Tag:

Explanations

Hate Myself and Everyone Else

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW August 17, 2023

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I am 19 and recently i was pregnant… my boyfriend changed his mind a few days after we found out and he wanted me to end it so we split up… i got into a ‘relationship’ with one of my closest friends called helen then she dumped me because she said she wasn’t attracted to women but just wanted to make me feel better. then something went wrong and i wasn’t pregnant any more.

My problem is that i hate myself, i know that what happened was my fault in some way and i just want to curl up into a ball and cry until i die, i have very few friends i am quite fit because i used to do alot of running but now i don’t run any more, i hate everyone who talks to me apart from my brother who i live with, and in my job that’s really not a good thing and if i lose that i have no idea what i’ll do, i have enough money problems as it is.

I have no idea what i should do, what i want to do is just end it but something is stopping me and I don’t know what.

I am sorry that you are having a difficult time. You need support. It would be helpful if you had a support system that you could go to when feeling upset. Your brother’s support most likely helps a great deal but the more help you have the better you may feel. Have you considered counseling or a support group? I would recommend both.

I also noticed that you are blaming yourself for no longer being pregnant. I am not certain why you believe it is your fault. There are many possible explanations for what may have happened. There could have been a medical explanation. That is generally the case with miscarriages.

I would highly recommend seeing a physician (preferably an OB/GYN) to discuss what may have happened with the pregnancy. It would also be wise to have a medical evaluation. That would be especially prudent if you plan on attempting to become pregnant in the future.

You mentioned that you wanted to “end it” but something is stopping you. I am not certain what that “something” is but whatever it is, it needs to be reinforced and built upon. Perhaps it is resiliency. Perhaps it is your will to live. Perhaps you know that your life can improve.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to surround yourself with a strong support system. It can make all of the difference; research shows that to be true for many people. A support system could come in the form of gaining new friends, joining a support group, meeting with a mental health professional, among other ways. Psychology Today is a helpful website where you can find a list of therapists in your community. I hope you’re able to find support. Thank you for your question.

August 17, 2023 0 comments

Explaining “Quick” Anger and Rapidly Changing Moods

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW October 18, 2022

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I do not really know where to start. The past three years of my life have been a hell not to mention a blur. I have been diagnosed with sevral disorders, and I am aware that my bi polar disorder can explain my rapid mood swings, but what is happening now is out of hand. For the past month, I might even maybe 2 months I have had these day long events. Starts out normal enough and the day is going fine and then bang I’m angry and not like ‘Oh I’m angry, I’ll get over it, it’s more the anger where your hands shake and your fgriends turn into your worst enemies. I wanna break things and acts of voilence have corssed my mind more then once. I have been verbal all my life so argueing and being hurtful with my word is nothiong new but wanting to take it to the next level and feeling that loss of control is scaring me to death. Ive had fits of rage that turn into a crying session pulled out some of my hair in furstration. there is the other side of that spectrum as well…the depression…crying for hours on end and afriad of everything thats in my life..fearing my self above all. I dont understand why this is happeneing what might have caused it or even exactly what it is. I have been dealing with bipolar, adhd, borderline personality disorder and depression since I was a child. I have never dealt with anything like this and I need some insight. Please help.

My sense of the situation is that your symptoms are not under control. You said that you have bipolar disorder as well as a few other disorders but you did not say whether you are taking medication or are in treatment.

You asked about what could account for your increase in anger. There could be a number of possible explanations. A change in medication could explain a shift in mood. This might include a decrease in medication, an increase, or a change to other medications. As I mentioned above, you did not indicate whether you are taking medications but if you are, this is one area to explore. A change in your medicine could affect your mood.

Was there a change in your life? This is one possibility to explore. Think about what, if anything has changed recently in your life. This could account for mood shifts.

Other possible reasons to explain a change in your mood may include lack of sleep and using drugs or alcohol. A lack of sleep can cause irritability. For instance, if you are used to getting seven or eight hours of sleep and you are now getting less, then you should expect to see a change in your mood. It is difficult to manage your emotions when you’re tired.

Without more detailed information it is difficult to know why you are experiencing anger outbursts. If you would like to write back and provide information related to whether there has been a change in any of the aforementioned areas discussed above, I’d be happy to try to provide you with a more specific answer. Without that information, I can only give you a general answer. I would suggest that you meet with a mental health professional, if you are not already in treatment. You should also be evaluated by a psychiatrist to determine whether medication is necessary or if a medication change would be helpful. If you would like to search for a therapist in your area please follow this link. Thank you for your question.

October 18, 2022 0 comments

Am I Crazy?

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW June 10, 2022

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

When I was younger (middle school aged), I had what I think were hallucinations. I tried to tell my grandmother about them but she told me it ‘was the devil’ and that I should never tell people about it. So I didn’t. It happened three times and never again. Last year, I started believing crazy things such as thinking I was the Second Coming and could move things with my mind. I actually stared at objects trying to make them move and had a conversation with the sky (God?) asking why my powers weren’t activated yet. I sometimes think people can read my mind. I’m depressed, and have major anxiety issues… To the point that its hard for me to leave the house long enough just to get the mail.

I also lost all my friends and most of my family because I had an episode where I was overly happy and made horrible impulse decisions. I couldn’t understand why they didn’t think the way I did and why they were so upset… Long story short, I ended up in a cop car and moved in with a distant relative that I barely knew.

I sometimes have thoughts where I want to hurt people/things like my Nana’s dog. I tried to smother her last month just to see what it felt like. I’m confused about myself and am going to see a therapist in a few weeks about this but I’m nervous and wanted to get an opinion before I go. What could possibly be wrong with me? Even if it could be more than one thing, I’d just really like an opinion on the possibilities.

It is good that you have decided to seek professional help. Having an in-person evaluation by a mental health professional is typically how a diagnosis is determined. Diagnosis via the Internet is difficult, given the lack of personal details and psychosocial history. Based on the information provided, there are several possible explanations for what might be wrong but please remember that I have limited information.

Hallucinations and delusions are associated with psychotic disorders. Psychotic disorders include schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, psychotic disorder not otherwise specified (NOS), bipolar disorder, and several others. You stated that you had hallucinations but have never had them again. With regard to delusions, it is unclear if you currently have them or if they were something that only occurred years ago.

Having a history of hallucinations and delusions does not mean that you have a psychotic disorder but it does increase the likelihood. Whether or not you have a psychotic disorder depends on if you currently are experiencing symptoms of psychosis, how often those symptoms occur and their level of severity. Bipolar disorder may be the most likely possibility given your current symptoms which include (as you described them): being overly happy and making impulsive decisions which led to your involvement with law enforcement. Again, given the fact that I have limited psychosocial and personal information, a potential diagnosis of bipolar disorder can only be considered speculative.

Seeking professional mental health treatment is the wisest approach to addressing your psychological problems. When meeting with the mental health professional, inquire about the possibility of medication. Medication could significantly reduce your symptoms and improve your overall mood and emotional stability. I wish you the best of luck. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

June 10, 2022 0 comments

Cutting and Depression

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW March 29, 2011

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I’m not really sure how to explain this in a way you will understand. but here goes. I’m 17years old and ever sinse 8Th grade iv had an issue with cutting and scratching myself when i get angry and its mostly because my mom has yelled at me or gotten after me for something. because she always says that i give her attitude. but honestly i dont see how i have attitude because i dont throw a fit or anything like that. and there have been times where i figured why should i even live that nothing i ever do is good enough. i mostly feel like a failure sometimes. and iv tried to stop cutting. i can go for months but then start up again. and i get really anger at times where i just want to beat something. and i dont believe its healthy but my mom believes that theres nothing wrong with me. but i think there is. i dont know what to do, and the weird thing is. is when i was little and my mom would get after me id go to my room and bite myself or id say i dont deserve to live. Ive been to 2 counselor people and they never tested me for anything. the first one was more concerned on a certain person i couldn’t be around and the 2nd one was when i overdosed in 2009 and all he did was asked if i saw ghost or if i could predict the future and told me about a book i could read. and they never tested me for any signs of depression and stuff like that. I’m so lost. i hope you can help.

You are correct. Engaging in self-harm is not healthy. You seem to engage in this behavior when you become upset or angry. Below are three possible explanations for why you self-harm.

The first is that when your emotions become overwhelming, you cut to reduce the intensity of your feelings. Some individuals report that cutting provides temporary emotional relief.
A second possibility is that you lack effective coping mechanisms to deal with your emotions. It could be that your caregivers never modeled healthy emotional regulation. If a child is not taught correct coping skills, they often develop maladaptive strategies.
The third reason may be related to a sense of inferiority and depression. Some individuals feel that they are unworthy of love or are unlovable. They perceive themselves as being a “bad person,” someone who doesn’t deserve happiness, only suffering. When an incident or emotional event arises, the individual who believes they are “bad” will often punish themselves. Their line of thinking is that “bad people deserve to punished.”

I have limited information about your history. From what you have revealed, you may have depression. Cutting is a not a symptom of depression but there is often a link between the two. The reason an individual engages in cutting behavior may be related to a negative self-image. Having a negative self-image is often indicative of depression. In addition, you mentioned that you overdosed in 2009. I am assuming that the overdose was an attempt to end your life or a cry for help. Suicidal ideation and a history of suicide attempts are often associated with depression.

The best way to know with certainty if depression is an accurate diagnosis is to be evaluated by a mental health professional. You mentioned that you have been to several. These visits did not help you but you should not give up on the idea of counseling. Continue to search for a mental health professional who you feel comfortable with and who can provide you with the best possible treatment.

Despite the fact that you may have depression I find your situation very encouraging. Even though your mother has not responded to your psychological needs in a satisfactory way, she supports your desire to attend treatment. There are many adolescents who do not have access to mental health treatment because their parents would never allow it. In this sense, you are very fortunate.

Don’t give up hope and please continue to search for a mental health professional who you like and trust. Finding the right therapist can make all the difference in your life. In the meantime, you should educate yourself about cutting and depression. I’m not suggesting that books are a cure but knowledge is empowering. I wish you the best of luck. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

March 29, 2011 0 comments

Do I Have Adult ADD?

by Julie Hanks, MSW, LCSW February 24, 2011

written by Julie Hanks, MSW, LCSW

I’m a student receiving my Masters degree. Within the past two years I’ve felt my body and mind change significantly in many ways. I feel extremely anxious when doing tasks (even small ones like packing/unpacking a suitcase). This is the same with grocery shopping or attempting my homework. I then push everything aside and get nothing done. My habits of cleanliness such as my apartment have declined because I refuse to motivate myself to clean. I’ll find myself in the kitchen then in the bedroom for some reason the randomly in the bathroom, ultimately accomplishing nothing. I get distracted by TV a lot and it impedes my homework. I also feel pressured on what to do when I finish my masters and feel like I’m too lackadaisical to even search for jobs. My relationship with my boyfriend is also affected by this in that I’ll freak out on him, refuse sex, and find him at the mercy of which high or low I’ll be on. I’ll also find myself drinking and smoking cigarettes more often to avoid doing work or tasks. I feel like I have adult ADD due to these symptoms and have spoken with my mother, who revealed she believes she has it as well but was never properly diagnosed. I would like to know what to do and what would happen if I see a psychiatrist.

Next time you talk with your mom ask her if she recalls you having similar attention problems in elementary school. While your symptoms do sound a lot like adult ADD, it’s important to determine whether you experienced these symptoms during childhood or whether they are new. If all of your symptoms are recent, it’s very unlikely that you have ADD. If they’ve been going on for years, it’s more likely that you have have ADD.

There are other possible explanations for your recent changes in your behavior and emotions. Depression or anxiety disorders often emerge in young adulthood and symptoms are similar to what you’re describing – difficulty concentrating, irritability, lack of motivation. ADD is often associated with other mental health conditions as well, so there may be a combination of issues that you’re struggling with.

Your idea about getting an evaluation by a psychiatrist is right on target! An evaluation will provide a clear diagnosis and suggest course of treatment to help you manage your symptoms. Your doctor will likely recommend medication or psychotherapy, or a combination of both.

If you’ve never had a psychiatric or mental health evaluation, it’s natural to be a little nervous because you have no idea what to expect. When you set up an appointment with a psychiatrist, he or she might give you some questionnaires to fill out before the appointment. During your appointment he or she will perform an in-depth interview with you. Medical or psychological testing may also be recommended. In addition to your evaluation and psychotherapy, you and your boyfriend may want to consider couples counseling to help repair any damage to your relationship.

You are in a stressful time of life full of transitions and important decisions – graduate school, serious relationships, career choices. These can be exciting and incredibly stressful. Make sure you’re taking care of your basic needs by getting adequate sleep, eating well, and engaging in regular recreation and exercise. No matter what your diagnosis, all of these lifestyle choices will help you manage your symptoms and will contribute to your overall health and happiness.

Take good care of yourself.

Julie Hanks, LCSW

February 24, 2011 0 comments