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Delusional Thoughts

My Mother Is Going Crazy

by Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP January 15, 2023

written by Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I’m not talking about hearing voices in the head because thankfully she’s not that crazy, but recently she has some major belief issues. She recently got sucked into this whole “4 dimensions,” she truly and legitimately believes that her “soul wavelength” is equal to that of a god, and that god lives in the 4D or something. I of course am not really believing in that sort of ridiculous comment, so I try to calmly explain to her why such a thing can’t exist. She gets really mad, screaming mad, then can’t keep her mouth closed for at least 3 hours no joke. She keeps yelling at me like “Why don’t you believe in such things, this is why you’re such a loser, you suck at this, you suck at that, you have to start believing in being a god to be one.” Now before I go further, she says I “suck” at things that I already quit from, like previous sports I didn’t enjoy.

It only gets worse from here, she recently watched videos of conspiracy theory videos. She 100% believes every single thing that she sees. As long as it’s a well-produced, well-narrated “documentary” and has somewhere that says “not fake,” she really believes it. Now I mean that’s not bad right? She can believe in that, it’s her right to. But then she tells me to go and watch it with her, and after the video, I deny that any of those theories are true. Once again, for some reason she gets super mad at me for not believing in these “facts.” Pyramids on the moon, and Nazi UFO’s, I once believed my mom was sane, but seriously the state that she has deteriorated to scares me. Another notable mention is that she has a massive lump on her neck she claims to be just a muscle that grew too large, looks like a tumor to me, I highly recommended her to a doctor. But she thinks the doctor system is made to cheat people of their money. I finally tried to just get her to talk to a therapist or just any medical figure, but she just absolutely refuses, thinking that her will power or god power will heal her.

I don’t enjoy the company of my mother anymore, she speaks of herself too highly and speaks of others too lowly. I think she’s crazy/insane.

This is difficult because your mother’s perspective becomes a source of criticism. I’m sorry this is happening, no child should be told that they “suck” at anything. I highly recommend talking to your high school’s guidance counselor about what you’re witnessing. Whatever beliefs your mother has, she is wrong when she belittles you. Regardless of her belief system her treatment of you isn’t good, and that’s where the focus needs to be. You guidance counselor will have some suggestions for helping you cope.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan

January 15, 2023 0 comments

How to Find a Therapist

by Holly Counts, Psy.D. June 29, 2022

written by Holly Counts, Psy.D.

I would like to be able to talk to someone but know the only way I’ll be able to talk about personal issues is to pay a therapist. The problem is that owning to a number of previous experiences, I can’t find one that seems to work for me. I have post traumatic stress disorder. I have been receiving an increasing number of death threats as the country becomes more polarized. My most recent death threat came just last month. In December I was held at gun point and in May of 2014 someone actually took a shot at me. Because of the nature of my work law enforcement cannot be involved as that is a violation of the offender’s privacy. Everything is reported through work, but I’m having trouble coping because most people in the area, including my family, thinks that shooting at Federal Employees makes for good sport. (These are people who deify Cliven Bundy and probably Ted Bundy.) I was seeing a professor through the University of Idaho, but stopped seeing him in private practice after he killed his girlfriend in 2011. He’s in prison now. In 2013 I was seeing a different therapist, but he told me that I was under satanic attack and the President Obama was brainwashing me. I stopped seeing him immediately because I was pretty sure he was crazier than I was. Most recently I was seeing a man from January to April who insisted that my life would be better if I converted to Christianity and started attending church. He wasn’t as crazy as the previous guy, but I do wish I could talk to a therapist who isn’t trying to change my religion (I’m not christian), sexuality (I don’t know if I’m hetero, homo, or bi and I don’t see how it’s relevant since I haven’t been on a date since 2006), career path (I work for the Federal Government), or relationship status (single and staying that way). What are some key questions to ask a person before starting therapy and ultimately wasting my time and money? Also, what kinds of answers do I need to be looking for from the therapist? (age 37, from the US)

Wow, you have had some incredible bad luck with therapists. I’m so sorry and hope that your next experience will be much more helpful. The best ways to find a therapist are to get a referral from someone you trust, such as a like-minded friend who has been to the person themselves, or to read up on the therapist before you ever make an appointment. Many therapists have personal websites these days or have profiles on public sites like Psych Central or Psychology Today. This way you can see what they are all about and narrow down the field of candidates.

The next step is to request a consultation, either by phone or in person, if available. This gives you a chance to see if you think it will be a good match. I would recommend that you ask how much experience the person has treating PTSD, especially in relation to complications with government employers. For example, a therapist who has worked with police and fire or military clients might be well versed in the issues you face. Based on your past experience, I would also recommend that you specifically seek a therapist who does not describe themselves as a Christian counselor.

My last thought on the matter would be to speak to your human resource department regarding EAP services or to see if they have contracts with therapists to help employees such as yourself. This may be the easiest and most affordable way to get help. I hope that you stay safe and find a good match with a therapist soon.

All the best,

Dr. Holly Counts

June 29, 2022 0 comments

Paranoid Partner

by Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP September 7, 2021

written by Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Hi, I have been knowing my SO for a year now, I like to believe that we have a great connection. He has told me in the beginning that he has trust issues and have a hard time letting people into his life. He doesn’t have many friends and he prefers to be home on his own which at first I had no problem with because I am a homebody myself. However, after a while, I noticed he had intimacy issues which then rose quite a few problems within our relationship. He distances himself quite often, becomes very cold. He also shared with me that he was sexually abused when he was young but he didn’t go into detail and I did not ask questions because I felt like he didn’t want to talk about it so I comforted him and we have not spoken about it since. I also know he did not come from a good background. He has also gone through my phone and found some messages from social media. The trust was fully broken then but after a couple months of separation, we decided to work out the relationship. A couple of days ago, he became very distant and I began to worry what was on his mind. He finally opened up and told me he suspects his roommates are plotting to get him. I reassured him that that was all in his head and to stay positive. He also bought a knife for protection which I didn’t think much of. However last night, he smoked a little bit of marijuana (he has before and has never acted weird) and after an hour, he began to shake uncontrollably. I had asked him what was going on but he told me he was just cold and told me to go to bed. As I am laying next to him, I couldn’t help but notice his behavior. He was still shaking, his heart was pounding and he was looking straight at the door and noticed he was holding a knife in his hand as he looked like he was prepared for whatever was going to happen. I began to worry even more and he suggested we leave his place.. it was 2am. While we were in the car, he began to suspect I was hiding something from him. He kept saying “What’s going on” and began interrogating me and went through my phone again believing I was out to set him up. I was afraid for my safety and I told him to get out of my car, he got a lyft and just left. I have not heard from him since and I am still worried about his mental state. What should I do? I deeply care for him but he doesn’t trust me and believes I am out to get him. I believe he has paranoia disorder but he doesn’t have medical insurance and I am afraid it is going to get worse. I don’t want him to hurt himself and I want to help but I don’t know if he wants help from me.

It is very difficult when the people we love and want a relationship decompensate, and I admire your tenderness and compassion. However, a paranoid delusion is nothing to try and deal with on your own. There is potential for him to hurt you, someone else, or himself during these states and justify it with these irrational thoughts. This is a situation that requires professional assistance with an evaluation from a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner.

Set a clear boundary with the primary goal of protecting yourself physically and emotionally. This is not an opportunity for you to reason with or convince him. This is a situation you must view as a self-care priority with your well-being coming first and foremost. Individuals can recover from these episodes, but it will require professional guidance and (most likely) medication. An evaluation for him is imperative.

It is not uncommon for intimacy to be the trigger for such episodes and you may not be able to offer more than your compassion from a distance. If he is sleeping with a knife he intends to use it if he feels it is necessary—and that necessity may be determined by a delusion. Worse—the use of drugs may exacerbate his anxiety and disordered thoughts.

Set clear boundaries for yourself. Explain that his actions and behavior are such that you are concerned and cannot be with him until he finds some help. I know this seems difficult, but your well-intentioned acts can easily be misinterpreted and used to justify his paranoia. Don’t put yourself in harms way.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan

September 7, 2021 0 comments