Being a loner and lacking close friends: I sit alone at lunch, I eat alone, I go to and from school without speaking to anyone but my teachers. I don’t even speak to my family.
Incorrect interpretation of events: People who are laughing around me are laughing about me, when people frown while talking to me it is because I am boring or have upset them.
Peculiar, unusual thinking/beliefs/mannerisms: I am clairvoyant and know things about people accurately without them telling me. I believe in telepathy and future telling and believe that people can read my thoughts.
Dressing in peculiar ways, such as appearing unkempt or wearing oddly matched clothes: I am incredibly unkempt and my clothes do not match often. They are too large. My hair is often unbrushed and it takes me days to shower or brush my teeth.
Belief in special powers, such as mental telepathy or superstitions: As I said before, I have a belief in special powers and I have them.
Unusual perceptions: I often have to double take to make sure that a coat isn’t actually a man, or a tree isn’t a person. I feel people watching me and their presence behind me. I look back to see nothing.
Persistent social anxiety: I refuse to talk to people out of fear that I will be ridiculed, criticized or humiliated. I am shaky and have a shifty gaze, and I am unable to make eye contact with those around me.
Peculiar style of speech, such as vague or unusual patterns of speaking, or rambling oddly during conversations: I have all of this to an extensive degree. When I am not vague, I ramble extensively and people can barely follow my thought process.
Suspicious or paranoid thoughts: I do not trust anyone and am very accusatory. I block people at random because I do not trust them, and cut off contact randomly because of this. The only person outside of family that I am regularly in contact with is my boyfriend who I have known since I was 11.
Flat emotions or limited/inappropriate emotional responses: I hear this constantly by my family, peers, and even boyfriend. I’m overly vague and bland, and it irritates my father because he believes it is not respectful.
I’m not certain of your exact question but it seems that you are asking about having schizotypal personality disorder (SPD). Unfortunately, it’s not a question that can be answered over the internet. Mental health diagnoses require extensive data collection about an individual’s personal and biopsychosocial history. Without that information, it is impossible to know what disorder, if any, you may have.
One issue to consider is whether your symptom assessment is objective. For instance, you described yourself as being “unkempt and having vague and unusual patterns of speaking” but you did not provide any examples. How are you making those judgments? How do you define unkempt? What do you mean by vague and unusual speaking patterns? Who are you judging yourself against? Your assessments might be accurate, but it’s impossible to know without specific examples and comparisons. That’s why it would be advantageous to have an objective source who could determine the accuracy of your assessments.
I am impressed by your thorough detailing and assessment of your mental status. Your writing is clear and logical. Your next step should be consulting a mental health professional, in person. They would be in the best position to determine whether a mental health diagnosis is warranted. They would also be able to provide treatment, should it be necessary. Thank you for your question. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle