Sometimes I worry that society is becoming immune to infidelity and cheating in a romantic relationship. We hear things like, “Half of all marriages end in divorce” and “Half of people in a relationship admit to cheating.” We become desensitized and perhaps a bit pessimistic by hearing these disheartening statistics repeated over and over again.
It’s become so bad that some people are even making up statistics to either sell their infidelity-helping or infidelity-fighting services. For instance, one common statistic I hear thrown out there is that 50 percent of relationships involve infidelity.
Sadly, that statistic is not based upon any scientific research. It’s something marketing companies just made up and use to scare (or motivate) people into buying into their service.
So how common is cheating, really?
The short answer is, “Not nearly as common as you would be led to believe.”
I last talked about infidelity a few years ago, and why people cheat. But what I didn’t cover is exactly how common — or, to put it more accurately, uncommon — cheating actually is.
The Prevalence of Infidelity
Researchers Blow & Hartnett (2005) ((Sorry, I am not making their names up.)) took a comprehensive look at this issue and reviewed all the research on infidelity a few years ago. Here is what they have to say about how common cheating really is:
Many research studies attempt to estimate exactly how many people engage in infidelity, and the statistics appear reliable when studies focus on sexual intercourse, deal with heterosexual couples, and draw from large, representative, national samples. From the 1994 General Social Survey of 884 men and 1288 women, 78% of men and 88% of women denied ever having extramarital (EM) sex (Wiederman, 1997). The 1991-1996 General Social Surveys report similar data; in those years 13% of respondents admitted to having had EM sex (Atkins, Baucom, & Jacobson, 2001).
In the 1981 National Survey of Women, 10% of the overall sample had a secondary sex partner. Married women were the least likely (4%), dating women more likely (18%), and cohabiting women most likely (20%) to have had a secondary sex partner (Forste & Tanfer, 1996). […]
Compared with Laumann et al. (1994), other authors report significantly lower prevalence statistics. General Social Surveys conducted in 1988 and 1989 showed that a mere 1.5% of married people reported having had a sexual partner other than their spouse in the year before the survey (Smith, 1991), and less than 3% of Choi, Catania, and Dolcini’s (1994) sample had engaged in EM sex in the previous 12 months.
In a 1993 probability sample that included 1194 married adults, 1.2% had EM sex in the last 30 days, 3.6% had EM sex in the last year, and 6.4% had EM sex in the last 5 years (Leigh, Temple, & Trocki, 1993). These results possibly indicate that the number of EM sexual involvements in any given year is quite low, but that over the lifetime of a relationship this number is notably higher.
In general, based on the above data, we can conclude that over the course of married, heterosexual relationships in the United States, EM sex occurs in less than 25% of committed relationships, and more men than women appear to be engaging in infidelity (Laumann et al., 1994; Wiederman, 1997). Further, these rates are significantly lower in any given year. […] (Blow & Hartnett, 2005)
Another study conducted on a population-based sample of married women (N = 4,884) found that the annual prevalence of infidelity was much smaller on the basis of the face-to-face interview (1.08%) than on the computer-assisted self-interview (6.13%) (Whisman & Snyder, 2007). ((This intriguingly suggests people are more comfortable telling the truth to a faceless computer survey than to a human interviewer.))
Taken together, in any given year, it looks like the actual likelihood of your relationship suffering from cheating is low — probably less than a 6 percent chance.
But over the course of your entire relationship, the chances of infidelity may rise to as much as 25 percent. Twenty-five percent — over the course of an entire relationship — is a far cry from the 50 percent number we hear from many so-called professionals and services trying to sell you something.
And to put cheating into perspective too, the relationship (or one of the people in the relationship) needs to be lacking in something. As my previous article on the topic noted, these risk factors typically include: significant, ongoing, unresolved problems in the primary, long-term relationship or marriage; a significant difference in sex drive between the two partners; the older the primary relationship; a greater difference in personality than perhaps the partners realize; and having been sexually abused as a child.
Whisman & Snyder (2007) also found support that the likelihood of infidelity decreases the more religious you are, as you age, or if you’re better educated. They also found that the risk for cheating was greater for women who were remarried (compared to those who were on their first marriage), or for either gender with the greater number of sexual partners you have.
Types of Infidelity
Cheating comes in many different forms — it’s not limited to simply having sex with someone who isn’t your long-term partner.
Both the clinical and self-help literature reference general types of infidelity, including one-night stands, emotional connections, long-term relationships, and philandering (Brown, 2001; Pittman, 1989). However, most of the empirical literature does not delineate these types of infidelity, nor does it offer ideas on how prevalent different types of infidelity are or in what kinds of relationships they exist. […]
There is evidence that there are emotional-only, sexual-only, and combined sexual and emotional types of infidelity (Glass & Wright, 1985; Thompson, 1984). These categories are not necessarily mutually exclusive, and Glass and Wright (1985) explore infidelity on a continuum of sexual involvement and emotional involvement.
Further, within each general category there are different types. For example, emotional infidelity could consist of an internet relationship, a work relationship, or a long-distance phone relationship. Sexual infidelity could consist of visits with sex workers, same-sex encounters, and different types of sexual activities. (Blow & Hartnett, 2005)
Cheating is something to be aware of in any relationship. However, in most relationships, it is not something to be overly concerned about unless you have one of the above risk factors. Even then, the rate is half as what many marketers would have you believe — and that’s some good news for a change.
References
Blow, A.J. & Hartnett, K. (2005). Infidelity in Committed Relationships II: A Substantive Review. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 31, 217-233.
Whisman, M.A. & Snyder, D.K. (2007). Sexual infidelity in a national survey of American women: Differences in prevalence and correlates as a function of method of assessment. Journal of Family Psychology, 21, 147-154.
58 comments
This is in line with what I’ve researched and my life’s experience… About 1 in 5 men cheat… about 1 in 10 women cheat… far less than what you see in the media. Ask your friends, “How many cheat?” and you’ll get outrageous numbers, like 75% of all men!
The GOOD NEWS is that the vast majority of men DON’T CHEAT and the vast, vast majority of women don’t cheat. That’s really good news. The bad news (from statistics) is that the 20% of men who do cheat… get married. Almost all of them. And they don’t change their behavior after marriage. That’s sad.
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He told me by himself that he is sorry for hurting me, he was crying on my kneels that he is not good enough for me. He sworn with his life never to go back to his ex wife. Guess what happened after a week, we got married.
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Yes, maybe the number of people that actually cheat may not be in line with what is reported.
From my point of view, there are definitely many more that actually think of cheating?
Is flirting cheating? To some it may be but ultimately a good, strong relationship will give each person the freedom to sometimes do their own thing.
Quote: The short answer is, “Not nearly as common as you would be led to believe.â€
Interesting–all of my therapists have told me that it’s virtually universal and I should make my peace with it. Many of my friends have agreed–the consensus is that I’m dislocated because I prefer honesty in my relationships.
Everyone says “it’s just sex” and “get over your Victorian mores” (my therapist said that) yet I continue to believe that it’s about integrity rather than sex. I’m almost alone in this though.
I share your views 100%. I am 23 years old and have never cheated. Ever.
counseling is the worst of the worst, people who modeled counseling were serial adulterers and philanderers and they modelled “counseling” by their own behavior and reasoning. Government supports them and they got fundings and widespread opportunity to spread their behavior to everyone else. This is why researches always show inflated numbers, because that’s also the way to psychologically pave new standards in society and it’s becoming reality.
You shouldn’t put up with something that causes you pain. It’s not just cheating, try punching the counselor and breaking his/her nose and tell him/her that it’ll heal anyways, then tell him/her that the psychological effect of sexual betrayal simply won’t. That’ll get you arrested, so don’t do that, just remember that counselors are not worth anyone’s time.
My husband had an affair and I caught them in our house and I told him to leave. He lived with this girlfriend of his and I found a new boyfriend. We lived separated for years and once he abandoned her, my relationship with my ex boyfriend went south, because I secretly hoped that we might make it work. But I found out that he had an affair with another woman in the mean time and I slept with another man out of spite (I know, that was stupid!) and then we went to counseling.
Our counselor advised us to bring our lovers together in the same house, he just asked if the house is big enough, telling that we should let go our outdated notions of relationships and marriage.
Needless to say that we were both appalled but I was stupid enough to give it a try, worst thing ever, it caused a lot of damage. There’s one good thing out of it, I never trusted counselors anymore and I ditched both my husband and my boyfriend, I figured out that I should be alone and I stayed alone for almost five years before I coupled with a good gentleman with no emotions towards either my ex husband or anyone else.
My take is that counseling primarily depends on the way your counselor behaves or reasons. If you are dealing with someone who supports polygamy or relativizes it and tells you to get over it or tries to push it upon you, it’s impossible to have any sane discussion why you won’t accept to live like that, you were raised into an adult who views it as something that you don’t want to be part of and you definitely don’t want to bring your children and raise them in such setting. This is my personal experience and my own reason why I can’t believe that someone takes counseling seriously, my take is that you would better off counseling with your parents, siblings or good friends, preferably together.
Your therapist is a piece of sh*t, and I hope you fired them.
My therapist wife thinks your therapist is an incompetent putz who’s probably also cheating on a spouse.
Its about trust. You are about to invest the rest of your life with this person and if you can’t trust them then whats the fucking point. Stupid therapist is stupid.
And quote: “Sometimes I worry that society is becoming immune to infidelity and cheating in a romantic relationship.”
Bear in mind that television and movies (which many people confuse with reality) are universal in their acceptance & normalizing of cheating too. I’ve always thought it was self-justifying behavior on the part of Hollywood producers.
No data newer than 2007, or before the Great Recession began. Considering how many people have had to move for jobs, and how much the divorces have increased in the world I inhabit, there has to have been an increase in infidelity. There are too many interruptions in normal family life of any kind for there not to be, for the ability of two people to get together long and often enough to maintain a relationship is severely tested.
It is deeds, not words, that define people. Most of the time, infidelity can be discovered if people want to do a little searching. We are a monogamous species in general, so if you feel you are the exception, then find people who support your viewpoint that being intimate with multiple partners will not be harmful or disruptive to the relationship.
Fascinating how the person who engages the most deviously with infidelity is the most outraged when the partner being lied to is unfaithful in return.
Projection is a bitch, eh?
That’s not really true. I’ve had several girlfriends whom I discovered had lied to me and disregarded my feelings when it came to their interactions with other men, and I went absolutely NUCLEAR when I found out, even though I myself was being faithful and respectful to them.
You have the capacity and the proclivity to go nuclear on women. And you wonder why they cheat on you?
You think because a person explodes at their partner for being unfaithful that the partner’s unfaithful act is justified? Do you even have a brain?
Having accidently caught hub in an “emo”affair, has sucked the heart out of me for the last 8 mos, but it only lasted the 3 before that. This just stinks.
This study is severely flawed in that it relies on self-reporting. Whom they should have been asking is the subject’s’ siblings.
soap tv,–spreading the message of discontent and infidelity, family court,- where to go when you(95% women) want to “cash” in your marriage, it all starts on the street, just take a look at straying eyes, arm in arm “with partners”,anyway how can more men cheat when the same number must “by reality” have to cheat with the same number, unless its many men cheaters with just a few or one women cheater,how can the mathematics be different?
@jb – I had the same thought to start: shouldn’t the numbers somehow be the same?
But it’s possible (likely) that men can cheat with prostitutes or with unmarried women. Thus it would be possible for the percentage of men cheaters to be greater than women.
As you point out, another possibility is the women who cheat, cheat more promiscuously.
Ah, subjective opinion – now THAT’S what I call a “scientific approach.”
SMH.
Well, I think infidelity is becoming more common nowadays. Sometimes I ask the question – why did the two of you get into a relationship in the first place, when you know that you will still end up cheating on each other in the future?
Roughly 2% of couples get divorced in any given year. This equates to a divorce rate of around 50% over time.
The article says the number is less than 6% of couples in a given year have an affair.
That tells me that, over time, the number of marriages that will struggle with infidelity is quite high.
I’m not sure how they are doing their math.
I suppose some relationships encounter affairs in multiple years, whether or not they are known and rectified. Most marital relationships would usually only experience one single divorce, not year after year (unlike some affairs), accounting for the varying figures.
I also disagree with the article.
Just going on my social group, *every single couple* has had one or both members cheat at some stage. Or they’ve had threesomes. Or they’re “open” to sex with others. Or they’ve divorced.
That’s 100% fail rate on monogamy.
I felt awful when my marriage failed. Then one after the other my close friends all opened up privately about their own indiscretions. Only one of them has ever seen a psych, from my knowledge, and all of them deny any cheating publicly. But they told me the truth.
It actually helped me a bit to know I wasn’t alone in the failure of my marriage. I think society places way too much emphasis on monogamy for life, then blames the couples (especially the woman) when things don’t work out. Maybe monogamy never worked in reality – cerainly not for humans who now live 70+ years as a standard.
Maybe it’s time to rethink how we have our relationships and raise children altogether, and what we define as “moral”. And maybe it’s time we started being honest about the widespread failure of monogamy.
Monogamy has certainly worked for me and my husband. We’ve been married 32 years and neither of us has ever cheated.
Is that was he tells you? I eventually obtained sufficient evidence by hiding in a closet when I was supposed to be out and caught him… Best. Day. Ever.
You need a better group of friends. I’ve been married 35 years, and neither my wife nor I have ever cheated. Of the perhaps 300 married people in our social circle, we know of only one couple that dealt with cheating…And they resolved it and are now managing just fine. We’ve known about a dozen couples who’ve divorced, but cheating wasn’t the cause in any of them. Two criminals, a couple of severe mental illnesses, a few who’ve been unable to get over the loss of a child, one with a vile mother-in-law, and so on. Cheating isn’t universal. Not by a long shot.
But if people say screw marriage and everyone just goes around riding as many people as possible with never an intent for long-term relationships, that means, eventually, 100% of all babies that are born will be missing either a mother or father figure in their life. More and more men are opting out of relationships all together because they refuse to hook up with single moms and don’t want women that can’t respect themselves. This will lead to less masculine men and more females wondering where the “men” are at. This is actually already a problem
I agree on questioning the math behind these statistics!
Most polls give a percentage at a particular point in time. Depending on the aged of the subjects, and the length of time they’ve been married, this could wildly skew the results. For example, if the poll contained majority newly weds, they haven’t really had the time to become bored or to source another partner!
I’d like for these tests to have an age and length of marriage analysis applied. I’m sure that by the end of 60yrs marriage, the rate of infidelity will be a LOT higher than 6%!
This isn’t even taking into consideration the rate of sexual monogamy in the animal kingdom. Social monogamy is pretty common, but sexual monogamy doesn’t really happen – extra-pair copulations are rife. So there are plenty of other species pretending to be in monogamous relationships, but getting something extra on the side!
Relationships should be set-up as institutions for raising successful offspring. Expecting anything more is delusion.
The 6% figure relates to the percentage of relationships experiencing infidelity, IN NY GIVEN YEAR. So that number does accumulate over time, but the 6% is for a single year
Interesting issues here. We strongly recommend Peggy Vaughan’s “The Monogamy Myth” for a concise explanation of WHY affairs happen. It is a choice made by the individual, above all, in order to supplant or escape or provide some emotional issue. Peggy Vaughan was a decades-long leader in the field of infidelity and healing. Personal recovery IS personal regardless of whether the marriage ends or mends.
Laura
Executive Director
Infidelity Counseling Network
http://www.infidelitycounselingnetwork.org
I do think that the media, especially TV & moview glorify infidelity without any stigma attached to it. In a way they are conditioning the population to accept infidelity is fine and has no costs. The impact of such depiction on young minds could be dangerous.
Most women nowadays are the biggest Cheaters since they like sleeping around with all different men.
My husband went to the Ashley Madison web site which is a site encouraging affairs less than 4 months after we were married. He propositioned a coworker at least a month before that. We have an incredible sex life, we make love every day, on average, twice a day. It’s not just a quick sexual act, I don’t just lie there, it’s loving, sensitive, & passionate. I have not denied him anything he wanted to do. And I’ve always done it because I want to, not because I feel obligated, so he knows it’s because I love him and I want him. Everything else in the relationship is also solid & fulfilling. Yet he decided it wouldn’t hurt me because he was clever & I wouldn’t find out. He said he feels there is value in having sex with people you don’t know. I really don’t have any comprehension as to why he would do this to me, to us, especially so soon into the marriage. He is nearly 54 years old, was married for over 20 years before (unhappily for about 14 years of that) & did not cheat, was promiscuous in his 20’s, but when with a girlfriend did not cheat. I have done everything to make him feel how much I need him, love him, want him, find him attractive, find him sexy, I do all kinds of little things for him every single day. When he comes home I smile ear to ear my eyes light up, & I go up to him & we hug & kiss. So, I’ve been researching, listening to books, & can find absolutely nothing that even compares by example to the situation anywhere to help me cope. I can’t find an example of a man happily married with an extremely active, satisfying sex life, seeking out strangers whose faces he didn’t even see until he met them at the motel to have sex. He tells me it was exciting, his big thing is it was an ego boost, & his sole answer as to why he decided it was ok, was no one would get hurt, & it excites him to perform oral sex on a woman & get her off. To me this is excruciatingly painful, because I can’t understand why that would be exciting, or some unmet need, with a total stranger who you don’t even know, thst could have a disease. These women were with many other men. To make things worse, I was abused physically & emotionally throughout my entire childhood until I moved out at 18. I found my birth father at the age of 23, only to have him rape me on a daily basis for 5 months along with extreme physical violence. There was also an attempted rape where I was injured fairly severely by a coworker. My husband seems to be very empathetic, sensitive, loving, intuitive. I opened my heart to him, & he knows more about everything that happened to me than anyone ever has including my counselor. Yet despite knowing I’m a very strong woman, but still fragile, & somewhat insecure that he’ll look for someone else, he swore to me that he would never even think of such a thing. Now here we are. I found out about the first one immediately. 3 weeks later he had set up the next one with another woman. 3 weeks after I found out about that & confronted him with the evidence about the entire thing so he finally knew I knew all about all of it, he confessed to all, but at that 3 week mark, at work he picked up the phone & called another woman whose number he had kept that he hadn’t met yet. He spoke to her for 20 minutes on Friday, & then called her back the following Monday for another 15 minutes. He admits they were discussing sex, the size of his genitals, things he would do to her, & was considering doing it again. This would fly in the face of him thinking I would never be hurt now wouldn’t it? He said he wouldn’t have gone through with it, not after what he’s seen me suffering through, & I am NOT a stupid woman, & extremely intuitive, & I believe he is being truthful & he couldn’t have followed through with it…This time. But just the fact that he picked up the phone & thought about it again makes me sick. We have been married now 7 months as of today, December 3rd. I do have the satisfaction that I used to cell phone number of the second woman that he had set up a meeting with that hadn’t gotten there yet, it was set for several days away, I wrote a letter to her husband, printed out all text, her profile from the sex site with her photo on it, and the text that she sent me the morning I was writing the letter to him calling me a bitch, and basically thinking herself so deep into the ground with the things that she said to help me prove it was true, it’s not funny. She was completely stupid. She also is not attractive in any way, so I don’t understand my husband’s interest. That’s the only one who knew what she look like first. I went to her house, & I handed her husband the stack of evidence. No one deserves to be made a fool of like that.
I’ll keep this brief, but I went through something like this where I treated him like a king because I loved him.constant sex, fed him and loved him.in time, I realized he was selfish and it was just that I had a good heart. It took me years to realize this fully. To stop believing his excuses and see him for exactly who he was. When your in love you believe the best in that person because you know how well you are reading them and it’s sometimes impossible to see that maybe they aren’t a good person. After I went through enough, I just stood up for myself. He only starting tasting me better after I continually put him in his place. The problem then was I lost all respect for him and started to hate him. Cheating is selfish. I believe some people don’t cheat. I haven’t. But that didn’t mean that just because we bend over backwards to treat them perfect and amazing will change anything about their character. You’re just making it great to live with while he also still has his fun elsewhere. This dude isn’t good for your heart. You deserve someone that will love you in a genuine way.
*how well you are treating them. Goofy phone. 😊
You said you couldn’t find a reason for the infidelity. Not sure you mentioned your age but if there’s a huge age gap then that’s one risk factor that was mentioned. Also some cheat because they’re addicted to sex. If he’s sleeping with unattractive women then maybe he’s just addicted to it.
And treating me better.how appropriate auto correct puts tasting in place. Haha.
Infidelity in my eyes is never the answer. I don’t understand how you can cheat on your spouse or your boyfriend/girlfriend. Why would you cheat on the person you love the most just to get a little something from someone you barely know or who isn’t your partner? It’s one of the worst things you can do to someone!
Well most women nowadays are the Biggest Cheaters since they just Can’t stay with only One Man anymore.
The alternative explanation is that the people responding to online questions are more inclined to be putzing about online, and thus more inclined to have access to match.com and other cheating sites, than are people who are at Home Depot (or answering their landlines) and responding to anonymous survey takers. (Yeah…I need to get off this computer now.)
Hi John,
Cheating for me has something to do in how you are in your relationship. If you are doing fine with your spouse/boyfriend, etc, you will not be tempted of cheating.
The problem is that any relationship has problems, that is a fact, but the issue starts when you see in someone else the answer to your problems, that’s where all your problems will start.
regards,
Cheating is fairly common if 25% of married partners have done so (which does potentially add up to 50% since a marriage contains two partners).
This is an issue, but becomes devastating when a couple defines cheating as an “end of relationship” level event. If the couple can be understanding and forgiving, it’s less devestating.
(However, there seems to be a belief that somehow forgiving and moving on is akin to giving permission. A common ground must be found.)
With much more women Cheating more than ever is the real reason why the Divorce Rate is very much out of control today.
Let’s all pretend that the people asked to take the survey. Wanted to be honest about their infidelity. I wonder what the real numbers would be. As far as I know this is a shameful act that most people would prefer to water down or hide all togather. Unless they are placed under a lie detector test. So is to say what’s true and what’s made up
I’m ashamed to admit it, but ever since I read this article I’ve been beating my brains out trying to figure out what to say about it. I’ve also been engaging in the act of eating my own feces. The Dr said if I don’t shake this habit then I’m not welcome at his practice anymore….especially with the way I eat.
Hi everyone , I’m Isabella and I’m here to share my experience with you and to use this medium to tell everyone about Michael my savior. I’ve been seeing this guy for 6yrs and been spending all my money on him not knowing he has been making a fool out of me and scamming me. Thank God for Michael who helped me discover what I’ve been blind to see these couple of years , he was able to help hack into his phone without him knowing and all he requested for was his phone number. I got to discover a lot of things he has been hiding from me including a secret bank account that he opened with the woman he has been cheating on me with. I’m not ashamed to say this because I know a lot of people out there need this too. You can contact him on this [email protected] good luck guys.
Self reported stats even to a therapist are grossly understating the problem/percentages. Very few people who will own up to cheating even if kept private. The divorce rate 50% another 25% aren’t necessarily happy in their marriage but stay married. Generally, most people won’t leave one relationship unless they have another waiting. That alone tells you the cheating rate is much higher than reported. It is unlikely people cheat with multiple partners (serial cheating) especially as they age but it is highly likely there will be at least one person in a persons lifetime that they would cheat with (but remain married) especially those that become disillusioned with their marriage.
When I was 17 I joined the USN for a 3 year enlistment
During those 3 years I had sexual relations with over 85 women and all but three were married
My first sexual experience was two women in their late 30’s possibly early 40’s who picked me up hitchhiking in New Port Rhode Island and instead of them going to the jazz fest we ended up in a motel from Thursday until Sunday afternoon
Their husband were home with the rug rats and their wives were on a woman’s only getaway week end.
As a plumber the majority of times it is the wife who is home and the husband is working or in some cases out of town.
During my younger days it was unreal how many women loved to perform oral sex and as several stated they would do things with another man they would never dare let their husband know they were into as their husband had strict religious backgrounds and may have though their wives are degenerates for wanting to deviate from the “normal” missionary type of sex
No one would like eating the same meal day after day year after year and most women love to try something considered taboo
So, I would simply say you are wrong. Well about it being able to open just the webcam. I have had, and in-fact used one. It is called a RAT. For those that dont know it stands for Remote Administration Tool or the ‘T’ can stand for terminal. It gives them the ability to view anything about your computer. They have access to anything hence ‘Remote ADMINISTRATOR Tool’. So yes can access your webcam as you said, but it can keylog your computer getting your passwords, disable task manager, anything. I made an example for my cousin showing him what i could do. I completely over heated his computer with what I could do with a simple dark comet RAT. If you wanna contact me for more information my email is robertsteel685 on gmail.. Go ahead and email me your questions.
I was being cheated on by my spouse, till very recently that i was able to intercept his messages, call logs, I also got remote access to all his devices and social media. Mail Darkwebssolutions on gmail
How many people lie in sirveys and polls and what % chance that you got a group that was of those people that make your estimation perfect?
Take it from a guy who slept with lots of married women when I was younger. The biggest secret in human society is how many married women have affairs. Its a lot more than anybody realizes.
The obvious problem with this assessment is that it assumes people are being honest in infidelity surveys. This is highly questionable. In fact, one article I read said that when women are guaranteed anonymity in the survey, the admitted rate of infidelity increased by a factor of around 3! I think a better clue to the real rates is the number of people who are finding out that they are not genetically related to their fathers, which in some cases is as high as 10%.
I get what your saying. I totally believe men shouldn’t worry about a women cheating.
From going out many years and dating many women I found sometimes behaviors can be the reason why women cheat.
Most of the times it’s because men are losing their ability to communicate like their grandfather’s did when they didn’t have internet or cell phones.
I believe us as men have to step up to the challenge of building social power in our life to reduce from cheating. As well as reflect on what behaviors can cause women to cheat and I think we’ll be just fine.
The key is being educated in the subjects as well as talking Action.
Thank you so much for informing men the truth about dating and making sure they not worry because in some cases that can even cause women to cheat.
The data in this article is very out of date. It used to be a lot more difficult to cheat, as opportunities were not as easy to seek out as they are in today’s social media world. I would like to see some current statistics that include online gaming, online cheating/dating sites and the plethora of social media sites available. 25 years ago you were not likely to get in contact with your ex from high school and carry on conversations in text. 25 years ago, you had to look at someone in the face to talk to them and sell yourself. You also had to have opportunities by being absent from home or work to meet people and talk. Now you can meet people online and have entire relationships without physically meeting … and then eventually doing so.
Anyone that quotes sexual activity statistics from the 1980’s to illustrate a point about today’s sexual activities is crazy. Internet porn changed the game starting in the 90’s. Seriously this is crazy to think that the sexual environment before streaming porn is the same as after.
He used stats going up to 2007 and the 2005 one he used gets cited all the time in other articles talking about sex statistics.