It’s the start of a new semester and time to go back to university or college. Sometimes it’s hard to get back into the campus groove, into the routine of studying, going to the library, going to classes, paying attention for an hour or two at a time, etc. Who can blame you? You’re young, your life is full of nearly limitless opportunity and excitement, and going to class can be really trying to your attention span.
Yet attend classes you must (well, if you want to graduate some day), as well as the joy of studying for exams and turning in papers. You probably know the survival tips I’m about to cover, but they bear repeating anyways.
1. Take at least some classes seriously.
Look, it’s college. I understand that. But you’ll benefit by discovering your interests and spending more time pursuing those interests — some of which are hopefully academic. So while you don’t have to take every class with the same gravitas, you should pick 2 or 3 that you’re really going to study for and take seriously every semester.
Especially as you enter your third and fourth years, you need to really begin to focus on what you’d like to do with your life. People who spend little time thinking about these things shouldn’t be too surprised when they find themselves living with their parents for a few years after college when they’re 25 (which, I don’t care how you spin it, is a little embarrassing unless it’s a part of your master career plan).
2. College isn’t just about studying (but it mostly is).
Yes, you need to study. Yes, you need to do papers and pass exams, of course. But you also need to explore who you are, what you want out of life, what kind of people turn you on (or off), whether they be friends, relationships, whatever. Sometimes parents take for granted that school should be all about studying — there’s always time later to enjoy life, explore your passions, have a serious girlfriend or boyfriend. What parents fail to realize is that’s not always true. It’s harder to easily meet new people for a relationship after college, and with the demands of a full-time job weighing on most college grads, exploring your passions will definitely take a backseat to the 9-to-5 job. Explore your passions, have a serious relationship or two, and remember to leave time for studying.
3. Appreciate the gift that college is.
One of the things few college students appreciate when they go off to school each year is the enormous opportunity they’ve been given. Despite the popular belief that everyone goes to college, that’s simply not true. For many, it’s unaffordable. For others, their grades barely allowed them to graduate high school. For still others coming from poverty, they have to go to work to help support their families.
Don’t blow your 4 or 5 years at an undergraduate university partying and not taking much of anything seriously. You’ve been given a fantastic, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to pursue academic interests of your own choosing. You won’t have a chance like this again, trust me.
How does this help your survival this semester? People who are grateful tend to be more happy, and a happy person is a person that is less stressed and more able to focus on things that are important to them. Like studies.
4. Drop those toxic friends.
Sometimes we meet people in college who become our friends. And sometimes their lives take a turn off the course we’re following — they’re hooked up in drugs, bad people, or have little interest in ever graduating. We may feel badly or guilty for wanting to leave the friendship, but you shouldn’t. Too many people spend far too much of their time (and emotional energy) tied up in unhealthy or toxic friendships that no longer serve any beneficial purpose.
The friend that calls you up at any hour of the night or texts you incessantly throughout the day about meaningless trivia, interrupting your sleep and your train of thought. The friend that always seems to need you to listen, but is never around when you need to talk. The friend that discovered the joys of marijuana and has basically given up school to smoke weed all day. The friend that suddenly has little time for you because of a fraternity/sorority, new relationship, obsessive studying, etc. You get the point. Drop them like they’re no longer hot.
5. Begin organized, stay organized.
When I worked at a college counseling center back in graduate school, I saw a lot of students who basically complained of the same problem that was holding them back — procrastination. Procrastination most often can be linked back to poor planning and time management skills, and simply not putting them to good use on a daily basis. These skills are learned and they don’t necessarily come naturally or easily to most people. But just like any skill, the more you practice at it, the better you get at it. Here’s a great article about procrastination to help you get started.
The other problem is that when you start the new semester, you are in the mindset, “Wow, I’m not behind on anything — I have all the time in the world!” That’s true. Then the first chapter reading assignments start coming in, and unless you start them that week, you already start falling behind. You rationalize, “No worries, I’ll catch up right before the first exam.” And then you can see how the dominoes start to pile up.
Here’s a bonus tip — don’t get sucked too badly into video games. They can be as entertaining as crack cocaine, but they can also be just as attractive. At least at first, as you try to get better at them, and maybe even use it as a way to socialize with some of your friends. That’s cool — to an extent. Don’t become that South Park caricature of an overweight young adult who spends every free minute in their dorm room playing World of Warcraft (or whatever) and eating Cheesy Poofs. Really. Don’t be that person.
Treat video games like any other distraction you enjoy (like hanging with friends, going on a trip, whatever) — do it in moderation and to an extent that doesn’t significantly interfere with your other social activities (which you should have) or studies.
Enjoy the semester!
20 comments
Interesting article, but I find parts of it really negative. I took great offense at the part about living at home when you’re 22–some people take 5 years to finish college, others like me have a mental illness that makes it difficult but not impossible and so it takes a little longer. Also, it’s incredibly defeating to say you’re unlikely to meet anyone after college as far as relationships go; that if you don’t meet in college, you’re destined to be single.
Get a better article.
I have to agree with the other commenter – this article was very negative and massively condescending. These “survival tips” did not seem to offer any useful information on how to cope with the dynamic environment that college is. It seemed more like clumsy advice thrown down from from atop an ivory tower.
The title for tip one set the stage: “Take at least some classes seriously.” I suppose Dr. Grohol is such an expert on the subject that he can make the assumption that you as a college student would rather take none of your classes seriously.
His over simplification of the complex social nature of college was patronizing and a his odd opinion of, “It’s harder to easily meet new people for a relationship after college…” was mind boggling. Does this Doctor know anything non superficial of the pressures caused by friends, family, sexual identity, low-income, shift/part-time work and college-based cultural trends? While it seems like Dr. Grohol suggests simply “manning up” or “rising to the occasion”, the rapid identity formation that occurs during college can leave a student ungrounded and unable to focus on graduating without error. The progression through college is what students simply work through, and not everyone can simply “keep an eye on the prize” at all times. Some falter for reasons unique to themselves and this “survival guide” downgrades those that experience this sort of situation. An article as crude as Dr. Grohol’s could potentially lead a student to experience additional pressure or feel bad about themselves for not being motivated enough, smart enough, or stable enough at all times during their undergraduate experience.
I will not even discuss the difficulties of balancing work and school, familial obligations and school, or intense interpersonal relationships and school. All I will say is that these interplays do exist on different levels for students of varying economic backgrounds, gender, race, class or sexual orientation and are not to be taken lightly. The experience of a student who works 30 hours a week on nightshift to supplement their families income is not the same as working 15 hours in the campus library. Dr. Grohol’s survival tips makes no mention of such dynamics.
Lastly, and I do apologize for the lengthiness of this comment, is the seemingly canonical attack on video games by an academic. I am almost certain the Dr. Grohol has never played a modern video game and is probably basing his “tip” on some stereotypes he’s distilled from research papers. Pitting “playing video games” against “being social”, as though they are incompatible, reeks of 1990’s sentiment.
For some background information, I am a recent graduate from a UC University. I received my b.a. in Sociology/Law and Society in 3 years. I currently live with my parents as I start up a computer software company and positive animal training company that was not part of any “master career plan” but the result of a decision I made after a period of post-grad uncertainty. I am 22-years old.
interesting article:) though i used to hate exams, i miss the college days
@unlisted – Sorry, I am writing a general article such as this to a general population, not singling out a specific issue, illness, or disability. Of course people who are grappling with familial issues, mental health issues, physical or other disabilities may face additional or different challenges. This article did not take that into account, for which I apologize.
@nx80_86 – It’s a blog entry, not a comprehensive research paper describing all of the intricacies of college life. It is indeed an oversimplification and advice targeted at a broad general audience. It will not fit every person nor every situation (nor is it intended to do so). Take what you want from it, discard the rest.
To you specific points — I went to college, too. I dealt with a lot of challenging life situations while in college, including working full-time for awhile (and I don’t sit in an ivory tower now, sorry to say).
College is indeed a part of one’s life, but college is never a goal unto itself — learning is. Learning a specific subject, learning about living, learning about relationships, etc. People can rationalize as much as they’d like why it might take them longer to complete school nowadays, but people facing adversity while attending college is nothing new. As discussed above, I recognize this advice isn’t for everyone or going to pertain to everyone. I couldn’t possibly include every adversity a person faced and a set of possible solutions to them in a short blog entry.
And of course, there’s nothing in the above column or advice that says you *must* complete college in 4 or 5 years. There’s nothing that I wrote that said you couldn’t take a year or two off if need be.
I also did not attack video games and, in fact, play some games avidly myself. I am also aware that some young adults do get sucked into the video game culture while at school — a lot more so than when I went to college. It’s a legitimate concern faced by some students. Minimizing it does nothing to help those who go down that road.
“People who spend little time thinking about these things shouldn’t be too surprised when they find themselves living with their parents when they’re 22 (which, I don’t care how you spin it, is a little embarrassing unless it’s a part of your master career plan).”
Ouch! You do realize that finding a job after college is becoming harder for people just out of school- especially in this economy? Or maybe you wouldn’t because God only knows how long ago you were an undergrad.
As a college student myself, I find myself living in the most unrealistic conditions in college whereas my friends who could not afford an education face real life issues that I could not even imagine myself in. I don’t believe I’d ever see you writing an article on how to survive being a single, just out of high school mom. Problems in college are stupid, like fighting over who’ll pay for the next pizza. I also like your advice on ditching “toxic friends” great, to me it seems like you think ditching a friend in a rough patch is a good idea.
As far as being 22 and living with your parents, that comment was cruel- especially because it is happening more and more people these days. My own brother went to a good school, received good grades, and had interned for the government can’t find a job. This isn’t a personal failure it is a national misfortune.
Wow! Such defensiveness…not very good for those who are reading the article. Much defensiveness=much close mindedness.
While I do agree that some of the article’s tips can come across as quite negative, there is much truth to most of them. Instead of partying, studying should take precedence as well as finding a serious relationship. When I attended college, not too long ago as I am now a graduate student, most of the time college took up my social life. Partying, lounging, having fun, etc. was not on my “to-do list” most days but studying was and finding a true friendship/relationship that could benefit my life in a positive way.
“Appreciating the gift that college is” is a very important tip. College is a gift, as many cannot afford to go, have the patience or even ability to stay, or the time. Life calls on certain people to pursue a job instead of college. Many do not have parents to pay their way through school, while they party and have fun. The pressures of life take that joyous time away from them. COLLEGE IS A GIFT! Make the most of it, learn the most from it, and come out feeling as though you’ve put in valuable time and will reap valuable rewards.
For some professions, college is the entry to a higher calling, higher degree, a higher career position, and higher pay. Take college seriously and benefit from all the resources you have there. Utilize your career services, seek internships for professional and personal development, even if your program doesn’t require an internship, utilize relationships with professors, good fellow class-mates, and mentors, and use some of your free time to make the most of your time. Partying and playing video games, if that’s what you like to do, is okay to release stress, but only in its proper place.
“Dropping “toxic” friends and relationships” is very significant advice. Those toxic friends may graduate with you, become a part of your life, and half destroy everything you’ve ever worked for. Again, college is a privilage. Take it seriously.
College should truly be seen as a “kindergarten level of development.” It should be viewed as an opportunity to grow, change, learn, and even fail so that you can step into the world, a job position, or graduate school half perfected! Blowing college is a no-no, and a no-win situation. Believe me…I’ve seen it happen to even the best of them.
What this article stated is essentially true and should be taken into consideration. As a former college student myself, I saw many many things that disturbed me about college life. No one took their education, studies, or time seriously. It was about status, social inclusion, fun, “living it up,” fitting in, and doing all that they could without parental rule. While this is okay in its place, college is not necessarily the place for this type of experimentation. You can do this in life for free!
College for them was an opportunity to be free from parental rule, have a false sense of freedom and adulthood, and have someone pay their way. No one truly put their time into developing as a person, as an adult. Becoming a well-rounded citizen was on the back-burner for them.
Don’t let that be you! Do something productive! There are many things in which you can get involved with to make your college experience valuable.
I wish my fellow-classmates had these 5 survival tips when we first started college. They were so lost in what to do with their time, and didn’t even recognize that they were.
Instead of looking at this article as a negative, take the pros and leave whatever cons you may see. In other words, “eat the meat and throw the bone away.” Take what you can from this article, utilize what you can, and ignore what may sound offensive.
Best of luck
In addition, I must mention however,living with one’s parents in today’s economically stressful time is acceptable. If saving money is the goal, do it! I don’t see anything wrong with that.
Some careers will almost force you to need mom and dad a bit longer, especially as a result of our current job market. My career is clinical and counseling psych, it’s stressful and the good pay is quite a few years away. Considering this type of situation and others alike, living with mom and dad should be acceptable, as long as you respect their space and will be willing to leave once you are stable.
I sort of agree with all comments, even the ‘negative’ ones. After all, this is PsychCentral, and not ‘Good Housekeeping’.
Most people who come here have psychological, or psychiatric issues, or otherwise work with those who do AFTER they had their own, or still have their own.
It is wonderful if a person has gratitude, but not something one can or should expect.
My oldest son just graduated High School, and he does not wish to attend College even if he has a College fund that my mother set up for her grand kids.
I figure, that is fine. He should work, or learn a trade, and then maybe he will change his mind after he has had the chance to live in the ‘real world’. That working also will benefit his self esteem a lot more than going to College.
I never was interested in studying Liberal Arts for four years and wasting my time with just more learning that did not apply to anything useful. So, I majored in Nursing, got a BS in Nursing with two clinical years in NYC, that were above fantastic. The first year was all science, and the last year I did in Vienna, Austria, to finish up my Liberal Arts requirements.
I see some good advice hidden in Katrin’s second comment.
Everyone doesn’t have to attend college. College doesn’t make you “intelligent.” I’m a firm believer that college only helps you to strenghten the skills you may have already had, and in some cases helps add to your pool of knowledge. Some students come out of college worse off than they were before they went in! Some graduate with a cumulative GPA of 2.0 or lower. Other’s graduate depressed and regressing to a younger stage of development, say teenage years because they cannot stand the thought of becoming an adult.
In short, college is good for those who want to go, can stand the pressure of going, can stand the studying, can stand the pressure found living and attending school with certain people for 4-5 years, and who are dedicated to surviving so that they can ultimately achieve their goal. That was me in college. I had to have tunnle vision, and remain a commuter in order to sustain my sanity. 🙂
Trade schools are sometimes better than certain college programs for certain kids.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that another good survival tip may include determining if college life is truly for you. Instead of following the rest of the “sheet herd” you may need to become a maverick and determine if college is something that works well for you. I’m not trying to be pessimistic or discouraging, but it is only realistic to mention that.
Good luck!
I meant “SHEEP herd.” Sorry for that. 🙂
When I re-read my comment, it seemed very straight to the point and perhaps a bit gloomy. But I assure you, I’m not trying to be “negative,” only realistic, which I believe was Dr. Grohol’s intent as well.
You can sum my previous post up to say: in order to survive college life… “know-thyself” and know yourself well!
Thanks, Dr. T. I agree my first comment was not too helpful.
A few years later, I did get am MA in Counseling psychology from the U of Oregon. Although I was at the head of my class, I felt I did not know what the hell I was doing when I graduated, unlike everyone else, who felt they were now experts. Even after another supervised Internship at the U of O Counseling center, I still felt my counseling performance was more a matter of luck than anything else.
Then, finally, I found the mentors and teachers I knew I could work with to become competent in the field I really was most interested in, and which was Group Psychotherapy, and Psychodrama. Another few years that took.
Katrin, your comment was fine. I was just pointing out some things I noticed.
As a student of counseling and clinical psychology, I do understand your past feelings of “not knowing what the….you were doing.” Most counselors and psychologists feel this way. Sitting under a professor who talks at you while you passively take notes, doesn’t always help you to capture the essence of your field or your profession in a way that helps you understand what you are to do. In other words, hands-on-experience usually helps students feel most confident (I know it did for me).
That is why I encouraged internships a few posts above. They are great for helping to build confidence, reassurance, and even expertise!
I would like to share something with other college students.
I received college credit for several courses without ever attending classes, saving me the cost of tuition and books, and the time to endure classes and homework.
I believed I had learned enough through my life experiences that pertained to particular courses so I created a portfolio of my life experiences and presented it to my college for credit.
It worked!
If I can do it, anyone can.
You can find out more at http://www.earncollegecreditnow.com.
Hmmm…it would be nice to find a serious relationship if you were allowed to. My parents don’t want me to be happy and keep me from finding anyone.
I probably couldn’t meet anyone anyway because I don’t have rich parents paying for a university education. Even with my scholarships, I still couldn’t afford it.
It’s two years at a community college for me. Yep, I think I’ll just give up on finding anyone or having a nice life…everything sucks. Got a 4.0 last semester…but I could really care less.
David, I really hope you don’t truly feel the way you came across to me. If such despondency is present, please understand that no person is worth your time or company if they cannot accept, respect, love, and care for the person you are, with or without money. Money doesn’t make you, neither does material possession. I know the world “praises” and “worships” these types of things, but they are only things, only material that can be destroyed or taken away from you at any moment.
If someone places that much emphasis on material, they are not worth your time. I hope you will remember that. 🙂
Allow me to give you another perspective about your parents. I do not know your parents, so my assumption may be off, but usually good parents who UNCONDITIONALLY love their children and care for them, want the best for them and that sometimes includes keeping them focused on acadamia, their future, and life goals, which can appear as if they do not want you to find happiness in a relationship.
All throughout my adolescence and college years my mother expressed to me that she wanted me to succeed and create for myself a meaningful life, which excluded actively pursuing relationships. Realistically, while relationships can be beautiful and fulfilling, they can also be destructive, hurtful, debilitating, and even dangerous. Perhaps your parents are trying to protect you and keep you on a sturdy path until you have achieved certain goals in your life. Many scientists, psychologists, and other professionals have had to delay immediate gratification in order to achieve. Your parents may be trying to help you facilitate your potential.
If this is not the case, then I can totally understand your feelings and would encourage you to let life happen. If a relationship occurs in your life, great! If not, life goes on…right?
Don’t be discouraged; when it’s time things will fall into place.
Dr. T, Thank you for the reply. I suppose I was just feeling really frustrated today, and I apologize.
Thanks for offering up another point of view. My parents have expressed that they wish me to focus on school, and school alone so I will do well later in life. I completely understand what you said about material posessions as well. I also need to learn to be more grateful.
After reading the article, I guess I was sadly reminded of the fact that a relationship is harder to discover and maintain after college. But, like you said, when its time, its time.
Thank you for the encouragement. I guess I just needed to “vent” today. Again, I apologize for the negative comments I left.
David…venting is alright with me! I do it too. 🙂
Sometimes our venting sounds “ungrateful” but it really is just an inspection of our true feelings. We need that sometimes so that we can re-evaluate as you appear to have done. You don’t have to apologize at all…we’re only human:)
I wish you the best!
Great advice. It seems like the major theme involves overcoming bad habits and just getting much more serious, but not too serious. Who you associate with in college can make all the difference.
Yeah…I may have skipped steps 1 and 5…
Will try to work more on those! Thank you for the great advice!