With the prevalence and popularity of social networking services such as Facebook and Twitter, one can’t help but ask, Is the new modesty simply exhibitionism? When teens think nothing of sending semi-nude photos of themselves to their boyfriends (and vise versa), is modesty — as a concept or social value — even relevant or useful any more?
Modesty is defined as both freedom from conceit or vanity and a propriety (or appropriateness) in dress, speech or conduct. Which begs the question — who defines what’s appropriate? Well, we do, of course! What works for one generation may be considered inappropriate by another generation, so it’s usually not too surprising to find that as one ages, one becomes more conservative and protective of the status quo. It’s what has always worked for us. Why change? Change is hard, change is unpredictable.
Getting back to the definition, Gregg et al. (2008) found that “Modest people emerged centrally as humble, shy, solicitous, and not boastful and peripherally as honest, likeable, not arrogant, attention-avoiding, plain, and gracious. Everyday conceptions of modesty also spanned both mind and behavior, emphasized agreeableness and introversion, and predictably incorporated an element of humility.” How could the New Modesty, then, be exhibitionism?
Perhaps modesty, in its current formulation, is a thing of the past. Perhaps it should leave our society as quickly as Fantasia Barrino’s singing did (and if you don’t recognize that name, well then, there you go). Perhaps society no longer values attention-avoiding people as much as attention-seeking people. After all, is anyone known for having only one Twitter follower or one Facebook friend? Would Ashton Kutcher have made headlines if he was modest?
But there’s that pesky little thought in the back of my mind that asks, “What if modesty serves some psychological or societal purpose that isn’t readily evident?”
It seems like a lot of the 446 research citations in PsycINFO for “modesty” alone have to do with very specific analyses of modesty in different cultures. Which is no surprise, given how the concept of modesty seems innately culturally-bound. Biswas-Diener (2006) suggests that modesty, as a cultural value in America and other places, may be very much on the decline:
For instance, the virtue of ‘‘modesty” was endorsed as being ‘‘very important” by only 13.6 Americans and received the lowest of all ratings for the Inughuit (people). It is possible that modesty is changing in the degree to which it is valued by cultures.
Ellsworth (1994) suggested that cultures are dynamic and that values related to modesty have changed dramatically in America since the 19th century. It is possible that behaviors related to modesty function primarily as social harmonizers, a task less important to large, individualistic societies such as that in the United States.
Why should one want to cultivate modesty instead of self-promotion and attention-seeking behaviors? Well, the research has some concrete, rational examples of why modesty works in your favor. Blickle et al. (2008), for instance, found that “It is modesty, and early career employees’ ability to present it well, that will lead to positive affect (i.e. liking) and behavior (e.g. benevolence and generosity) by senior managers.” Want to get ahead at your job? For most careers, modesty will be your best chance.
Modesty still has a home even as our society’s values appear to be changing and heading intractably down the road of exhibitionism and self-promotion. And that’s the point — perhaps the New Modesty is simply something a little more direct and frank than what some of us are used to. Perhaps it’s not “exhibitionism” so much as trying to be more “real” and “in the moment” with the people we care about — our friends and family.
And like all values, it appears modesty is morphing into something different and new. Which isn’t all bad, especially if you work hard to make it look like you’re being modest.
References:
Biswas-Diener, R. (2006). From the equator to the north pole: A study of character strengths. Journal of Happiness Studies, 7(3), 293-310.
Blickle, Gerhard; Schneider, Paula B.; Perrewé, Pamela L.; Blass, Fred R.; Ferris, Gerald R. (2008). The roles of self-disclosure, modesty, and self-monitoring in the mentoring relationship: A longitudinal multi-source investigation. Career Development International, 13(3), 224-240.
Gregg, Aiden P.; Hart, Claire M.; Sedikides, Constantine; Kumashiro, Madoka; (2008). Everyday conceptions of modesty: A prototype analysis. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34(7), 978-992.
8 comments
I began reading your article and as I settled in I see you made an offensive remark regarding the lovely and talented Fantasia [Barrino]. It offended me and turned me off and the remark was uncalled for. You people aggravate me. Be nice, you really could have left that remark alone. It was really uncalled for. In addition, she must not be to forgotten…You remembered her. Give it a rest she is trying to make her dreams come true just like the rest of us. My goodness do you all ever get tired? That’s rhetorical, I know you don’t. You know I had put this in my trash bin but it really, really, anonyed me. Give her a break. Here’s a novel idea, write your article’s, thoughts etc., without insulting, degrading or humiliating others. People who feel a need to speak unkindly of others usually have problems and insecurities of their own. Fantasis could probably care less and good for her; but you really offended me. If you want to respond I welcome it.
I don’t think modesty is decreasing dramatically. I mean, I’m 18 years old, and I’ve not sent naked pics of myself to my boyfriend or anyone else.
I think modesty will always be a value. People where I live (in Australia) tend to always downplay their successes, rather than embellish them.
This is just the older generation panicking about ‘youth today’ based on highly publicized new stories. There will always be someone in a younger generation that crosses a line. The older generation will panic about the future of the entire group based on the actions of a few.
I struggle to teach my daughter modesty in that most general sense. I think this is the backlash of the empowerment age. Empowerment is a good thing, but so is functioning well with other people and having a realistic perspective on your importance in the overall scheme of things. I think online posturing is a sign that Christopher Lasch’s “Culture of Narcissism” lives on.
I am not surprised. Look at all the stuff that is out there. Pictures of Britney getting out her car with no underwear, videos that treat women as willing sex objects, private tapes of stars having sex put on the internet, etc. Movies that show date rape and claim it isn’t. Have you noticed how young girls dress these days? Hardly modest. No wonder they think that nakedness is no big deal. Many don’t even consider “blow jobs” to be a sex act. They are being exposed to all of this without any filters. They are just following what they see in pop culture.
Wow Naru I want to move to where you live! I’m from Brisbane and am surrounded and cornered by hyper-individualistic young adults. Apparently there are thousands of centres of the universe as most under 30s folk I know believe it’s them!
I feel eccentric when I wear a skivvy in winter and stand out amongst the crowd of freezing girls in mini-dresses. Every girl wants to be the hottest in the room, and every guy fancies himself as the most charming. Ok I am generalising too much, there are many diamonds in the rough, but in Brisbane it’s a rare finding and one you hold onto.
Another 18 year old chiming in here–As a part of the aforementioned “youth”, I’m completely appalled by the lack of modesty in the US. It’s sickening really, the things people do/wear, and seriously makes me ashamed of my age group. I kind of just tell myself they’ll come to regret their actions when they get older, and I sincerely hope this is true.
Support for the premise of this article is glaringly absent. On what basis is the assumption made that because some percentage of young internet users are sending immodest pictures, that the percentage of immodest youth has changed from prior years. Recent studies have shown that the perception (among older people) of current teenage promiscuity is not accurate. See the 2007 National Youth Risk Behavior Survey.