Seeing a therapist for the first time can be anxiety-provoking. I’m not sure anybody looks forward to it.
Not only do you have to share information about your problem, but also the basics about your life — your family, your background, your relationships and more. With a stranger, no less.
Then, imagine that the first therapist you go to see isn’t the right fit for you. You’re expected to do this all over again — maybe more than twice.
This process isn’t easy, but these three things might help smooth the way a bit.
Before you go to see the therapist, prepare yourself. The first session with any kind of mental health professional is nearly always primarily an information-gathering meeting. They’re going to ask you what brings you in to see them today, and then ask a bunch of questions regarding your history, your family, your relationships and such. They will either take notes about what you tell them (in order to fill in some forms later on), or may ask if it’s okay to audio record the session (as some therapists find note-taking distracting to the client).
You’re in a safe environment. The professional is not there to judge you, and they understand if some things are going to be difficult or embarrassing to talk about. Rest assured, they are there to help.
1. Be honest.
You waste both your own time and that of the professional if you’re less than honest with them. If they ask you how many drinks you have a day, don’t paint a prettier picture than is the truth. If they ask how often you feel depressed during the day, simply tell them how it is.
If you try and paint a rosier or better picture of your life than it really is, the professional may believe you — and either mis-diagnose you, or suggest a course of treatment than is less-than-optimal.
2. Don’t jump to conclusions, but trust your gut.
Sometimes we let our first impressions get the better of us. When you first sit down in a professional’s office, you’ll want to take in their office environment. Is it welcoming and comforting to you? How does the professional talk to you — as a partner in your care, or as an expert who has all the answers?
What kind of relationship do you establish with the professional after a few minutes? Is it professional but friendly? Or is it cold and distant? Therapists call this “rapport,” and having a good rapport with your therapist is ideal for getting good work done with them.
Eventually, you’ll have to trust your gut about what it says about the therapist. But give them a fair chance before making a final decision about whether you’ll continue seeing them or not.
3. Be nervous, it’s okay.
It’s okay to be nervous if this is your first time seeing a therapist. That’s a perfectly normal response. The professional does this for a living; you do not.
If you find words difficult to come by, share your nervous feeling with the therapist. Remember, it’s a safe environment and they will not judge you for feeling that way. Instead, it will help break the ice, and lets the therapist know where you are with your emotions.
If you work hard to hide your nervousness when you really are nervous, you may become so focused on it that it’s hard to talk about all the things you’ve come there to talk about. And this holds true for any feeling you may be feeling — angry, sad, lonely, manic, or whatever. Share that feeling with your therapist — it will help.
It’s a difficult first step to make the decision to see a therapist. But now that you’ve made the decision, take it in stride and be confident in your first visit with a new therapist. Remember, you are the expert in your own life, but you’re there to improve some aspect of it.
10 comments
Very nicely written article for new clients to read. I shall pass it on. Thanks
Wow, these are some really helpful tips for getting through your first physical therapy session. I, like many people before their first time going in, am pretty nervous about physical therapy. But these are some really helpful tips, and I’ll have to keep them in mind as I speak to the therapist. Especially the first one; I feel like too many people are too nervous or upset to be honest with their specialist and tell them everything that’s really wrong. Thanks for writing!
I am about to try therapy again for the first time in about seven or eight years and I am terrified out of my wits. But This article definitely helped. They are there to help me and I know making that first step and realizing I need help still and making that appointment, Im that much closer to getting the help I need and changing my life for the better.
I think the hardest thing about going to a therapist for the first time is being honest. I’m a private person, and it was hard to tell a stranger about my problems. However, I do agree that it helps. It actually feels surprisingly good knowing that I can talk about these things without being judged. It also helps that my psychologist was a stranger. I don’t run into him at the store, and that helps me avoid the fear of being judged.
I really like that you say it is ok to be nervous as long as we share that with the therapist. If they know how you feel then they can help you overcome that. Is there anything that I can do before a session to help calm me down and ease my nerves? Thanks for sharing this helpful information.
Evaluating the office environment to decide to go with a therapist or not is a great idea. If you feel comfortable and safe in their office it will help the therapy sessions to go smoothly. It may help to ask them how they prefer to be contacted.
Telling the truth during a counselling session is a great idea. It will help the counsellor to understand your condition and needs. It may help to write your symptoms and feelings down before the session so you don’t forget to mention anything.
I appreciate this information about the things to remember during your first therapy session. It is good to know that honesty is important. This will help the therapist to more accurately help you. Something to consider would be to find a therapist who can offer desired aid for a price within your budget.
I would ask about the price too. I had 2 very good therapists in my life. One I saw when I was much younger and lived in another town. The other one lived here, but sadly he died at a young age. They both charged very low prices that I could afford – at least for a while (better than nothing).
I went to another therapist that was recommended to me but he scared me and made me feel anxious. Then I sort of ran out of money for therapy.
I am going to try the mental health services offered by the Catholic Church near me. There are MSW’s there and some phychogists. I thought they might be affordable and compassionate.
What do you think?
I’m going to see a therapist for the first time in many years and this helps to prepare me for my first session next week!! I’m pretty nervous and plan to write down things so I don’t forget them… I know it will be very hard to be open but I plan to because I want help!!