Tag:

Social Awkwardness

I Can’t Talk to People

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker May 8th, 2022

Hello! I know that there are a few questions in this topic, I browsed through them, but I didn’t seem to find one that applies well to me. I can’t talk to people properly except for a very few (my family and my best friend), I often fall silent and don’t speak for hours just sit and smile or communicate through facial expressions and touches and the likes.

I feel like my words have a personality, that they’re a community of little entities that would be hurt if I don’t use them correctly. I have a relationship with spoken words, however strange it seems even to me. It doesn’t apply to written word, I’ve been able to write, though in the past few weeks it seems to be harder than before. I’m quite scared that if I don’t do something I’ll stop talking altogether.

I’ve been trying to force myself in social situations and to force myself to talk, but I always end up just sitting in silence, either because I feel too dumb to say anything (and then I don’t use the words correctly, and they’d be hurt), or, in better cases, that I don’t have anything worthy to add, and I don’t want to use words just to fill the space. I feel like if I say something, it has to be important.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve had similar things happen to me all my life, I often have these episodes where something small becomes huge and I know it’s irrational, but this one is the worst of them all. I can’t talk to my friends at all, except for the one I live with. I’ve been called out on this in the last 5 months it’s been happening, and I feel guilty, too, because it hurts my friends, but I can’t tell them what’s going on. And I’m getting very worried that I won’t be able to shake it off.
Thank you for your help in advance!

Often, this kind of problem is actually the “solution” for another more hidden problem. If I were seeing you, I’d be looking for how losing your spoken voice helps you avoid or escape something that is painful to you. It might be helpful to trace when thinking your words were entities started. Something may have happened that makes it all make a kind of sense. We would then work on that.

I hope you will consider seeing a mental health counselor for some help with this. Your letter shows you to be a sensitive person who doesn’t want to hurt her friends and family. If you could have taken charge of the problem, you would have done so already. A few sessions with a skilled therapist may help you get to the root of the issue so you can have the kind of relationships you want and deserve.

I wish you well,
Dr. Marie

May 8, 2022 0 comment

Weird Feeling in Head — Sign of Psychosis?

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW November 17th, 2021

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I am 25 and I am really worried that I might have a mental illness. My sibling has had a psychosis since an early age (started when she was 12-13). So far, I have had no hallucinations or delusions, my thinking is not impaired, I don’t neglect my hygiene, and I am not forgetful. But recently (as I have been abroad and separated from the people I love), I have started worrying a lot that I will get psychosis. That’s when a weird feeling in my head started. It’s difficult to describe-maybe as if I didn’t get enough sleep (and I sleep more than I used to) or like tension. I’m also nervous and more clumsy than usual. My concentration for studying is poor, though I do manage to do it in the end. As a child, I had anxiety problems that resulted in motor tics (might be important to note) and I have some obsessions (like repeating some moves).

I feel good around my family, and I have been in a loving relationship for 5 years-no problems there. I don’t have many close friends, but I do enjoy interacting with my boyfriend’s friends and they like me. Among close people, I feel safe and relaxed. But I do not feel so comfortable in class (I don’t like the people and feel inferior). This is nothing new, I was usually shy at school. I am very talkative and like discussing all sorts of issues with the close people, but still can’t chit-chat with my classmates, since I’m not relaxed with them. They think I’m weird-no wonder, I can’t even smile naturally among them.

I’m unsure whether my “weird head feeling” or social anxiety (in class) is a first sign of psychosis, or just an effect of my worries. I also have diabetes in the family and was once sure that I had it too — I was feeling extremely thirsty at one point, though it all went away as it turned out that my blood sugars are OK. So, this would not be the first time that my body is responding to my worries. Still, the fear of experiencing a psychosis onset is so overwhelming, and excessively reading about it is not helping. Any advice would be appreciated.

What you might be describing is anxiety. You may be worried about developing psychosis. That, in and of itself, might be what’s causing your “weird head feeling.” There are people who fear developing psychosis. They have health-related anxieties, also known as hypochondria. This may be the case for you.

You might consider having an evaluation by a mental health professional. It might reduce or eliminate your anxiety about developing psychosis. An evaluation is an objective assessment of your symptoms. You didn’t describe any symptoms that would suggest psychosis, but I can’t diagnose you over the internet.

In the past, when you were worried about having diabetes, it seems as though you had an evaluation for that condition. That evaluation determined that you did not have diabetes and you no longer worried about having that condition. Why not take that same approach with your fears about psychosis? It would help you to know the truth and it should ease or eliminate your anxiety and, if you were diagnosed with psychosis, it is easily treated in the early stages.

Finally, the best way to overcome any anxiety disorder, health-related or otherwise, is to always focus on the truth. If you continue to struggle with your fears about developing psychosis, despite there not being any objective evidence to suggest that you have psychosis, counseling could help. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

November 17, 2021 0 comment

What Does Psychosocial Mean?

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker July 3rd, 2021

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

From the U.S.: About four years ago I was released from a psychiatric hospital after a month, and my mom had picked me up. I was looking at the papers and I saw under diagnosis, along with what I had been diagnosed with before was ‘psychosocial’. I asked my mom what that mean and she said it meant I have no social skills. I could had told you that!

But seriously, I can’t find anything on why that would be under “diagnosis” on the official papers or what it could had meant, and all of my past therapists ignore my questions or accuse me of lying. I am also scared to ask or see another therapist from the sheer amount of trouble I’ve had with them in the past, but I so desperately want to know what that meant, and Google isn’t telling me anything.

My other diagnosis’ have been changed over and over again, so I can’t really tell which ones I should list. The hospital that diagnosed me with it wasn’t very good or helpful either, it felt like prison and I was threatened or punished a lot for not wanting to eat due to the Anorexia Nervosa. Is “psychosocial” a diagnosis or was it a weird thing they just wrote down?

Please relax. Psychosocial is not a diagnosis. It’s a category for assessment. In your case, it looks like someone wrote it in the wrong place on a form. To do a “psychosocial” merely means to take a brief history of someone’s psychological and social development. It provides an overview of your issues to those who are trying to help you.

As far as I’m concerned, diagnoses are only a way to quickly and broadly summarize someone’s issues and to direct appropriate medication treatment. After you get a diagnosis, you still have the problems that distress you. If you want to get better, it’s up to you to do the hard work with your therapist.

A therapist can provide guidance and support, but you need to do the daily work. People improve when they do two things: 1) They make the life style changes they need to make to be physically healthy and 2) They work hard in their therapy to better understand themselves so they can make healthier life choices.

Please stop being so worried about what is on a piece of paper from years ago. Focus your attention instead on what you can do now to be an active member of your treatment team.

I understand your reluctance to see another therapist if you’ve had a negative experience. But, please, therapists are no more alike than other people. Give therapy a chance. Make an initial appointment with another therapist. If you don’t feel comfortable with him or her, bring it up. Sometimes talking about the discomfort is what inspires insight into other relationships as well. If you feel you aren’t being helped, go for a second opinion to a different therapist. If that one doesn’t work out either, it’s only fair to ask yourself if the problem lies within you, not the therapists. That may be the very issue you need to work on.

I wish you well.

Dr. Marie

July 3, 2021 0 comment

Help! I’m Depressed Every Time I Arrive Home

by Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP June 25th, 2021

written by Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I’m a 16 years old girl with many self esteem problem (maybe because I was bullied a lot in the middle school), I have social anxiety and I don’t have many friends, just one who doesn’t understand me and who always complain about me and my behavior but she doesn’t want to leave my because I’m her only friend too and she likes me sometimes because I make her laugh. I’m depressed when I arrive home but every time I see my classmates and my friend my mood is up again. Lately my depression and low self esteem had followed me in my social area too, I sigh a lot but when my friend ask me what’s wrong I smile and tell her is nothing because I will annoy her if I tell her about the things that upset me. When I’m home I’m felling low and alone, I don’t have a good relationship with my stepfather who support me and my mother (who stay in another town for work now) financier, he is very lifeless and grumpy and I’m happy when he isn’t around because when I’m alone I can turn on the music or do something fun by myself .As a kid I wasn’t raised in the best environment I was abused and molested by the woman who had talked care of me when my mother has gone overseas and by her older children but luckily I had forgotten many of there memories when I was 7 years old because it was too painful for me to remember. Now I’m feeling low all the time and I feel like I’m not good enough because I’m not perfect, prettier, smarter, more popular and richer, maybe I’m an attention seeker but I want people to notice and think good of me, I wish I had a lot of attention from the opposite sex like other girls because that will make me feel prettier, but I have a baby-faced and a lot of guys told me before that I look like a 12 years old and I had made a fool of myself many times when I was younger and a lot of them bullied me. My bigger problem Is that I’m thinking of all those
things every time when I’m in my quiet house and I’m afraid to go out by myself because I will feel bad and people will stare at me, gossip or I will feel alone. What can I do? I even thought of suicide when I was depressed and that makes me feel really low but my mother doesn’t want to hear about something like this and she goes mad at me every time I tell her.

Thank you for taking the time to talk about all these feelings. It sounds like you need a trusted adult that isn’t a family member to talk to. Is there a teacher or counselor in your school that you can approach? I think the way to begin this is to talk about the impact bullying has had on you in school. This way it keeps it focused on a core school issue, but as you are able to trust the person you can talk more about this. Stay connected with your friend, and see if there are others that may be open to a connection with you. I want you to fight against isolating as you find an adult to talk to about these things. You are obviously very bright as you have written this email in English, which isn’t your native tongue. Find other good students to talk to and share your interests with them. Building new relationships will help — even if it is difficult at first.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan

June 25, 2021 0 comment

Possible Anxiety and Dissociative Identity Disorder

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW March 10th, 2021

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Hello, Thank you for answering my questions/concerns. I’m an eighteen year old girl whose very confused about herself and had to grow up way too fast and just keeps her problems to herself because no one will understand, I know you would like to get to the root, so I will just get to the point. 1) When I am in a bathroom, I feel someone is going to come out of the stalls and kill me. Also, if I am an elevator or a large hall by myself, I begin to feel pressure in my face and body to the point where I have to put hands over my ears like a child and is paralyzed. However, when I see another person, I instantly am better, the pressure is gone and everything. I have been like this for a long time. My mother laughs and just think I am acting like a little girl. But I know that their is something wrong here. Whats up with that? 2)I am very socially weird and growing up I heard sex is just something that will damn you to hell if you do it, because you get pregnant. In high school I was a virgin and did everything perfect and didn’t want to look bad in the eyes of the lord or others. However, my hormones would kick in. SEX!! I couldn’t stop the feeling. I needed it like air. When I would make out with guys, a weird sensation would happen and I would breathe heavily ( not like I am having an asthma attack or anything I was just fine) and just tremble like I am gasping for air. Even when I thought about it too much it would happen either before or after I would make out with a guy or even think about it. 3) Lastly, I have voices that talk to me in my head. There is eight of them inside of me. They all have names and personalities of there own. Bobbi is the bad one and he makes me want to hurt other…just impulses to kill someone or just choke them. Phoebe is a sexual predator and will want to kidnap someone to make them her personal play toy….the others are harmless but enhance my mood to their personality. But when I am stressed they tend to take over.

Concerning your first two sets of symptoms, you may be describing panic attacks. Panic attacks involve an abrupt, intense fear accompanied by physical symptoms including sweating, shaking , heart palpitations, among others.

Your third concern involves voices. Everyone hears an inner voice. It is considered the voice of their own consciousness.

Hearing voices other than your own, however, is unusual. The voices you describe hearing occur during times of stress. It may be an idiosyncratic stress reduction technique rather than a disorder. I would need more information about the voices to determine what might be wrong. For example, are they internal or external voices? External voices are associated with psychotic disorders.

Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is characterized by both different identities and amnesia. It’s common for people with DID to have periods of time when they can’t remember what they were doing. It’s beyond normal forgetting.

Your symptoms warrant an evaluation by a mental health professional. Panic and anxiety are highly treatable with medication and counseling. An evaluation could also determine if DID is a possibility. Ultimately, treatment is necessary when your symptoms are negatively interfering with your life. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

March 10, 2021 0 comment