I want to be alone. Talking to even one person leaves me emotionally drained and I feel like I need to go to bed. Social interactions like visiting someone’s house or going out with a family member feel pointless. I don’t need to talk to people, nor do I have anything to talk about. So why bother in the first place? Sometimes I’ll ask myself: “Would I be happy if everyone in the world disappeared?”, and lately the answer has been “Yes”.
I’ve never been crazy about being around people for as long as I can remember because growing up, people always fucked me over. Be it others my own age or adults, including my parents who would hide in their room all day smoking pot. I hated it when my grandmother dragged me to some kind of family event and I’d end up sitting by myself because no one else my age was there.
These days no one in my family even wants me to talk anymore. No matter what I say, I’m wrong. I can’t express any of my feelings because I’m labeled as a drama queen for even bringing anything up or I’m told I’m wrong just for feeling a certain way about something. (Example: I hate my aunt because she kicked my cat against the wall and killed it about 3 years ago when she visited. I’m told I’m “wrong for hating her”. I don’t get a reason as to why I’m wrong, I just am)
If anyone even talks to me, they’re talking DOWN to me like I’m an idiot or something. Yet for some reason they wonder why I don’t talk to them anymore.
It’s much more comfortable to be alone in my room, because other people annoy me too much. I don’t like people, and it seems like they don’t like me. (From the USA)
What strikes me most about your email is that there is no question, concern, or desire to change. You are simply stating that you do not like want need or care about social contact or connection. So why write the letter? Why reach out and declare you need to stay isolated? What were you hoping for? What would have been a good response?
I ask these questions because you wrote the email for a reason. Finding out what your purpose was in writing it might be a good place to begin. Remaining isolated is a choice and a freedom you have as an individual. If you don’t want to connect there is no law that says you should. But just because it is a right doesn’t make it physically or emotionally healthy. It is clear there are many people you don’t like and don’t want to be with. But if the real question in the email is if there is something you can do about it — the answer is yes. But if I am wrong and you just want us to know that you don’t like people and want to be left completely alone, then your intent has been fulfilled.
If you do want to change let us know and use the same PC username. Let us know what you want and one of us will write back with some ideas to consider.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
