Logistics Archives

I have trouble connecting the need to complete a task with the physical act of completing the task. I thought about asking someone for help, but I think they would just say I’m not trying hard enough. My mind rejects things that bother me, It is something that I have only just realized I did, although my work and responsibilities have been stacking up for awhile.

I often remind myself of a task that I need to do and then my mind will immediately reject it. I constantly know I have these responsibilities, and they are nagging me at the very back of my head, but my conscious refuses to concentrate on them or realistically plan on how to do them. They are ignored, squished back somewhere far away and dark. I know there are tasks that I MUST complete, bu that’s as far as the thought process goes.

In the past I have been an okay student, but now it feels like I’ve just shut down and as a result I am failing almost all my classes.I don’t have any close friends because I am uncomfortable in school. I find myself just sitting and moving from class to class and doing nothing, then going home and doing nothing.

I am on fluoxetine for depression, and concerta for adhd. I have been on varying doses and other medications over the past couple of years but nothing seems to help my motivation.

I am otherwise content, but the consequences of my inaction are troubling, and I realize its only going to get worse. Thank you for reading this, I appreciate your time and value your opinions.
Also, I understand If you think I’m just being lazy.

I do not believe that laziness is your problem. Nor is lack of motivation. You have the desire to complete your tasks but you struggle with the execution of those tasks. This may be more of a logistics problem rather than a psychological problem.

Part of the problem might also be medication related. Feeling a lack of motivation is a common side effect of some psychiatric medications. A medication adjustment might be needed.

Another possible explanation is that you never learned effective organizational skills. A simple solution to this problem might be learning new ways to manage and organize your work load. The good news is these skills can be learned.

I believe that your biggest obstacle may be your reluctance to ask for help. Your reluctance seems to be driven by your belief that you will be judged as lazy. That is faulty logic and it is likely preventing you from getting the proper help.

Your thinking needs to be in accordance with reality. The reality is as follows:

you are not lazy;
medication may be part of the problem;
you may have never learned the necessary organizational skills to complete tasks in a timely manner; and
the longer this problem continues, the more you will likely suffer.

The proper and most efficient response to this situation is to ask for help. I wish you the best of luck. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle
@DrKRandle

5 yrs ago I received custody of a 5 yr boy and a 3 yr old girl grandchild. I was in a bad marriage at the time and my decision to take this on ended that. At the time I thought it was only temporary as my son and their father was in prison and planned to take care of them when he returned home. Their mother at that time had lost them to CPS for using, cooking and selling drugs. At a point a few months into this I realized my son would never be able to support them financially and would have continued difficulties staying out of trouble himself. Their mother is now sober according to her but is unable to care for the four kids she has. Since they have come to my home they have both been diagnosed with ADHD. I am all these kids have as far as security and I’m miserable. My friends are out enjoying the years after their kids are raised. My family is offering no emotional support. Cousins get together for meals out and don’t invite us. My brother plays it down as if I’m imaging it and making a bigger deal of it than I should. They think I should be more patient with the kids. I find dirty underwear both of them stuff into their dresser drawers. They know I like a semi clean house but I still continue to find dirty clothes stuffed in drawers and the back of closets. Everyone tells me they are kids. I believe I should be able to live in an odor free clean environment yet it hasn’t happened yet. I consistently take privileges away to no avail. It seems the kids have better support than I do. I’m tired of being miserable, unhappy and lonely. I’m on wellbutrin 300 mg (it keeps me from crying constantly) and I’ve done the therapy thing on more than a few occasions and they all say the same thing, “take better care of yourself and get a support system.” To someone who isn’t concerned with the financial and logistics of babysitters its just that simple. I’ve looked for grandparent support groups till I’m blue. I don’t know how much longer I can hide my distress.

I think it is time to get children’s protective services (CPS) involved. If you don’t deal with this issue proactively you are likely to become depleted and overwhelmed, and not be able to care for them in the long run.

Let CPS know what you are struggling with and find your daughter-in-law’s caseworker. He or she may be able to help offload the burden of responsibility from you. He or she may also be able to help you manage legally and in the coordination of services. Take a strong proactive approach to getting as much responsibility back on to the children’s parents as is possible with ancillary support services from CPS.

What I am suggesting is to start finding ways to deal with the fact that you have to have others take more responsibility so you can take better care of your needs. If you become depleted and can’t care for the children what would happen? That is the scenario you must use to guide your need for greater self-care. Ultimately you may be in a better, stronger position if you can be a support person rather than primary.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan

Logistics

Where Did My Motivation Go?

I’m raising my grandchildren alone and I’m miserable