I believe to have depression and anxiety issues; lately I’ve been feeling nauseous, short of breath, and fearful. I believe that I may have symptoms of depression, probably not severe but I believe that I should talk to a professional anyway, in case my situation may become worse. My problem has gradually become worse over the years. When I was younger I believe myself to be a happy, normal child, though probably just a bit odd. I remember when I was younger, of being teased a lot in school; sometimes I was even teased by family members. During Middle School and High School, I remember myself to be more motivated for my future, and this motivation moved even more towards Freshman Year. Then suddenly, I began to feel less motivated. I began to feel more sub conscious of who I am. My grades became lower and lower, my motivation slowly began to slip away. Because I am unhappy with my real life, I escape to a virtual life on the Internet, and constantly enjoy playing video games just to escape from my problems. I feel so unsecured. I don’t feel as if I’m smart enough to accomplish my goals, or to even socialize with other people, I don’t believe I’m pretty, I constantly eat, and have lost the motivation to lose weight and be happy. I don’t trust many people, and I believe that everybody dislikes me, which causes me to stay quiet, and not try and make new friends. Note, I do want to better myself, I still want to accomplish my dreams, I want my family to approve and be grateful to have a daughter like me, I have some friends, though, they do cause me a lot of stress. Sometimes I am happy and I do not feel like this, but when I’m at school, the anxiety and depression come back, or even when I go out of the house. I am known as odd, and quiet, some people even think I’m mean because of the fact I don’t talk. At least I think so. I want to better myself but I can’t find the energy to do so. My grades in school are down because I do not feel like doing my work or even attending class, and it’s only for the fact that I don’t want to interact with people because I’m worried of being judged. Please help me, what’s wrong with me? I don’t want to feel worthless, I don’t want to hide from society anymore, I want to be the person I dream of. My mother believes it is because I’m lazy, or because I am too distracted with my boyfriend (He is long distant) I do somewhat agree, but what I’ve stated here, I believe are the more bigger issues in my problems, sometimes I feel like killing myself actually, I think, that maybe its better to just die instead of living in a society where I feel unwanted, demeaning, and a worthless human being. Please help, it would be much appreciated. Thank you.
I agree with your self-assessment that you seem to have symptoms of a mild depression and that talking with a professional would be the right way to go. As you have identified yourself as a college student, I think going to the counseling center on campus is a good first step. They are very familiar with the symptoms and feelings you have described.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan