I spent last week on vacation in the countryside known for some of the best wines in all the world, outside of Bordeaux, France. International travel is such an eye-opening and rich cultural experience, I encourage anyone to do it sooner rather than later in one’s life, even if it’s not for very long or very far. Every culture has something to offer each of us.
There are also so many stereotypes and generalizations that get blown away whenever you have the opportunity to actually spend some time with another country’s people and immerse yourself in their ways. France is like that (at least outside of the big cities). You can’t just do things “your way” in France — you have to bow to their culture and traditions, because there’s very little alternative.
Take eating, for instance. They take eating very seriously and spend a great deal of their day (compared to most Americans) engaged in it. Lunch and dinner typically will run about 2 hours each, dinner sometimes even longer if you’re with a large group of friends or family. And that doesn’t even count preparation time, if you’re cooking at home. In comparison, my wife and I spend probably less than an hour a day eating. And when I say “eating,” it’s a bit of a misnomer, because obviously people aren’t stuffing their faces for 2 hours straight. Meals are slow, course-based, and meant to be enjoyed fully with plenty of conversation, great wine, and leisure. The French might say you shouldn’t rush the gastronomic process, and after having experienced their way of approaching it, I’d have to agree. They have elevated food and wine into an art form, and it was wonderful. (The biggest adjustment for this American was learning that there’s really no equivalent to taking things “to go” in your car — no food, no beverages; the French, in the country anyways, don’t eat or drink in their cars like we do here in the States.)
In fact, once you get outside of the big cities in France, you are transported to an entirely different world — one of another time. Their vast countryside is largely unspoiled from anything resembling a housing development and instead is dotted with charming old towns that have a clearly defined town center, connected by roadways that are in excellent condition. Speaking of the roadways, everything in the region we traveled was impeccably well-marked and obsessively consistent, right down to every tourist destination. On coming home, I began to pity any tourist looking for a popular tourist destination, or understanding which way to go when they come to an intersection.
France has a large cache of castles (called châteaux in French), some of which are in amazingly good condition for being hundreds of years old. They also have a surprising set of pre-historic sites, such as the cave at Lascaux which houses drawings thought to be at least 16,000 years old. Other places in the region house dwellings carved out of a mountainside where an ancient town that may have housed hundreds of people once existed. There’s even an amazing underground river (Gouffre at Padirac) that is such a spectacular experience to behold, I still think about the thousands of years those caverns took to carve out. In other words, there’s no lack of things to experience and behold in this area of France.
Some Americans have a serious misperception about the French and our own short history. Americans sometimes focus on what we did for the French by entering the European Theater in WWII and helping beat back the Nazis. Yet just 170 years earlier, without the French government’s help, it’s unlikely our own American Revolution would have been successful. Without the French, America as it exists today might never have been. So both countries have a lot to be both grateful and thankful for the other’s involvement. And as long as you make an effort with the French language, I didn’t encounter a single stereotypical “rude” person in France. They were the nicest, friendliest people I’ve met anywhere.
My trip really got me thinking about how two countries with such intertwined histories could be so very different nowadays. France has a lifestyle that is laid-back and seems to be more focused on enjoying life and the simple pleasures it holds (again, this is outside of the big cities, which seem to be just as hectic as any big city in the world). Yes, there’s work to be done, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a good meal with our friends and family and take a moment to just pause. (They take lunch so seriously, most shops in the countryside towns close for 2 hours during the lunchtime period.)
For this slower pace and, I believe, greater appreciation of the natural flow of life, I envy the French. We have so much in America — so many big cars and SUVs rushing on so many roads to buy even more stuff from Wal-Mart we may not really need to take back to our cookie cutter suburban homes. I’m deeply appreciative of the “American way” of life. But I’m also keenly aware of how much of our modern American society focuses a little too much on the materialistic, the individual achievement in work, the focus on always attaining more, bigger, better.
The French aren’t perfect, they have their own failings as well. It’s just seem like they’ve struck a certain balance with life and nature that is very different than our own. And while I wouldn’t say it’s “better” than our own, it did speak to me on a level other cultures haven’t always reached for me. It also made me re-examine my own life and try and re-prioritize certain things, perhaps finding a balance of my own making that sits better in my soul.
Slow down. Relax. Enjoy your meal. 🙂
4 comments
yeah the french are different. glad you can speak their language–it helps alot. great blog. now that you wrote about your vacation on your business website is it tax-deductible?
my favorite quotes about france came from adam somebody in the new yorker magazine who wrote at length about the differences between parisians and new yorkers. perhaps that’s too provincial for you bostonians. anyway, adam wrote about the different views on pregnancy where in america we dote on our babies and the process the french largely view pregnancy as an obstacle to sexual intercourse and smoking. made me laugh.
best regards, pi
I really enjoyed your picture of the chateau on the hill at the top of your blog. It reminded me of the trips I have taken to France (particularly Paris and the Normandy Coast). I immediately went to my albums containing the hundreds of pictures I had taken on those trips. Traveling (in particular, getting away from the known and familiar) can have the effect of not only slowing us down but also energizing and exciting us with it’s sense of adventure as well as reorienting us to the priorities and preferences we have for our lives. I particularly look forward to getting away from the culture of technology and the demand to be available to everyone 24/7 through the use of technology (i.e. cell phones, BlackBerries, e-mail,phone, FaceBook). Technology is helpful but, ultimately only provides the illusion of connection and relationship. Our world is filled with too much “electronic” noise and I appreciate the face-to-face connection that comes with eating together. As such, I have come to see the opportunity to eat with others (“to break bread with others”) as an opportunity to not only feed my body but also to feed my heart and spirit.
I enjoyed reading your perspective on the typical country French lifestyle and attitude. After many visits to Provence and other southern France locations, I bought a home in Normandy, a location I had never even been prior to my search for a house there, which actually only took me five days.
It was a lengthy process to purchase a home in France, longer than one might expect in the States and the banks are far more conservative when lending money, but after five months, we finally passed papers. Our plan was to lease the house during the rental seasons and use it as our vacation home during the months it was vacant.
My husband had never seen the house or been to Normandy, but after once visiting our new home together, we knew we must divest ourselves of all the useless “stuff” we have accumulated over the years and begin the next exciting chapter of our lives living in France. The lifestyle is, as you described, so very different from here in the States, and to my husband and I, far preferable. Here in the States, I must drive 10 miles each way for a baggette, or anything else for that matter. With a population of 6,000, the town where I live in the States once contained a pharmacy, a hardware store, a clothing store, acoffee shop, and a gas station. CVS bought out our pharmacy, to eliminate competition with their new store in the next town (6 miles away), Dunkin Donuts bought the coffee shop simply to eliminate competition, and Home Depot put the hardware store out of business. My property taxes have gone from $800.00 a year to $4000.00 a year since 1981, the roads are in dangerous disrepair, not only in my town, but it seems everywhere I go here and, yes, the signage is abomidable. The drivers on the roads are homicidal/suicidal as evidenced by their dangerously aggressive behaviors, and the people who work in stores and other service industries, lack even common manners and courtesy and, in fact, are utterly rude and unpleasant.
In France the roads are, as you say,impeccably maintained, no one feels the need to drive huge, useless, gas guzzling vehicles, the communities (villages, towns, hamlets) are self sustaining, and health care is amazing.
As an American who travels abroad, I am aware of the propaganda Americans are fed by government and the media, to the contrary. As for the French people, I love them! I have never once been treated rudely when in France. Here in the States, it seems I never leave the house without experiencing some instance or situation demonstrating the rudeness and essentially free-floating rage that permeates the population here. In France, I walk into my local Tabac and every person in the place, people who have never seen me before, greets me with a cheerful Bonjour, Madame. The graciousness of the French people is as clearly evident in their driving habits. No one is racing to go anywhere. On the highways, drivers stay to the right, EXCEPT when passing another vehicle, and once passed, they quickly return to the right.
As for the language, I barely speak a word, but I am determined to learn and no one seems to appreciate that more than the French. I have, for the most part, experienced them as delighted to help you learn their language and equally excited to have the opportunity to use their own English while helping you with your French.
The food? Don’t even get me started on that subject! Yes, indeed, Viva la France!