What happens when it hurts too much to live? Can it really be too painful to live one more moment with emptiness, depression, and despair? Yes, for some people suicide seems like the only way out.
Not every person who contemplates killing themselves is truly interested in ending their time on earth. For many, suicidal thoughts are about escape — musing about the idea of leaving the bonds that bind them to other people, responsibilities to burdens, and the despair of what they can’t change. If they could just escape it, maybe they still could go on somehow. Not right now, but after a while. They just need to get away from it.
Suicidal thoughts and actions are also sometimes paired with strong impulses and low inhibitions. This can happen with drugs and alcohol, bipolar disorder, or any personality style that leans more toward action than consideration. When a depressed or desperate mood gets legs, a person could be in real physical danger.
These are all fictional examples, but you can see how impulse plus mood problems can equal suicide.
- A person in despair over a broken relationship sits on the train tracks where the train traffic is regular. They’ve had several beers and are feeling everything so strongly.
- A person with rapidly shifting moods has had a lot of problems lately. They are driving in their car and are thinking about what would happen if they slammed into a wall or tree.
- A person who’s had trouble in the public eye and a history of depression and drug use. They become sick of the daily emotional rollercoaster, grab their gun, and load up a few bullets.
Many people each day are walking around with enormous amounts of emotional pain. Living is difficult, they’ve lost loved ones, the future looks bleak, and they feel backed into a corner. But not everyone contemplates suicide. Some hold very strong religious beliefs that prevent them from ever taking any action. Others hold an important value on life in general, and can tell themselves that there has to be another way.
Sadly, many people do have very scary thoughts about ending their life. Some come very close to the brink of action before pulling back. Others only have fleeting thoughts. The “invasion” of depression into a person’s mind can make difficult things seem much more than just difficult — they become impossible.
They see no reason to live on after their spouse has died. They see no way out of their financial troubles. They think there is no more purpose for them after their serious injury or illness. This black and white thinking can trap a person into a narrow chute, seeing their demise as they only reasonable choice. And I’m not saying that the pain isn’t real or extremely intense. It’s the thought process and judgment that balances emotion, and depression thinking just isn’t straight.
For any of you who have been down this path, I invite you to add on comments and expand on this little post. There’s no way a few hundred words can do justice to the topic except to introduce it. If you are feeling strongly about suicide and don’t feel safe, I urge you to contact your local police or hospital right away. They are trained to help you get through your immediate crisis, and then get you the further specialized mental health help that you need. And for those I have known who have taken their own lives, your deaths have made a lifelong impression on me.
706 comments
Yes, there is such a thing as too much pain, and no not everybody is treatable, and sometimes it is better just to end it.
What’s wrong with ending your life? We all die anyway.
“When I die I shall be as I was before I was born,” Nietzsche.
I didn’t have any troubles before I was born, I wasn’t lonely before I was born, I didn’t hurt before I was born, I wish I had never been born, what for?
The only reason I’m alive is because it would hurt my family if I was to commit suicide so I live on and in misery I drink to try and forget about life but have to wake up
im 16 years old and the pain i experience each day because of past trauma is unbearable. its hard to wake up every moring and experience the same things over and over with no avail of getting better. i cant do it much longer, but im in therapy so i guess thats good.
You’re so young. Keep trying! Don’t give up. Realize you’re a valuable person. You are an asset to this world. You have intrinsic worth. Just keep going. You’re such a strong person. You’ve already been through so much, and you survived. You’re a survivor! Such great qualities are within you. Please try to see how wonderful you are!
I want to second Emily’s encouragement to you Mason, especially since you are a child of God and beloved and valued brother to all of us.
I am 52 and this is so raw to me. I have suffered depression my entire adult life, and i also have boarderline personality disorder. My very existence in an unendig nightmare that i never wake from. I am totally alone, other than my dog. I don’t have anyone to give me a hug, or to tell me things will be ok. I have tried to end my life more times than i can remember. I get profesional help, but honestly it doesn’t help me. I have hated being alive, and the dread that fills me with every failed suicide. I recently did a go fund me on facebook to ask for some financial help. Of all the billions of people that use facebook, not one single person has a ounce of kindness. I told my story, exposing my vulnerability. Nobody cares one tiny bit. I have realised by this why i hate people so much. This world is a Hatefull place, and it is humans that have made it this way. I have a new plan to leave this hell. I can’t wait to be finally free
Hi mark…the only reason I remain alive is for my 3 rescue dogs, 12 rescue bunnies and 10 rescue guinea pigs. Every day I wake up, I’m pissed that I didn’t die in my sleep. I have no friends and my 2 sisters in other states don’t communicate with me. I’m 62, never had kids, the more I know people, the more I like my pets. I have medical issues causing most of my suicidal depression, and I can’t get medicine for my medical problems.
I know that this doesn’t ease your emotional pain, but I want you to know that you are loved and valued, and that the world’s coldness doesn’t reduce God’s love for you. I also relate very closely to your relationship with your dog, and consider the love of pets an important gift, so please always consider your dog’s love as well.
Many of us didn’t get what we needed as kids or as adults leaving us feeling deprived, empty and alone. The good news is that there is a way to feel love and that life has meaning that is completely within our control. We can give love. We can ease suffering. We can help. Homeless shelters, schools, prisons, etc. are full of suffering people. Read to a foster child, write to a prisoner, volunteer in a soup kitchen. The ways to ameliorate suffering are endless and the gift to your own heart deeply palliative. Suicide loses its appeal and urgency when you spend your time thinking about and helping others.
I’m 67, my son robbed me of all I had, one year and 5 months ago. I’m at a homeless shelter, I’d rather be dead than live like this. Counselor’s tell me I’m complaining too much and everybody treats me like trash because I’m homeless. I worked and paid taxes, I’m not a chronic homeless person. I gave my dog away before a failed suicide attempt. I can’t see any reason to put myself through this. Living is not worth the pain I’m in.
These very serious appeals for help absolutely require professional assistance! Relying only on our responses is at best inadequate, and even potentially dangerous! Whoever is responsible for this website, please monitor this thread and respond appropriately!
If society wishes to understand suicide, then listening may be one way to do that.
Remember, suicide is not always taboo, but it seems easier for society to understand if it’s done in groups:
the Jewish people at Meggido rather than become Roman slaves and see their wives & daughters raped, the people on the slave ships leaving Africa jumping ships chained together, the people who jumped off the Twin Towers on 9/11, etc.
Mankind has a long history of socially acceptable suicide.
You mention calling the police or a hospital for help. WHY??? They help with NOTHING. All they do is ruin lives. They stick you in a cold room, wearing nothing but a paper gown, for days. They give you no words of encouragement, no words of hope, and least of all, no fvckin’ realistic answers. They tell you pray (as if that wasn’t one of the first steps you tried). They stick you on a medication, that you end up bound to for the rest of your life. They mark your medical records with the effect but never the cause because you’re supposed to be able to handle anything and everything negative with a smile on your face. It seems to me that calling 911 is just a precursor to Hell itself. 911 never helps, they just start the ball rolling on the utter destruction of whatever reason you had left to keep breathing. But don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried the side prevention lines before. And after an hour on the phone with them, they had zero answers, resulting in what seemed like a million rounds of “I don’t know what to tell you. But do you think you will be ok tonight? Or do I need to call the prince to send them to your location?” I told here to save her threats of sending the police to “help” me. It’s always so disgusting to hear people suggest these horrible ideas. It most certainly spells out, clear as day, that the person that’s giving me these suggestions, has no earthly clue what the hell I’m going through.
For some suicidal people, no not all suicidal people, but for a small handful of them, yes, suicide actually is the best answer.