When someone famous — in this case, a technologist — takes their own life, a lot of hand-wringing and second-guessing occurs. It’s called survivor guilt, and virtually anyone who’s ever known someone who’s died by suicide has gone through it.
“Why didn’t I see the signs?”
“Why didn’t I just listen more?”
“Why didn’t I just reach out and ask him if he needed some help?”
The list of unanswerable questions is never-ending.
But here’s the thing — you can’t always see suicidal intent. You can review all the checklists and warning signs in the world, but if a suicidal person is clever and dedicated enough to his or her goal, you’ll never see it coming.
Because feeling suicidal isn’t the same as when someone cries when they’ve physically hurt themselves. The crying, if done at all, is done on the inside — far removed from everyday life.