Why do people swear? Why does using a swear word make us feel better? How do we choose which word we use?
Luckily for you, the Association of Psychological Science’s Perspectives on Psychological Science just published an article that answers these important scientific questions in an article by Timothy Jay (2009). If swear words hurt your eyes, you may want to stop reading now.
Jay notes that swear words (or taboo words, as he calls them) can include sexual references (fuck), those that are profane or blasphemous (goddamn), scatological or disgusting objects (shit), animal names (pig, ass), ethnic/racial/gender slurs (fag), ancestral allusions (bastard), substandard vulgar terms and offensive slang. Taboo words can be mildly offensive to extremely offensive, and people will often use a more mild euphemism to replace a swear word when in mixed (or unknown) company.
How do we choose what word to use and when? We make choices about which word to use depending upon the company we’re in, and what our relationship is to that company, as well as the social setting. We’re more apt to use less offensive terms in mixed company or in settings where more offensive swear words might result in recrimination (such as work). For instance, people are more comfortable and are more likely to use technical terms for sexual references in mixed crowds, and to reserve the taboo words for same sex crowds or with their sexual partner. Most people feel uncomfortable saying, “Fuck” in a business or public crowd, instead falling back on less offensive words like, “Damnit.”
As Jay notes, “Swearing is like using the horn on your car, which can be used to signify a number of emotions (e.g., anger, frustration, joy, surprise).”
Taboo words can be used for a variety of reasons, including to achieve a specific reaction from others. Swearing injects a direct, succinct emotional component into the discussion, usually in order to express frustration, anger or surprise (up to two-thirds of our swearing is for just such expressions). These insulting swears can be name calling or wishing someone harm, so it’s no wonder they are often a defining feature of hate speech, verbal abuse, sexual harassment and obscene phone calls.
Swearing is beneficial in ways that people may underestimate or take for granted. Swearing is often cathartic — it often frees us of the feelings of anger or frustration we hold and allows expression for them. It can also be a useful substitute to physical violence (who would rather be punched out than to withstand being sworn at?).
Swear words can also be used in a more positive manner, in the form of jokes and humor, sex talk, storytelling, self-deprecation or even social commentary. Imagine when you want to emphasize how great you feel something is, a swear words emphasizes the positive feelings you have for that object, situation, person or event (“This concert is fucking awesome!”). Sure, we could just say “This concert is awesome,” but the addition of the swear word emphasizes the emotional reaction we have toward it — and easily conveys that emotional reaction to others.
Virtually all people swear, and people swear pretty consistently throughout their lifetime — from the moment they can speak to the day they die. Swearing is almost a universal constant in most people’s lives. Research, according to Jay, has shown we swear on average from 0.3% to 0.7% of the time — a tiny but significant percentage of our overall speech (frequently-used personal pronouns occur at approximately 1.0% rate in speech). Swearing is more common than you might think. But personality research suggests that people who swear more, not surprisingly, score higher on traits such as extraversion, dominance, hostility and Type A personalities. Swearing is not just for the uneducated or people of a lower socioeconomic class — it knows no social boundaries in its expression.
Swearing is a natural part of human speech development. We learn which words are taboo and which words are not through our normal childhood development. We also learn that not all swear words are equal, as Jay notes — “Fuck you! represents a greater level of anger than crap!” We then learn that we may be able to say a swear word in one social context, but not another.
Jay’s article was a bit of an eye-opener for me as well, as I didn’t know that swearing was really as commonplace as he notes, and I never much considered the beneficial effects of swearing. Jay calls on more psychological research to be done on this topic, and after reading his article, I’d have to agree.
Reference:
Jay, T. (2009). The utility and ubiquity of taboo words. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 4(2), 153-161.
124 comments
Many years ago (when I was in high school) I was interested in this topic, and found a journal devoted to swearing, including both why and how to do it. I just checked and they exist online: http://sonic.net/maledicta/
I always felt that when people use the really bad swear words in front of me, while talking, and not necessarily directed toward me, that it was a form of disrespect as well.
I agree with you 100% Cyndi! I am so sick and tired of the term “Freedom of Speach†being misused when someone wants to curse! For the most part People do Not respect one another now a days. This is reflected in All areas of life.
My father use to say “Someone that feels a need to use curse words all of the time is someone that is Under Educated and they do not know how to articulate properlyâ€.
I should add that today there are well educated people that have chosen to use gutter language instead of proper English….or Spanish or French or which ever language they are fluent in.
Being educated in both the US and the UK I delight in calling someone an ass. Only I know what I mean. Just sharing… And I also think that studying of sweard words should be viewed in the context of phatic language studies; expressions such as F… off! Go to Hell! belong, after all, to the same group as Good Bye! Go in Peace! though situated on two opposite emotional exteremes.
There’s a certain anglo-Saxon word that i truly hate, even tho’ I use of a lot of other ones … could some of them work partly becuase the sounds? Anyway, I think that how we swear when frustrated or surprised (dramatic monologue)may well be cathartic. Fun. Expressive.
But …
Cussing out another person -face to face – is aggression. Throwing a gross insult designed to humiliate is actually likely to escalate anger, and lead to violent or other disruptive behavior as the insulted person tries to repair his/her feelings – often by “getting even.” No I can’t cite research, but have seen this in in adolescents and adults, males and females. And blowing your horn – except to warn someone of a hazard – is aggressive and very likely to elicit aggressive behavior in response ( road rage).
Interesting…and a confirmation of what I’ve suspected all along. My mother’s favorite was s___t….which I also used to expiate anger, frustration, annoyance and impatience.
Then, when I went off to college, I found that on my very first day, everyone was using the f-word….alot! I couldn’t believe it! We never used that word in my family..and suddenly, it was a very cool expletive. Nowadays, I still consider it a bit extreme…but suitable when I’m “in extremis”.
In my courses on “Overcoming Intolerance” there are numerous examples of rising incivility in America. Obviously swear words are meant to hurt. That’s why we reserve them particularly for people who are “different” and thus inferior to “us”. In my work with students in elementary school we often discuss “bullying” patterns. Kids are prone to use hurtful words to put down or humiliate those who are different and often ostracised. While pre-teens and teens are inclined to revel in using swear words to show how “tough” they are, in reality many emotionally wounded youth never recover from their inability to cope with distress by remaining “permanently wounded” angry and prone to aggressive or even violent behavior. This is why we created Coping Skills for Kids project Online, to help pre-teens develop healthy and effective ways to get over their pain rather than convert it into hurting themselves and others.
I can’t believe this shit. 🙂 t
I think swearing is a unconscience way of one expressing their self in a negative way useally in conjuction to a unpleasant experience. It allows one to verbally release or let out what was the cause of them to feel bad or uncomfortable.
I agree, cursing is a form of ignorance and belief that the use of curse words and meaning to what one is saying, however in my opinion it show just how ignorant the person really is
Unfortunately, those who are ‘professionals’ in our society throw around ‘according to research’, which the general public normally has no idea or any type of validation of what all that ‘research’ indicates; how many were researched? What age group was researched? What area was researched? Its interesting that some of the most powerful and influential people I have met–millionaires and yes, high ranking military personnel, normally do not use profanity-or at least as leverage, because they have earned TRUE respect. I’ve often found that in reality, people use profanity (strong language) to get people to listen, to show power. In reality, it seems it is a show of weakness, and who is NOT in charge. Apparently the idea of “I have to use something different and explosive to get people’s attention” is what people fall back on as a security blanket. For the most part, people can use all kinds of ideas, psychological jargon, and other trappings to justify just about anything that we want to do; regardless if its right or wrong. Just something to think about.
It seems to me that swearing is becoming more and more prevalent. It is habitual. I think swear words go to a part of the brain that lacks self control. I think that swearing as a part of speech and swearing under emotional distress or anger are two different things. Regardless, swearing is base and vulgar and shows a lack of self control and self respect. I admire my husband, he had never sworn in his whole life. What a wonderful accomplishment!
i think people just read a bit too much into swearing. i think it can be a way of expressing emotion that just isnt easily conveyed in another way. i refuse to believe that people who curse are unintelligent or lacking in self respect. thats a bunch of bullshit.
Bitchin’ comment, that’s the straight shit right there.
With the exception of harmful verbal abuse, the use of swearing is generally a matter of appropriate manners, not an issue of morality.
“I admire my husband, he had never sworn in his whole life. What a wonderful accomplishment!”
Well, alas, according to this article, your husband almost certainly did “swear” although he may have avoided the expletives we currently deem to be strongest. If he ever said “Gee” or “Golly” or “Darn” or “Shoot!” then he did, actually, swear. (And, actually, every one of those is just a euphemism for something ‘stronger.’)
Words are neither “good” nor “bad.” People who swear using “strong” language can be boring and unclever and mean or cruel. So can people who don’t.
I think one good measure of the importance of taboo words in communication is how strongly and visceral our reaction to a child using a profane word. No one is harmed by this, neither the child not the audience.
However, my reaction to hearing a child swear (using an “adult-only” word) is visceral and my immediate assumption is negligent/harmful parenting. And I am a prolific swearer!
Swearing is now part of everyday life for most of us, where i work we try to tone it down but it still comes out without thinking about it. What a world we have become
Just reading some of your readers comments. Self rightious aren’t they?
Negligent harmfull parenting? Its expression of frustration.
We shouldn’t need to swear but while we have intolerance, unforgiving, and zealousness byt those who know better, I don’t think; then swear for Gods sake!
By the way, can anyone name a contributing artist composer or author that wasn’t totally opposed to normality and authority. Very few and they all lived and swore like hell.
To put it in another method:
No word or words are really unclean, dirty or vulgar, unless one really thinks of them that way.
So what happened to my other comment? Got edited did it?
Why and under who’s authority? That is exactly the reason for swearing!
What a judgemental lot! people who swear are People who swear using “strong†language can be boring and unclever and mean or cruel.
Yes thats right just like the zealous religious fanatics who pass judgement
It always amazed me since I was a child that people could be so afraid of ideas. If you do not let ideas be spoken whether you like them or not, you are letting people know you are closed to ideas, and probably afraid.
Afraid of thinking, knowing, and worst not knowing. When we close off with our obsession with being offended we reduce our selves, make ourselves less human and more animal. Animals only react, they can not contemplate. It seems western religions including new ones like animal rights, and eco-fanatics, are the best at being offended, which reduces them to a primitive reactionary state. If this is right why give us a brain in the first place?
I HAVE GIVEN YOU A BRAIN!!!
DON’T USE IT!!!
CLOSE DOWN, HATE, CONDEMN!!
It always seemed the push for ignorance in religions could not be the work of god but instead that of his opposition. ignorance is darkness, knowledge is light, who wants us to live in darkness?
Humans have amazing minds, why spend so much energy closing it down?
Especially as there is so much work to do.
“Civilization began the first time an angry person cast a word instead of a rock.” — Sigmund Freud
It is a substitute for violence. Most of the psychological jargon (especially the diagnoses) is based on it.
It is never the words, actions or judgments that causes the greatest harm. It is the motive of the behavior that welds the greatest weapon, be it jealousy, anger, love, joy, etc. John Q Public is ultimately driven by the emotional payoff for any given situation. It is what drives us to create, to wallow in, and give purpose and direction to our lives. Any situation without emotional payoffs, negative or positive, is not quickly repeated. Swearing is just one more tool to help get the emotional payoff the user is needing. And on that note…don’t I sound F***king smart?
No, Sandrawee, You sound like somebody who doesn’t know how to use clean Engish to express herself!
I agree with Dave on this.
And I agree with Aaron. How we express ourselves can lock us into limitations, missing out on certain relationships, employment, and promotions. Maybe no one say a word to you.Maybe you did not know you were overheard. Your preferences for vulgarity, verbal violence, repeated verbal crutches as opposed of taking the time to use healthy word choices can leave you out of making the changes you think are important. You can be understood without swearing. Remember words carry consequences. Others can be hurt, offended, made to feel unsafe or just uncomfortable. But then that is “them” and not “you”, right? I can hear just fine without others foul language. Try it. Sugar! lollypops! Fine!
people only need to swear if they do not have the right vocabulary to express there feelings.
Cursing, cussing, swearing, dirty-talk, potty-mouth what are the differences, if any? And how come “bloody” is so taboo in Britain, but “shit” isn’t? Best comment so far: Words are neither “good†nor “bad.†(thanks for being you, lori!)
‘No Shit!’
Lori’s comment’s the best.
Hello everybody,
I’m representing 1300 years old nation. I’m from Bulgaria. In our language we have more than 10 “f-wordsâ€. We can combine them in something like “poemsâ€. So we can express “fun†or “aggression†in
3 628 800 different ways… ïŠ
I was really amused when somebody told me that “middle finger sign†is a sign against execration.
In my country if somebody addressing you with “f-wordsâ€, you just show “middle finger sign†and feel great relief. So I begin to think that “f-words†are actually cursing.
So I like kindly to ask you – is there any article or book related with “middle finger sign� It is more international…
By the way in Serbia, they have more than 100 “f-wordsâ€.
Interesting article to an extent, but it only shows why do people swear.
What about people who do not swear? Just like myself. And no, am not some kind of a fundamentalist!
Dude everyone swears there very few percentage maybe even no people out there that don’t swear
I think you’re spot-on with this one, SwearMister. Well said. Thanks.
Why does My brother swear and act like an idiot to my mother but in public he goes overboard with being “nice” and “polite”? Isn’t this behavior cowardly? What is the psychology behind this behavior?
Because mom KNOWS her son and all his flaws BUT he thinks he can impress total strangers. He needs to feel like he is superior. Mom sees.right thru him
Trying to be calm: ‘What is the psychology behind this behavior?’
I think you know more than you think you do, trying to be calm.
Do you always have to be that calm? I think you are right in that he is a coward and a hippocrit, and more. but all that doesn’t really matter or explain much. most people are cowards and hippocrites! But I think you as your brother’s brother know a lot more than any shrink or reader does, and I would be interested in what you think why he is the way he is. Usually, as siblings we also take on roles, so it probably also has something to do with his role vs. your role and that they are different?
I bet you are much kinder to your mother, right?
Anyway, just curious in your take on this. kat
PS: Your mother may also behave this badly at home, or with your mother, because he feels safe and comfortable with her, and which he does not do in public.
My older son treats me pretty badly, but he also trusts me a lot more than anyone he treats well.
Curious that a commenter believes that “bloody” is almost a taboo word in the UK, when in truth it is considered quite tame. Exposure to Hollywood movies where the “f” word seemed to be used with monotonous regularity over the last thirty or so years has given it to common usage in the UK where once it was quite shocking and rarely heard.
Meanwhile, I have early onset osteo-arthritis that causes me extreme pain: I find using “Pox!” (no, it’s not the cause of my condition!) as a curse-word to give some satisfaction and to be more socially acceptable than many other English language expletives…
I’d always admired the Italians for their inventive swearing, but now after Dimitri’s comment it seems that I’ve missed out on the Eastern European languages – Hungarian (learn from friends in Budapest) certainly has some interesting variations on the theme!
Overall, I feel that swearing is used in times of stress; sometimes when an individual is not very articulate, it becomes part of their normal vocabulary and is not necessarily used as a curseword. In the case of Trying to be calm’s brother it is very likely that he feels he cannot articulate his true thoughts or feelings to his mother and maybe some sort of family therapy or counselling could be useful to help both of them, talk through their problems in a manner that will provide a more satisfactory conclusion, and importantly, cause less stress to other family members.
I’ve also noticed that swearing is often used between peers in a social group (often by men as an inverted mark of friendship or respect!)
I even swear when I am by myself, and worst of all in the car while driving. So, for me it is not a ‘social’ thing.
A funny little story. When my oldest son was about three, I made a serious attempt to stop swearing in the car, as otherwise this really was not an issue.
So, this one time I caught myself, and I said: “You..you…you…..”, again ending with that when I hear my toddler in the back seat in his car seat finishing up for me by saying “fucking asshole”. It really was so funny!
In Australia swear words embedded in words are often heard like this one about the bloke from Tumbabloodyrumba shooting kangabloodyroos? (Tumbarumba is a town in country NSW)
Anyway they bloody lost him for a while until he was found at bloody Joe’s pub where he bloody never goes…
So much psycho babel, swearing is nothing more then expression. Is shit any different then shoot or turd?
no it means the same thing when expressed as such.
Swearing is only swearing because it has been labeled as inappropriate or vulgar. Who cares, every sound we make is nothing more then organized grunts or groans. Do you think your dog gives a damn if you call him FUCKER while your handing him a Scooby snack?
Joe –
I realize this is an old post, but since I’ve only just now discovered it, I thought I’d weigh in.
I searched Google for “I hate people who can’t express themselves without swearing”. I was prompted to do so after witnessing friends I grew up with, who seemingly haven’t actually grown up yet, expressing on my Facebook wall their anger over current world events. Their inability to form a sentence without using the “C” word, among others, left me with one impression only:
Their lives suck because they don’t know how to emotionally or intellectually evolve.
I’d also like to point out that they, much like you, don’t know the difference between “then” and “than” or “your” and “you’re”.
I’m far from being a prude, but there is such a thing as social graces. I have zero tolerance for people who are incapable of forming a coherent thought and/or sentence. Believe it or not, it speaks volumes about who they are as people and how little life and social experience they have. It can be “cool” to be counter-culture and give the impression that you just “don’t care” as a kid and young adult, but there does come a time when growing up and becoming a responsible adult is long past due.
I cannot and do not take people seriously when they exhibit intellectual laziness and classlessness.
All the world’s a stage. Like it or not, you are being critiqued on your performance.
Using swear words are short cut communications. When I was young with little experience in supervising field type men. I started using their words. Then I found myself incorporating those type of words in my thinking. I tried to stop,without being completely successful as of now.
So,who ever you associate with, can influence the use of swear words.
My thought on this topic always begins and ends with one idea that I cannot get past.
What dignitaries got together one day and decided that this certain group of words were “taboo” words and not appropriate to use?
And to break it down even further, did individual countries have similar commitees deciding just exactly what their “taboo” words were?
I mean it is completely acceptable to use “feces” but, oh my goodness, don’t say “shit”!
I think I could put more thought into this matter if I could answer this one question, Damn it!
For many of us who are visually perceptive, some people who use effrontery can be–painful–to be around. Words paint a picture–“s/he’s hot” is this not an allusion to being “in heat”? Yet we hear it even from newscasters. Folks who bandy about using colorful words can be physically, mentally, and emotionally tiring to someone who isn’t used to spiced expressions for happy things–or angry things.
Even radio stations (and certain editorialists, like Limabaugh) are repugnant to me. I turn them off. I turn off advertising, too. So, soothing music, soothing conversations are something I gravitate to; I avoid loud and obnoxious.
It is probably attitude that comes across strongest in the language one uses. If I’m in a conversation and I need to mentally edit what it is I’m hearing (to borrow the Aussie story…I don’t know the meaning of “bloody”…is it bloody like a rare steak, bloody like a woman’s monthly, bloody like Charles Manson’s hands…or the latest bloody picture I saw of a pile of evicerated fish. Or maybe bloody means poopy.
You DON’T know–when you meet a stranger–the CEO of a company used the F word in a personal work-related conversation with me–he was neither angry nor agitated. I was taken aback.
I swear (like the three year old…that was a funny story) in the car. But I also catch myself while driving doing a sort of a play-by-play monolog saying things like “choose a lane,” “use your signal,” “(sorry) you’re not getting ahead of me, or “I just need to get in that lane, you jerk, can’t you see my signal?”
But if I’m having a really bad day, every one of those situations elicits a “you f’ing SOB (or B).”
There’s a book out there about communication styles…”hearing”, “seeing,” or “feeling.” It is can be “communing” to get on the same plane as another in conversation, or it may be frustrating, or objectionable. Swearing can help or hinder the ability to “commune” with another. If I don’t “get” the purpose of it: if the “swear” is about a truly frustrating situation…I get it. If the cuss is a needless or useless attempt at bravado or sensationalism (such as the CEO), I do get offended, I do avoid.
The obnoxious talk show hosts (Dr. Laura, Howard Stern, Tim Imus) are living, breathing, long drawn out profanities to me, and I don’t think Dr. Laura even swears–but she is deeply hurtful. I listened to Rush Limbaugh for about 2 minutes and tried to find a meaningful tidbit in his diatribe. There was none…just inflammatory hot air.
I prefer a Jay Leno or Tom Hanks personality who can find the amusing aspect of human nature.
And, a comment on the NPR article (bleeping out words):
“If I were to pay to go see the movie discussed I would expect it to be littered with profanity. When I listen to NPR, I expect the conversation to be intelligent and considerate of its audience. I don’t practice any particular religious faith but I was offended at hearing the language – I taught my kids that there is a public language, where you respect everyone’s right not to hear cussing, and there is private language, where you are among peers and can comfortably express yourself any way you choose. Alicia Shepard is right, the story would have lost nothing by bleeping out the cuss words.”
http://www.npr.org/ombudsman/2009/08/bleeping_out_words.html
In South Africa (until 8 years ago at least) I heard the ‘F word’ used by women only twice. In the 8 years I have been in the UK I have heard it used by both sexes all the time.
I used to use it in male company but automatically ‘turned it off’ when in mixed company. When I became a Christian I stopped using it altogether – without even conciously trying to.
I have made up some swearwords, among them “diarrhea”, “son of a cat”, “bleep”,”steer manure” and even “solid waste material”. I call bikers without helmets “gopher brain”, an expression I picked up from my cat whose prey was severely brain-damaged from being thrown around.
It’s interesting that verbal abuse is usually hurt so much more than physical abuse. Especially among women this is the case. Swearing could be an emotional release or something which can cause long term effect on the other person.
It depends what the situation is. If you hurt your leg swearing can probably help to ease the pain. But, if your loved one was late from your meeting 2 minutes, using the “f” word would be probably a little bit too much.
I prefer a Jay Leno or Tom Hanks personality who can find the amusing aspect of human nature.
I honestly think that curses should be taught, with parental consent of course, so that kids know what they mean and know when not to use them. ONLY when not to use them, so they can expand their knowledge from there.
I’m not sure when they should be taught, but I’d assume around 5th grade(age 11-12). At least by that point, they would have enough knowledge of the language they speak to use them correctly when in the right situation. Curses are too negatively viewed because too many people have had bad experiences with them, so they shut it out entirely.
Although I do think there are still negative-only curses, like cunt. There’s no real social positive, other than talking about sex, and even then I feel it’s derogatory. It could just be me, but I’ve never seen it as a positive curse.
When my son was a teenager, he insisted, “It’s only a word, Mom.” Now that he has a 3-year-old daughter, he constantly warns, “Careful, Grandma, language, language.” So perspective has something to do with perception. I find “sh*t,” “p*ss,” and “assh*le” to be offensive because I visualize those things when I hear the words. Also, an ass is a donkey…people should say what they mean. And what they mean is arse..so there.
Swearing is good and beneficial? Don’t believe this “quack”. Swearing is not good for us and NOT beneficial. It is anger and ignorance and neither is positive. There are SO MANY better ways to rid our anger than making us look like ignorant fools. It may be more accepted in society BUT it doesn’t make it right. Whatever happened to taking a deep breath?
Swearing is ok in social circles? Well not in mine and I’d to be in one that uses swearing to reduce tension situations. Seriously, this article is ridiculous. It is opinion and not fact. I hope you do not believe this b/c it is not true. You want to swear? That is fine by me but just know it makes you look ignorant and silly. There are more positive ways to express yourself that do not paint you in a bad light. So, my diagnosis, do not swear. You are better off! 🙂
Do you know why everyone is swearing? cuz there were angry and anger. make them feel better than hitting and stuff.
Hey, guys, I was just wonderin’ Is ‘blast!’ considered swearin’. I say that whenever I get angry with somethin’. But, I always remember what Ephesians 4:29 says, in part, ‘Let no bad language come out of your mouth…’ I live that every day! God bless!
Dave…
In response to your comment from a year ago on the article about swearing, no, “blast” is not an official swear word at least in the english language.
I complement you for stating the basis of your beliefs in why you do not swear. I also am a believer of the scriptures and am glad now I made my decision to avoid swearing long ago. At the start of that decision I had to conciously dwell on every word I spoke, but now its all auto pilot.
However, I am human and have found, (for me at least) that when I am angry, in shock, or frustrated I’ve programmed my mind to use terms like “blasted” or “darn”. I blieve though that God has helped me to do this, as we hear swearing everywhere we go, everyday, so the subconcious mind does record it.
Swear words do carry enormous power when used for sexual conotations in such settings.
Words in general have set the destiny of nations, such as Hittler, Churchill,Castro and Stallion.
For those who suggest that there is no difference in the meaning of words, or that words are just sounds that we decide what meanings they will have, the scriptures also show us how this idea is so nieve, when they say, man has tamed even the wild beasts, but man can not tame the tonuge.
If you say there is no difference of meaning amoung words, then you must also aggree that there is no difference amoung actions that come from words, such as there is no difference between robbing a bank or making a legal purchase at a store. For both then are just simple transactions that have niether positve nor negative effects on others.
How many have said, I wish could take back my words? Swear words uttered in anger have cost many in penalites of a variety of formats from minuets in the penality box, to the loss of high profile employment all the way down to extended jail time.
Swearing is not a reflection of lack of education or intellegence, but rather the identity of a deep insecurity. Being so afraid of others learning who the real person on the inside is, and being rejected. Thus swearing is a support system that holds up the only assumed image that would be accepted by others. This is why a belief system based on somthing greater then oneself relieves this fear of non acceptance and enables an indiviual to develop constructively with out leading a cause or revalution and thus can release their hold on weak & temporary emotional support systems such as constant swearing. (This does not include those with legitamate physoclogical illeness such as Tourretts Syndrom or Skitsophrania)
The words we speak, speak of our characater, which originates from our belief system. The scriptures say our words represent the thoughts of the heart. In part of his famous Super Bowl speech to his team in the locker room Vince Lombardi said, “…Some guys play with their head, that’s o.k you’ve got be smart to be number one in any business. But more importantly, you’ve got to play with your heart, with every fiber of your being. If your lucky enough to find an individual with a lot of head and a lot of heart, they’re never going to come off the field in second place…” the team knew Lomabardi’s words came from his heart. Lombardi and the team both knew the words were true and thus those words gave them the power to win. Those words were respectful, but yet made the call of responsibility in a honourable manner, creating the desire to respond earnestly.
So hopfully we all will think before we speak, and each word will be spoken honestly, respectably, and honourably.
Jeff, thanx for realizin’ that swearin’ never got anybody anywhere. Have a blessed day!
I really don’t like the people who swear in every other sentence that comes out of their mouths. It’s unintelligent, unattractive, and annoying.
Sarah, I couldn’t agree more. Thanx for takin’ a stand. Have a great week!
swearing or in my native language (malay) is “mencarut” was very rude type of manner, because swearing in inappropriate way will harm other feeling and that is not good. But this article is very good and eye opening for me!
I love this article, Dr. Grohol. I’m going to provide a link from my blog, as I’m working on an article on swearing from a behavior analytical perspective.
In French Canada, especially in the province of Québec, the most common swear words are taken from the church, the sacristy, the altar, and some of the sacraments. It is “amazing“ how often you can hear youngsters using those “sacred“ words, and the great majority of them don`t either go to church or know what those words refer to. It`s easy to determine whom they learnt them from: parents, peers, and as unfortunately, from TV programs.
my opinio is that people who swear lack the intellegence to use real words.
…and what sort of real word is opinio?