So, over the last eight months, my mom has been doing really bad stuff. I’ll start from the beginning. So, my mom has been sleeping around with a bunch of guys. I’m surprised she doesn’t have an STD. But anyway. She is either never home doing “school stuff,” or she is home but being mad at me. My dad is in Afghanistan serving our country right now. My mom wants to divorce him and she claims she will never get married again. The thing is, she makes me keep every little secret. You see, I’m not allowed to tell anyone, not even my grandma or my cousin. My dad calls on a daily basis and she ignores his calls all the time. But it really saddens me, because my dad is the only dad I have known. My biological father abandoned me as a baby and then my “dad” came along and that missing peice was filled. If my mom gets a divorce, I may never see him again, because he hasn’t adopted me. Back in October, I got my very first job, but it was for a haunted house so it only lasted a month. Then, my mom’s friend, we’ll call her Bob, moved into my house from just being out of jail. My mom did it out of the kindness of her heart, but my dad can’t keep supporting Bob. My dad is the only one that works. Ever since she’s gotten here, my life has turned upside down, and I’m going to fall. Bob’s kids live here and they are so loud annoying and I can’t ever do my homework. Before they moved in, I had straight a’s and now I have an “f.” But her kids are so disrespectful. They don’t care about anyone or anything. My mom spent $5k all together on everyone in my house for Christmas. Last night, it was 5:30 and dinner was almost done. My mom was gone and Bob was still there. Two of the kids asked for a snack and she said yes. I went up and told MY sibling he couldn’t have one because dinner was almost done. She started yelling at me and calling me all these names, just because i would let MY sibling have a snack. My mom is now in Vegas for the weekend. She left me with Bob aka the Wicked Witch of the West. She has been treating me like crap all day and I haven’t done anything to her. But last night, my mom, me, and Bob all sat at the table together and she let Bob completely blow up on me. Her son is really rude, too. More rude than I am, and she told me all this stuff. But if I raised my voice the slightest bit, I would get yelled at. I know life isn’t fair, but it’snot dair dor my life to do all of this to my dad and me. Before Bob moved in, I was always being bragged about and now I’m just the “little b***h.” Please help me. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Thank you for writing to us and telling us a bit about what is going on in your life. What I’d like to say is that you need to pull in the resources that you know are good. Obviously your dad would be a very good person to talk to about your needs. It sounds like he has been a good guy in the past and my guess is that he’ll be able to help you out in the future. Talk to him honestly about the stress you are feeling and get his feedback and help. Second, I would definitely talk to your high school guidance counselor. He or she may be able to help in ways that will generate more support for you as you cope with your mom’s antics.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
