From Sweden: I apologize in advance as I know this question has been asked, but I feel like I have not gotten the answer I’m looking for.
What leads me to suspect I have at least traits of BPD:
-Impulsivity: I have been impulsive since I was a child.I binge-eat, (purge), I’ve had unprotected sex, impulsive romantic interests, I chose what I wanted to work with on impulse, it’s hard to stop the impulsivity, etc.
-Fear of abandonment: If my friends are short with me; if they don’t pay attention to me; if they text without smileys; if my girlfriend doesn’t reply to my texts fast enough; if people don’t laugh at my jokes, I’ll be convinced they’re leaving me. I’ve pulled and clung to my friend so she wouldn’t “leave”.
-Identity crisis: I have no idea what I want to do with my life (granted, I am only 18 years old!) but one day I want to work with something, the next day it’s something completely different. One day I’ll say I believe in something, the next day my view is changed.
-Emotional instability: Sometimes I have intense mood swings where I am very frustrated/irritable and then laugh and cry hystercally without any warning. During those times, I talk too fast, and I make no sense. I say things I don’t mean. And I can be cruel. Other times, I feel empty.
-I idealize people when I first meet them and then after a while, without warning, I have this intense anger and hatred toward them. It’s over trivial things, too. I will “hate” my girlfriend for nothing and I’ll be moody/passive aggressive or quiet around her and then other times I will be completely in love with her and never want to break up with her.
-I took the tests on this site and both of them tell me BDP is [severely] likely.
Things that lead me to believe I do not have [traits of] BDP:
-My friends say I’m overreacting
-I am not paranoid
-My relationships have been intense and quick, but not unstable in the sense that we fight a lot.
-I have difficulty controlling my anger SOMETIMES, like most people I would think
-I perceive people with BPD to be more unstable than I am (perhaps this is ignorance on my part)
Does it look like I have traits of BPD or am I overreacting?
Thank you for asking. It looks like you have done your homework on BPD. While it would be inappropriate for me to make a diagnosis, the important thing is that you have identified the symptoms that cause concern. It is important to remember that you have the same collection of indications whether or not you are overreacting on a regular basis — or meeting the criteria for BPD. A diagnosis can be helpful in finding the right treatment, but often a list of symptoms doesn’t fit neatly into a categorized diagnosis. I think the best way to move forward is to make an appointment with a psychologist or psychiatrist. He or she will be able to help put together a treatment plan for the symptoms, which is the main goal.
Wishing you patience and peace,