Tag:

Strange Things

Things Went From Bad to Worse

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW December 26, 2023

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Well first off. I’m a sophomore in college. I just got out of a breakup. She left me with someone else in kind. I was diagnosed Bipolar II w/ psychotic features (depression prominent). I now get upset over the smallest things, and I get hung up on little words when people talk about me. I have a horrible memory, and it takes me forever to remember names. If I don’t write down my schedule, I will have time periods in the day that are kinda just blank. I am having trouble talking to people I don’t know in person. I can talk to new people online though. I am seeing strange things, like shadows, and such. I am afraid to sleep in the dark. I am afraid to be in the dark. I hear people talking and I assume it’s about me, and it makes me more depressed. I am getting ready to start back at college, and it stresses me out more. I am beginning to hate life. It seems as if I have no real friends, just pretenders. I wanna get help, but I have no insurance.
What should I do? What could be wrong with me?

It is difficult to determine exactly what is wrong. It may be that stress is making it difficult for you to concentrate. It may also be that stress is bringing on a possible psychotic episode. You describe having memory problems, paranoia and visual hallucinations. I am concerned about your current state of mind and that the upcoming school year is causing you distress.

You asked what you should do in this situation. You do not have health insurance but as a college student, you should have access to student services which can include psychiatric assistance. These services are free. Make an appointment to see one of the mental health professionals on staff. They should be able to help you and provide medication if necessary. I would also recommend contacting your primary care physician or the professional who diagnosed you with bipolar disorder. He or she may be able to provide advice for you in this situation. If you are experiencing symptoms of psychosis then you will likely need medication to help treat your symptoms. Please do not ignore your symptoms. They may become worse and you want to avoid this outcome, if at all possible.

If your symptoms become overwhelming, go to the local hospital for an evaluation even though you do not have health insurance. Hospitals recognize that a certain number of individuals without health insurance will utilize their services. Many hospitals have funds set aside to cover uninsured patients. Two other options include contacting a local community mental health center for services or calling the local health department. Explain your situation and ask them to connect you with free or low-cost services for individuals without health insurance.

What’s most important is seeking help and not letting your symptoms become so overwhelming that it leads to a serious psychotic episode. When it comes to psychosis, or any other mental health condition, it’s best to be proactive and take steps to prevent more serious problems.

I hope you are able to access the help that you need. Please be proactive and get help sooner rather than later. Please take care.

December 26, 2023 0 comments

Visual Hallucinations & Urges to Do Strange Things

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW January 11, 2022

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Hello, for the past few months I have started to have strange visual hallucinations. Usually when I see things I become scared; I turn on the sink and blood comes out or a man will be standing by the top of the stairs when I’m walking up to my room. The hallucinations last seconds. I know that what I am seeing is not real but at the same time when it happens I am afraid for my life, when I see a person in my house I believe they’re really there(from another universe or something) until after the fact when I am calm and the hallucinations are gone. I remember as a young child I would hear a voice telling me to “do it” and I would get so angry that I would hurt myself but I’m not sure at what age that went away. I have also been having urges to do strange things… for example I woke up last week and had this urge to go dig a hole in my yard thinking there was something in the ground. I got up and did it because I believed it but looking back I know it was foolish for me to think something/someone was trapped in the ground.

I have talked to my therapist about this and he recommended I see a psychiatrist but my parents won’t allow it. He is a LCSW and can not diagnose me. I have not spoken to him about it in awhile because it is embarrassing and part of me feels like he doesn’t believe me. He said visual hallucinations are very rare. Could this be schizophrenia?(my sister was diagnosed with schizophrenia then re-diagnosed by a different psychiatrist with BPD she is currently medicated and it helps but I am unsure of what her symptoms were, I do not think she hallucinated) or could the hallucinations be caused by my depression, which has gotten pretty severe recently? Is there any advice you could give me to help control my strange urges/decrease the occurrence of my hallucinations.

It is difficult to know what may be wrong. Visual hallucinations are experienced by individuals who have schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder and on less frequent occasions, major depression and bipolar disorder, if there are psychotic features present. Approximately 16 to 72 percent of individuals with schizophrenic disorders have reported experiencing visual hallucinations. In that way, they can be relatively common among individuals who have those disorders.

Individuals can experience visual hallucinations in the absence of a psychotic disorder. In these cases, there may be an organic brain syndrome present. Some physical problems that may cause visual hallucinations include (but are not limited to): dementia, delirium, drug and alcohol withdrawal, severe sleep disturbances, migraine headaches, seizures or tumors. Generally it is recommended that an individual who is experiencing visual hallucinations be evaluated by both a psychiatrist and neurologist.

Your parents are unwilling to allow you to see a psychiatrist. I would encourage you to inform your parents that visual hallucinations are possibly a sign of a neurological problem. It is very important that you are medically evaluated to rule out the possibility of neurological problems. It would also be helpful to share this information with your therapist. He may be able to help convince your parents that you need to see a neurologist and or a psychiatrist. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

January 11, 2022 0 comments

He can’t find joy in life anymore

by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker March 15, 2021

written by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I’m 22 and for almost two years now I’ve been confused with life and emotion. After a woman I loved left me for her own selfish reasons, that I’ve been over for a while now, I feel a general lack of feeling in most cases. Things that made me happy and excited don’t have as deep an impact any longer. I used to find a ton of joy in playing guitar, listening to music, and watching movies or playing video games.

That said, the most prevalent emotion I can feel intensely is rage, my current girlfirned who I’ve been with for over a year and has been living with me most of that time can vouch for me. I feel like she makes a lot of stupid idiotic mistakes and I can’t help but feel extremely angry at her even for small things that don’t matter much. Also, I couldn’t hold a job at Radioshack where I had to talk to customers because their stupidity and even the way they talked made me so angry that it impeded my job performance.

Also, I have trouble motivating myself to do even simple things that I typically don’t do everyday. Like if I have to go visit my grandparent’s or help a friend with something, I would rather sleep in or blow them off because I don’t feel like leaving home. However, this couples with the fact that it seems like none of my friends have time to do anything anyways. I’m 22 so most of them have jobs or are also in school, but they literally seem to never have time. On top of that, I feel like everyone is bound to betray me or are out to rip me off somehow. Even people I have known for years and care about. Additionally, strange things make me really sad, like even writing this is making me tear up. When I see families or friends laughing and having a good time, when I’m in public and just observing people, it makes me so depressed taht I sometimes have to leave where I’m at to hide so no one will see me cry. Smiley faces and other symbols like that also make me sad. I generally feel very unhappy and incomplete.

I have no sexual desires for my girlfriend, but like the companionship. Sometimes I don’t even want her to be near me though, and I just hate the thought of spending time with her. I very rarely can find myself in any kind of aroused state and I feel very dull and bored most of the time. I find myself thinking of death and the end of the world and other horribly dismal things. At college when the other students who seem to generally be much younger than me make stupid remarks or speak improperly it makes me want to tear their bodies apart.

Typically I hold this all in, because no matter who I tell I feel like no one takes me seriously. I’ve been in 3 different schools after high school ended. This is the one I know I’ll finish in, but I just feel like I’m a joke among people who know me for that. Most of my life I’ve felt embarrassed about myself, whether it be my body, the way I talk, or the way I look in some way.

I’m just so tired of being overwhelmed with such intense emotions and not being able to find joy in life anymore.

I’m so very sorry that the joy has gone out of living for you. I can’t make a diagnosis on the basis of only a letter, of course. But it’s a strong possibility that you are suffering from a major depression.

Most universities (including yours) have counseling services. Please take advantage of help that is so readily available. Make an appointment to have an initial meeting with a counselor. If you are too embarrassed to tell your story, bring your letter. You did an excellent job describing what life has been like for you. With the support of a therapist and perhaps some medicine, you could be feeling at least a little better in a month or two. I’m glad that it’s summer and that you have a break from classes. This is a good time to get a jump-start on taking care of yourself.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

March 15, 2021 0 comments

Sixteen and wondering if I am in a domestic mental/emotional abusive relationship

by Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP May 26, 2011

written by Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I’m sixteen. Everyone tells me this affects everything: my dad died when I was twelve. He and I had an amazing relationship, he was a great dad. Also I’m the youngest girl in my family. But right now I’m really confused about what’s going on with my boyfriend. He is also sixteen. I lost my virginity to him a year ago. I love him, and the reason I began dating him in the first place was because he was so sweet and he really, really liked me. Being with him made me feel really secure. From the start, I noticed he got frustrated and agitated VERY easily, and blew up over strange things. Lately, things have happened that I feel warning signs from. He demands my facebook and email password and literally stalks everything I do and say. I’m “not allowed” to talk to boys, add boys to my facebook, be friends or hang out with boys. My best friend (a girl) insulted him publicly on the Internet when he instigated a fight, and he told me that if I didn’t cut off all ties from her, he would kill himself. He cuts himself whenever I stand up for what I feel I am entitled to. friend boys, a relationship with my best friend. This has become gradual. It started off by me not “being allowed” to hang out with “friends he doesn’t know”. He gets angry when I go on backpacking trips or don’t want to sit in detention with him. When I read this I know I’m about to get yelled at “obviously you are sixteen and his problems aren’t your responsibility, find a new boyfriend.” but every time I do, I feel so awful that its not worth it. When he is gone from my life I feel physically sick and crushed. One time I cut my arm really badly after we got in a fight and he was ignoring me, because I really wanted to show him the next day how much he had hurt me. It made a lot of sense at the time. I’ve lost contact with most of my friends because I’m always up his ass and I’m lonely… his friends think I’m unreasonable and confrontational but I just try to stand up for myself. After he asked for my facebook password, I asked for his, and decided that if he looked at my things, I am entitled to look through his. I found messages when he referred to me as “the bitch”. He has since told me that that’s how guys are, and I wont find a guy who doesn’t use that word. Every single time something happens now, he will cut himself, snort pills, and threaten to kill himself, or repeatedly ask me if he can die or how he should kill himself. Also…I’m beginning to mimic him. His jealously makes me cautious, so I’ve started to watch him closely and feel uncomfortable when girls talk to him. I’ve threatened to run away, cut and kill myself. I never did these things before. I feel like I am being a petty teenager, but I am so lonely and confused and I used to be so social and outgoing. These days I just want to impress his friends and avoid confrontation. Also, last fall I studied abroad, and when I came back I found out he had slept with another girl three times, and lied for as long as he could about it but finally gave in. he hasn’t done anything like that since, not even close, and he is truly obsessed with me, this makes me feel like his behavior is something id prefer. Somebody who cares way too much rather than hardly any. All of the rest of the time everything is fun, we ride in my car, go to the movies, restaurants, he shows me off to everyone and treats me so well. He texts me every second of the day. But I feel cheated from life most of the time.im lonely and confused. I just want an adult to talk to.

You are brave to ask the question. I am not going to “yell” at you for being 16. This isn’t about that. This is about an abusive relationship that is likely to get worse.

What you have told me is that your boyfriend lies, bullies, threatens suicide, manipulates you, has been unfaithful, controls you, restricts your friendships, thinks selfishly about his needs rather than yours, calls you a bitch, cuts himself, and snorts pills.

At any age this would be unacceptable. It is nice you go to the movies and for rides, but any relationship at any age that involves this level of controlling behavior isn’t healthy. You can’t fix him, but you can take care of yourself.

I would talk to the counselor at your high school. You do not need your boyfriend’s permission to do this. You may also want to talk to a trusted teacher.

If you stay in the relationship you will need to change to have a voice and empowerment. If you break up, you will need the same things. Please go talk to you counselor today, and join one of our online forums here at psychcentral.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan

May 26, 2011 0 comments

Diagnosed Bipolar But Could I Be Schizoaffective?

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW March 12, 2011

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

So around 2 years ago I was diagnosed Bipolar 1, PTSD, and social anxiety… But I’ve been getting a lot of hallucinations, delusions, issues with communication, etc.. Like right now for instance, I can’t stop laughing and quoting songs or lines from movies…or saying obscene things like “my vertabrae feels like a carnivorous dairy product”. Yes, this obviously could be mania, because I’ve been having problems with that for the past couple months, but I’m also hearing and seeing things, too. I keep hearing people talking bad about me, usually my friends’ or family’s voices, saying things like “you’re worthless, stupid, pathetic, ugly, blah blah blah”. A lot of the time I hear it when I’m alone and no one is there, which scares me. OR I’ll hear random voices I’ve never heard before, but I can’t make out what they are saying.

Also the hallucinations have been worrying me, too. Sometimes everything appears brighter or begins to look like I’m stuck in a video game. OR I’ll actually see strange things, like the print on carpets transforming into faces, or seeing actual people trying to talk to me through a TV (while the TV is off of course), or seeing a woman jump out of a poster I was looking at. The delusions are there, too…I can’t smoke a cigarette on my front porch because I really believe that someone is going to park their car and shoot me. Or I’ll have delusions that I’m possessed, or that people can read my mind and it freaks me out. What also scares me is when I’m hallucinating really bad all I can do is laugh hysterically and try to harm myself and say strange things like “egg salad brains”. Also I repeat myself a lot of the time without realizing it…

Apparently this has been going on for a couple years, maybe longer, but it was never brought to my attention until a few of my friends and family shared their concerns for how strange I can really act sometimes.

I just want to know if this can happen with those who have my combination of mental illness, or if I’ve been diagnosed incorrectly. I’ve read up a lot on schizoaffective disorder and most of the symptoms match up with me.

Diagnosing mental health disorders is not a straightforward process. Mental health professionals utilize the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) as a guide but it is not a perfect system. I cannot say with certainty whether your diagnosis is accurate but it is possible that it is not. Some of your symptoms are more in line with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder than bipolar disorder. Disorganized speech is characteristic of schizophrenia and variants of schizophrenia. It is not unusual for individuals with schizophrenia to make odd comments or to use unusual language. This is sometimes referred to as “word salad.” Word salad, or the technical term schizophasia, is when an individual uses words in a sentence, for example, that have no relationship to one another. Their language can sound jumbled and confused.

What is unclear is what is causing your jumbled or confused speech. The cause may be uncontrolled mania or other symptoms related to bipolar disorder. It may also be symptoms of schizophrenia or related disorders. The problem is that it’s often too difficult to determine the exact cause.

In my experience, it is oftentimes the case that pinpointing the exact diagnosis is not nearly as important as receiving effective treatment. Your symptoms are clearly not under control. Out-of-control symptoms are indicative of an individual who is: not in treatment; not complying with treatment; or not receiving effective treatment. If it is the latter, then you may want to consider getting a second opinion, especially if you don’t agree with the diagnosis.

I’m sorry that I cannot give you a definitive answer. It is a complex question and there is no easy answer. It is good that you are taking an active role in educating yourself about other possible mental health disorders but please keep in mind what I mentioned above: treatment is often more important than the diagnosis. I wish you well. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

March 12, 2011 0 comments