is a medical issue, I would want to do more research and help her get better.
My wife is very normal on most of the days. I have been married to her for almost three years now. Ever since our marriage I noticed that she has these episodes of low energy, anxiety, irritability, etc every two weeks. I can literally predict now when the issue will happen. When the episode happens, she will feel low, with thoughts of no purpose in life, wastage of life, not having any pleasure in life, etc. She calls herself ugly duckling.
Many times these episodes go eventless and she comes out of the state in a couple of days. More often though, these episodes become really bad. It usually is triggered by some or the other incident that on any other day would be very normal. When she becomes irritable, she will be very loud, very fast in thinking and speaking. She will bring out all the old incidents in random order and start screaming at me. She will start calling me with disrespectful names with words I cant even describe. She will call herself the maid or someone I use for satisfaction of my lust. These events are getting more and more serious every two weeks. They are becoming more violent, etc. She even refers to having to kill herself.
After the couple of days of above incidents, she goes back to normal and loving wife. She is very sensitive in general but those 2-3 days she will be a total differernt personality.
I initially thought this was bipolar mania depression but when I took the test on her behalf, it came out negative. It indicated some form of depression but was not able to pin point. I was wondering if someone can help me qualify the symptoms so that I can read up on the issue and prepare myself to help my wife out. I want her to be really happy and cant see her in such pain for those 2-3 days.
Please help
Thanks
Since you are in your 40s, I’m going to guess that your wife is as well. For that reason, the first stop is with her doctor and perhaps an endocrinologist. You didn’t mention whether your wife’s episodes correlate in any way with her menstrual cycle. It’s possible that she is perimenopausal and that her mood shifts are related. It’s important to establish whether or not that is the case before concluding there is a mental health problem.
I understand and appreciate that you’ve been trying to be helpful by investigating possibilities on line. But no matter how sophisticated an online test may seem, it does not compare to seeing someone who has 7 or more years of schooling and many years of experience as a mental health professional. If the problem were simple, you would have easily found an answer. Since you didn’t, it’s time to see a professional.
If she is medically fine, encourage your wife to make an appointment with a psychiatrist or psychologist. I hope she’ll let you go with her since you are able to observe from the outside what she is experiencing inside. Take as much information to that appointment as you can. (It would be helpful if you tracked the mood shifts for a few months and made notes about onset, behaviors, and when she gets back to her usual self.)
You are both suffering. There is help available. Your letter shows me that your motivation is there. I hope you and your wife can work as a team to figure out what is going on and to follow recommendations that may relieve you both.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
